The day has come

Congratulations, wonderful news! a new little bundle who will be reliant on you. Continue to stay gamble free and do her proud!! x

Congratulations Nick!

Wonderful news..... focus on that amazing moment & stay safe.

M x

Congratulations you now have a focus and it's something positive and precious brilliant

Congratulations you now have a focus and it's something positive and precious brilliant

Congratulations you now have a focus and it's something positive and precious brilliant

Day #4

Obviously been totally occupied lately with the arrival of my daughter.

Weekends would usually be my peak gambling times. I've had thoughts, but no desires or urges to gamble.

Hope we are all well and if I haven't responded to any of your messages I will in time. Ps thank you those who sent me congratulation messages. Peace and love people x

Well done nick really pleased for you mate. Let this be your motivation. Just think of the live you can lead if you dont gamble!

Stay strong mate and keep fighting.

Dan

100 days Dan! Congrats mate here's to clocking in many more 100's

Thanks mate, you will be there before you know it!

Hi Nick,

Thanks for your post in my diary earlier means a lot.

You are exactly the same as me , the big loss will pray on your mind for a while but trust me if you go chasing the big loss it will only lead to absolute ruin , roulette plays nasty tricks on the mind and somehow convince you the net big win is just around the corner.

The problem would be for me even if I won thousands on the roulette I still wouldn't stop until I had lost it all again , the thrill of the ride is just too great , but the other side of the coin is that walk of shame from the bookies when you literally dont have access to any more money , at home on the computer when you max out every card going , the empty feeling when you lierally have nothing left in the bank and then left begging , borrowing and selling to try get some cash back to lead every day life.

My problem is I have too many friends who like to gamble socially however I think a lot of us now realise habits needs to change.

Good Luck in your recovery mate.

Into double figures

***10 days strong***

Havent posted as much as intended lately, today has been a weird day. I am starting to come to terms with a recent major relapse seeing me s***k everything I had. But it is getting me thinking about why I have done this all too often. Am I unhappy? Do I need this excitement in my life? Do I have underlying insecurities which lead me to self harming so to speak by gambling? I don't know. Maybe all of the above. I have certainly been doing some soul searching. Reading a lot on here and what drives you to gamble. I have a stupidly addictive personality and am a bit of a phases person. There's an app on my phone stampede which I got way too addicted to and would spend hours on it. Checking into my zoo at 6am (I'm sounding crazy here) Although I'm not playing it much now, I was going to delete it the other day but I've spent far too much time to just delete it! I got rid of my PlayStation years ago as was spending far too much time on it. Do I just enjoy taking myself away from the reality of life? Being honest with myself is helping me get to the root cause of all this.

Will reply to those I haven't tomorrow. Good night all x

Well the good news is I haven't gambled a penny for 15 days so not only have I not lost any money I haven't had to live with the emotions that come with it. But today I feel low, really low. The last 2 mornings I have literally woke up wanting to cry. Motivation levels are rock bottom and getting up for work in the pitch black when it's -2 is testing me to say the least. My wicked mind tells me that I have to do this for 8 more weeks to cover a recent loss.

I think what certainly isn't helping is the fact I had a lot to drink at the weekend so my anxiety is peaking.

I have decided I'm going to look at getting some counselling. I have ignored my problems for too long and I want to live a happy life with my beautiful family.

Here's to hoping for sunshine tomorrow.