hi i am new to the forum but after 20 years of gamblimg ive decided that todays the day i am gonna try my hardest to try and stop, my biggest worry is what do i do now to try and take my mind of it.i was 14 when iput my first bet on the grand national and i won the follwing year the same, then just as i turned 16 the lottery was introduced so i started to do that, still not a problem as these was what you call what everyone does, and it was all done on paper round money then i got my first job al i had to pay was 20 a week board soon as i got paid i was in the local arcade i would stay there till every last penny was gone the go home in such a miserable mood as i was skint til the following week , this was happening every week for bout 3 yrs, it wasnt just my money i was throwing away tho i was borring from the bank getting credit cards i knew then i had a problem, then at 21 i became pregnant i told my self oh i wils top when the baby comes because i wont be able to go down also i will want to buy nice things for my baby , but soon as family allowance came in which you use to get from the post office sraight in to your hand i would get what i needed but then i would start buying scratch cards, i had a partner who wasnt not addicted so luckily the bills was getting paid , then at 24 i started work again and met a new partner who also introduced me to new tecnology oh boy i think this was my biggest down fall ever the internet, i was on it all night gambling i found poker, bingo slots alsorts i was in heaven, i would only bet small as i wanted my fund to last longer but even small adds up to more than i was earning so i would get more loans to pay the previios ones and make sure i had enough left over so i could fund a little on all the sites i used, a few years went by again my parnter was covering most the household bills i only had to gt the shopping from mine and pay my debts , well the debts never got paid and the shpping well i copuld cut back and get through on only 30 a week shopping god i feel so ashamed as im reliving the things ive done, a few times i would argue with my partner because i would be begging for him to give me money which i knew he had but which he knew we needed for bills or other things, he even cut the phone line so we couldnt conect to the net as he had had enuff of themoney just going but i mamnged to wire it back up , by the age of 25 i was in 22,000 of debt . i owed banks credit cards,doorstep loans, family .
then the most shamefull and i absolutly hate my self for the next part, my son was diagnosed with autism and was granted dla which because he was under 16 i got control BIG MSTAKE
i became his full time carer too which meant i got extra money to and had to give up work , some of the money got spent on my son and we started going out on day trips had a few holidays the usual stuff you do when money aint a problem , but whilst he was at school i would be back on the pc loggin in to all my sites. before i knew it all the money had gone so again i was borowing from anyone who would lend me , int he mean time i would get a few wins on the bingo withdraw it then pay back the personwho i borrowed from , over then next few years i litteraly dried up all my borrowing possiblilies , pay day loans , i even got freinds to get paydays loans but my theory was well if i lose 200 this week i wil win 300 next and pay them back with some left over of course this never happend, the bingo itself wasnt a problem it was the slots they have on them, i started off spinng 50 P a go then i won 200 from it which wasnt enuff to cover what i owed back so my theory was to win big you have to bet big so i was slowly edging my bets higher and higher, i manged to get my balnce up to 1000 one time but my problem then was i wanted more as 1000 wasnt not enough to pay pack what i owe, underneath i knew that it would have paid of some but it was like no it has to be all or nothing, so whilst chasing more which never comes it would be gone , back to square 1, i would then get freind to take payday loans for me.but now theve all said no more , i have joined this site as i really do need to stop and i think am i only doing it because themoney is dried up and i am so scared to say i want to stop. i have closed a few of my accounts so i know ive already took a step foward im 37 now my son is 15 and i know that life is to precious to live in a dream land thinking one day you wll win enough to change your life , but i am also scared that after 20 yrs of gambling what do i do now , i will be onthis forum a lot as evertime i feel the need to gamble i willcome here instead and read some stories and hope one day mine will be a differnt one to tell
Hi Michdan,
No judgement, but it sounds like you used to enjoy a bet on things like the lottery and only gambled as a treat once in a while. Then you discovered internet gambling around the same time you had a baby as a single mum? Then you discovered your child had a special need (Autism).
Around this time you became stressed (as any 'normal' person would faced with all this ) and started gambling to escape the pressure / boredom / anxiety of your current life?
If the above is a fair assessment then I'd say give yourself a break and don't feel so dark on yourself.
Think about the reasons WHY you are gambling. You admit it yourself that it's not about the money, but more about the buzz and chance of feeling in control whilst escaping from the daily grind.
Like any addiction if you cut off the supply then after a very short time (maybe even a couple of weeks) the urges go. A lifestyle change is what's needed to stay quit though.
Think about the things you enjoyed before gambling - or try something new. A new hobby, a new study course. Even just walking into a local forest and screaming your nut off. Anything fresh.
Best wishes to you. Stay strong and feel the self-esteem buzz of not giving in to a crappy pointless addiction.
Molehole x
Hi Michdan,
Welcome to the forum.
Well done on recognising the problem with your gambling and for seeking advice. You will find a lot of support here and a community of people who understand your struggle with gambling please keep reading and posting on the forum. Some forum members find that posting a recovery diary is a useful strategy to help in overcoming gambling problems.
As well as self-exclusion you could also think about installing blocking software onto your computer. Some of our forum users have described additional ways they try to limit their freedom to gamble online, by arranging their finances in ways that slow down how quickly they can access their money, or limiting their ability to spend money online. You might read forum posts here where members talk about changing their bank account to remove the facility to spend online, instead using a basic cash card that allows you to withdraw cash on the high street.
I would also encourage you to call our helpline and talk things through with a GamCare adviser on 0808 8020 133 or on our netline. The advisers can provide emotional support and helpful information as well as facilitate a referral to free one to one counselling appointments if you’d like to access that service.
Best wishes
Rachel.
thank you for the replies, and to mole your words make complete sense, i hope with the help from this site i can break my habbit that has took over my life for so long now , day 1 nearly over whoo hoo
Michdan. I am in the process of trying to stop and maybe not in the position to give advice as I am only a few days in but on top of what you have already been told I can advise the following. Take it one second at a time if u need to. A second is a new victory over gambling. Seconds turn into minutes which turn into hours and then days. When you feel the urge to gamble just think that every second of not doing it counts and then go for a walk to try and get your head cleared. Make sure you aren't cooped up in your house/flat all of the time and ensure that you get speaking to a friend of family member at least once a day to keep focused on reality. I don't necessarily mean to talk to them about gambling but my experience is that sometimes I went a day or more without speaking to a real person and things appeared less real and the throwing away of money wasn't so important.....which is obviously bulls**t
hi thank you for the reply any advice is greatfuly recieved as i do think i am going to struggle and its been nice coming on here and realisin im not on my own x
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