I am a 34 year old professional male who has a reasonable sucess within my chosen field, I earn a good living and recently got married to a woderful woman who is aware but doesnt want to acknowledge that I may have a problem (based on my deception I have no doubt).
My finances are in a mediocre state and compared to some on here I would be seen to not have a problem I pay my bills I live, and then I gamble all my money away. I am sick and tired of not being able to use the money I earn to move forward, I know and am aware that I have someting inside me that wants to blow my life up, yet I still talk myself into bad decisions that cost.
I am a sports fans have been since I was 10 love every sport going played to a good level most of my childhood and until work restricted it when i was in my 20's. I was introduced to betting at the age of 14 and god knows how much money I have paid for this over my life, the problem I have is that there is now such a link between me viewing sport and betting on it that I struggle to control what I am going to call "the beast" when I think about watching any sport.
Before I got married last year there were bills to pay and I gave up gambling for 105 days and spent much of my free time reading other peoples stories on here and found the time people make to encourage each other enabling. The only downside was how many people went back after a long time and I myself followed suit Cheltenham came around one of the big sporting events I like to bet on and we were off for another spin.
I probably have not reached rock bottom but I am going to try and let the intelligent man I know I am try and get control of the beast that lives in me and was hoping that if i could garner some support from fellow users on here it could'nt hurt my effots.
Thanks for reading
Tryinghard
Welcome to recovery 🙂
Why wait til you have reached rock bottom? There are no rules about recovery only ones that we put on ourselves! The problem with addiction is that it lives within us & until we learn how to live in harmony with it, it is very easy to slip back! If you give recovery 100% I can see no reason why you will! Aside from the numbers being the wrong way round & me being female, I could have written your 1st 2 chapters...Rock bottom isn't just Pay day loans & unpaid bills! Don't wait like I did! Get your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle broken & figure out what other tools you may find useful be that counselling, GA or anything else you read about. My OH is still very reluctant to accept what an issue I had but it's hard to be completely blind when you've been asked to hand your girlfriend (now wife) pocket money (even if that was only for a few months)! I don't need him to understand, just be supportive & even if that takes the odd nudge, it's what I get...Sounds like you could have the same benefit in your wife, just be mindful that she may need support once you get her on board!
I suspect once you draw a line under past losses & fix your eyes firmly on the future, you will understand that to control the beast will be to not feed it & life will become a whole lot more enjoyable - ODAAT
My tale is very similar to yours. I am highly regarded in my field. I have many qualifications. It doesn't mean anything at all when it comes to betting. I love sports and betting on them but I have no control over it so I can't win as I must bet on any event I am watching.
My dad can place a £1 bet on 3 teams at the weekend! I can't do that and furthermore I look down on that as pointless. It needed to be huge sums for me.
Read through my diaries and realise you've got to stop now. Each time I have relapsed I have given up a bit more autonomy. I probably didn't do this at the start as I never really wanted to quit or worse still could not imagine watching sport without betting on it. I've had to face facts and nowadays I can't really watch sport and I can't really listen to talksport... at least during the hours when a bookies is open. I cannot bet online as I closed every account I had. Since doing that during periods of mad urges I have tried to find new accounts but there are none... I had an account with every single bookies that is open to a UK player!
It makes me down just thinking about how pathetic that is. I've missed so many life opportunities through gambling as id rather sit in my house watching an event then getting out and living. Thankfully I met my wife before this addiction got hold of me because I lost all drive after that point. My motivation for life has taken such a nose dive I am really struggling to bring it make up.
Well done for coming on here but please take my advice, get some barriers in place and start counting the days.
thanks for the comments, part of the reason I started a topic (as I never have before and have been something of a voyer which hasnt had the greatest success) was to discuss with people who have quit for good if there can be enjoyment of sport after this or if as i suspect it is a trigger to my gambling I feel myself tending to look at every event as an oppurtunity to find a non existant edge.
I think the sadest thing is that while last time not gambling I read quite afew books that summised that the majority of CG have above average IQ's and are sucked into beliving they are cleverer than the odds compilers and even with the knowledge of this and how quickly I can blow money while gambling I went back
By the way it is day 2 non gambing for me
Yeah I'm there with you... I devised systems etc to beat the bookies. Worked for a while but compulsion kicks in and deviate from the system and just spiral. There is really very little edge.
Why do you think you gamble? Do you hate your job? See gambling as a way to make money? I do for a period.
It's tough mate. I'm day 36 for about my 5th attempt.
Hi, I am currently suffering through another major gambling loss, and have decided enough is enough, (or maybe the real reason is the funds left are so low I am scared), what I want to say is, abstaining is so hard when you have been gambling for a long time (6 years - with serious sums), in your head there is the constant thought, just a small amount gambled can win you more that you started out with, or I could win a lot, that thought process has to be eradicated. How do the successful people on here achieve that? I think I won't gamble again, because primarily i want to pay my bills and have a some sort of a sembelance (is that a word?) of life. But as my life is restricted and my monies grow if at all in the future years, how will i resist that thought process in say 3/6 months time. Extremely concerned ex-gambler, and I want to stay that way. Advice?
Why do I gamble, I think this is the millin dollar question. From my perspective it is all related no I dont hate my job most of the time it is a great job that I enjoy but with responisbilty comes inevitable stress and sometimes when things are tough it does play on my mind when I get home whats can i watch (bet on) on the telly. And so the stress leads to gambling but just as easily it can be when I have time off and nothing to fill my time the first thought is where are the horses going this afternoon.
I have gambled with a 105 day break for nigh on 20 years and obviously due to luck or some form of small discipline i have never reached financial ruin, but I am also under no illusion that a good wage is being lost and has been for a long time.
I think everyone who gambles or at least sport bettors think that they have it in them to make a living from this when they start and when they have a good run it seems that it could be a possibilty. But no I am realistic enough to have done the maths or as much as I am able to and gambling is never ever going to be profitable but I struggle to bet for fun or as a pastime or in small amounts, like you said above having a £1 three team accumulator is never going to get the buzz and its sad because if it did I could probably afford to see it as a hobby.
The real kick in the teeth with not being able to bet small and enjoy is that my friends and I like to go to sporting events and most of them when we are away like to have a bet, this is usually starts for me as a fun time and then if it goes badly can really rack up the expense as when i am away from home on a trip I tend to lose my mind and gamble in the intense manner that others may do more regularly this unfortunatly is a mindset that must go.
I was hoping that some like minded individuals were out there who had some adviuce for me and my situation because a lot of gamblers today are machines and casinos which have never been for me (probably why I have never had financial ruin) and it seems due to the responses there are people out there struggling with the same issues as me
Hello Mate, as you are on here then you do realise that you do have a problem just like everyone else on here...like yourself my problem, addiction, weakness or whatever you want to call it is sports betting and I went through wins and loses...and there were periods when winning for a period of time where you felt invincible and I thought I "cracked" the system...but in time the luck runs out and so are the winnings and the loses start dragging you down...Yes some people it will drag all the way down before they can start climbing back up...i have been doing this for the last 13 years...and reached the point where I cannot watch sports without thinking odds..honestly just admit to yourself that you have a problem...you will never make a profit long term..only bookies will and maybe find or discover another hobby that you can enjoy instead...Otherwise you will be back time and time again...it's time to spend your money on things you really enjoy
Just wanted to say really well done for coming on here and posting and also barriers are really key. Make it as difficult for you to gamble as possible. Even better make it as near to impossible as is possible! I would avoid sport for a couple of days and just note when you get an urge to check a page, turn on the tv, turn on the radio etc. Those pages, glances and sounds are the first steps in a sports better. You need to stop them at source and then gradually start reintroducing them. It's a really difficult thing. For example I have watched no snooker so far as I know it would drive me insane.
3. I will try to post on here every day if possible gives me a focus rather than just thinking about betting.
Had a sad thought today during my betting sabatical I went twice to the races (I know not a good idea if trying to give up) but I was not tempted and did not have a bet on either trip the real issue was how I explained to my friends and peers why I was not having a bet. I was severly embaressed that i could not control myself enough to have a bet at the races and so I pretended to have a bet in an attempt to make everything seem normal, I would walk off to "find some odds" and come back to tell everyone what I had bet. This was a highly complex deception I put together to maintain "normality" and if I can put that same effort into not betting I should be able to beat this beast.
4. Tough day today seemed to be a lot of queit time today which was filled as is normal with thoughts of odds, angles and upcoming sporting events. Changed tack though and thought I will write about that tonight when I get in, anyway another day abstaining, one day at a time the real challenges lie ahead.
5. Much better day today full day at work no time to think on gambling, feeling posisitve about my descision am organising a get together with some old university friends (none of whom gamble) should be a laugh
Nothing more to report really day 5 over and out
Hi tryinghard, have you considered a recovery diary? Looks like you're planning on sticking around & the diaries are a little easier to navigate for us computer dinosaurs! The real challenges may well lie ahead but you have to negotiate these smaller ones to get there!
Great work so far, keep it up - ODAAT
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