Morning!
I've been here before with a different username, it really helped but then I ended up not posting and old habits crept back in.
So sick of checking my account in the morning and see exactly how much I'm being am idiot. I said the same thing last time, I'm not a stupid person but cant understand my actions.
I get paid well from my job and don't need the money from a win. Yet I seem to be chasing the buzz that I've had before. Last month I was on a roll and was basically up but this month I've just been chucking money away.
No more
Going to do a daily diary and throw myself into work. I swear that I'm going to appreciate every penny and see myself through this stupid habit that really had gripped me and made me lose perspective of what is important the value of money.
Hi Chris, welcome back to the Forum,
Difficult to know what advice to give, and what you have received previously, if you've posted before under a different username but no problem, these things happen.
Compuslive gambling does give you a "buzz" of sorts, but it is based on a lie my friend, that you can actually win and walk away. You want to believe there is an element of risk, but there isn't, because you have lost already once you have placed that first bet or spin; your "roll" brought your here - yours, mine and everyone else's biggest wins always lead to us wanting more at higher stakes, which always leads to us losing.
You have to question how long that buzz actually lasts my friend - I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago; if I won, there was still a hollow feeling afterwards, and that comes as a result of you not actually achieving anything, or gaining any genuine happiness or fulfilment. And even if you still enjoy the buzz, is it really worth how you feel right now? Nothing is my friend, nothing at all.
When I stopped, I realized that money actually meant very little to me - there is only so much you can eat and drink in one day, and there is only so much time you can have off of work to enjoy it. We all dream of material wealth and possessions but the people who really, truly want those things would never have risked a penny in the first place.
You are not stupid my friend, but you will be if you don't learn from where you went wrong last time and if you don't follow through with your plans; push yourself, force yourself to change - keep your mind occupied because there are many other things out there that can give you the buzz that you crave.
JamesP
Hi James,
Those are really touching words and you're totally right. It's nice (albeit sad) to see that my feelings are standard amongst other people.
Well today is first day with no gambling, I've definitely felt like I would beat this before but this does feel different, I do feel as though it's the worst it's ever been and there is a logical point to climb back up from. Thanks for your support and keep up the good work x
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