Where to start

You certainly need help, look up your nearest GA meeting and open up about this addiction.

Hi Joe-90

Thanks for your response, I'm not sure that I would feel comfortable going to a GA meeting. I know I need to put the gambling blocks in place but it seems so final and I like to play poker which for me does not cause me a problem. I have already excluded myself from online slots/casinos and have not downloaded another site. I did that over a year ago and have not succumbed to online slots since.

My problem is the slot machines at the casino and occasionally I have lost money in the betting shop FOBT. I am going to go into my local casinos and self exclude.

Is it possible to still play poker for small stakes or do I have to stop all gambling?

Playing poker is what has stopped me from downloading a gambling blocking site as I would still like to play. But then I think about the time that I spend playing poker and think that it would be better to spend that time relaxing. My motivation to stop gambling is thinking about my retirement and knowing that if I carry on like I have been doing then this will not be possible.

I have reached rock bottom before and confessed to my husband. I can remember the date it was the day of the Brexit vote 23/06/16. I have never felt so bad and he was so angry that he said that if I was to do it again then it would be the end of our relationship. We've been together for 35 years and it is this that makes me feel so ashamed about. He is the most fantastic person, he gambles everyday but it has never been a problem to him. He only gambles what he can afford and I have to say he is quite successful in that he has not had to put any money in his 2 gambling accounts for the past 6 months and has even paid for holidays and extras. While I go on self destruct gambling much more than I can afford.

The more that I am writing this, the more am I thinking that I should just bite the bullet and self exclude from all sites and not kid myself that I can gamble responsibly. I suppose that I would like to be able to go to the casino on the odd occasion and play a game of poker with my husband or friend and I wouldn't be able to do that.

Well I will sleep on it tonight and think things through tomorrow. Just registering on this site has been a big step for me today.

Hi, of course you need to give up poker ! As sooner or later you will drift back into slots / casino games etc. The notion that you can just 'stick to the odd game of poker' is your gambling illness / hungry gambling monster kidding you, seducing you into continuing to gamble.

If you're thinking about continuing to play poker occasionally for small stakes then what is the point ? As the most you could win would be a few quid here & there (more will go on the house rake / entry fees), and a) you would not have succeeded in giving up gambling b) you run the risk each time of your gambling then leading to playing slots & casino games etc leading to chasing leading to yet more losses.

Gambling is gambling there is no differentiation. In your conscience you know this. Rather than continue to be divided & split within yourself make the decision you know yourself deep down is right. I think what you have (that many addicted gamblers have at this point) is the struggle within between a) the deep-down, healthy, conscience-led part of you knowing that gambling is destroying you that it is causing you pain & suffering & massive financial problems that it is unconscionable, and b) the sick, ill, addicted part of you just wanting to gamble regardless of the consequences.

There is only one way to rationally, healthily resolve this conflict and to unify yourself, to stop being split. Otherwise you will spend an equal amount of energy turning one way, and an equal amount of energy turning the other, leading to you wasting a huge amount of energy getting nowhere.

Hi Karles,

As you have said yourself, deep down you know the answer. The reality is your a gambling addict, you may have some sort of control during certain periods but the overall picture is gambling of any sort will lead you back to this self destructive path. You cannot do it on your own either, you will need support and its going to be hard to get full support from your husband who sounds like he has an issue himself.

At GA you will be at a meeting with other compulsive gamblers, like on here their advice and understanding is invaluable. ALso the act of saying these things aloud really helps in my opinon as we have so much of this swirlling around our heads.

Your husband may not have a financial issue with gambling but that does mean he does not have an issue, fair enough he only gambles what he can afford to lose but he is still gambling every day in your words. That is not healthy, he may be in control but how much time does he spend gambling or preparing to gamble each week? Hardly sounds normal to me. Your son has a gambling problem too and bailing him out is no answer.

Forget gambling of any sort for today and make a plan to get to GA and find out about the 12 step recovery program and claim your life back.

davey wrote:

Hi, of course you need to give up poker ! As sooner or later you will drift back into slots / casino games etc. The notion that you can just 'stick to the odd game of poker' is your gambling illness / hungry gambling monster kidding you, seducing you into continuing to gamble.

If you're thinking about continuing to play poker occasionally for small stakes then what is the point ? As the most you could win would be a few quid here & there (more will go on the house rake / entry fees), and a) you would not have succeeded in giving up gambling b) you run the risk each time of your gambling then leading to playing slots & casino games etc leading to chasing leading to yet more losses.

Gambling is gambling there is no differentiation. In your conscience you know this. Rather than continue to be divided & split within yourself make the decision you know yourself deep down is right. I think what you have (that many addicted gamblers have at this point) is the struggle within between a) the deep-down, healthy, conscience-led part of you knowing that gambling is destroying you that it is causing you pain & suffering & massive financial problems that it is unconscionable, and b) the sick, ill, addicted part of you just wanting to gamble regardless of the consequences.

There is only one way to rationally, healthily resolve this conflict and to unify yourself, to stop being split. Otherwise you will spend an equal amount of energy turning one way, and an equal amount of energy turning the other, leading to you wasting a huge amount of energy getting nowhere.

Thanks Davey, you are so right of course and I know it deep down. Gambling is pernicious and for someone like me it has to be a total block on all gambling. I don't need it, I work full time and it takes more of my freetime than I would really want to spend on it. I also want to retire in 4 years time and I am not going to be able to afford to do that if I continue with my current lifestyle.

Today I nearly went to the casinos at either lunchtime or after work to self exclude as they are both near my work but deep down I knew that if I went today I would gamble so I am going to go at a later date when I feel a bit stronger and will go when I have left my debit card at home. I want to make sure that I don't have the means to gamble when I go to self exclude. A friend is going to go with me.

Today I have not gambled.

Thanks Joe-90

I see what you are saying about my husband but I really don't think it is a problem to him. It is an hobby to him, he has now retired and although he does bet almost everyday it doesn't stop us going out. I think its a bit like the social drinker and the alcoholic, I'm the alcoholic.

I will seriously consider GA and see if my son wants to come too. Although he has been in control for over 2 months now and he knows that I can't afford to bail him out anymore and he is starting to pay me back too. He has a small son and knows how evil gambling is. He is wanting to get his life back on track too. I'm just hoping that it won't take him as long as it did me to address this addiction.

Well yesterday was a bad day. I’ve let myself down and feel very angry but also see that I need to take steps to self exclude from all gambling. I’m not going to go into details because it’s irrelevant but suffice to say there is a cost.

I have now self excluded from online sites using gamstop. But more importantly I need to self exclude from my 2 local casinos. I wish it was as easy as self excluding from online. I find it embarrassing having to walk into a casino where people know your face to admit your a problem gambler but I guess it’s one of the things I need todo if I’m going to rid myself of this demon.

I know there has been advice about going to GA but I can’t go to a local group due to type of work I do as I would be far too concerned that there would be clients I may come into contact with.

Can someone tell me how to reset my non gambling clock.

good post

Karles,

You are trying to beat an addiction on your own, you need to get this out in the open. If you feel the nearest GA meeting might have clients then look for one further away. Unless you do something to change, you wont.

Thank you Joe but I can’t go to a local group and the other one is over an hour away from my home. I work compressed hours so don’t finish work till after 6pm so would struggle to get there by 7:30 and it starts at 7pm. I have a very stressful job and the thought of going to a meeting of any kind in the evening would be just too much. I am not doing this alone I have a very good friend who I can talk to and who is going to come with me to the casinos to self exclude on Wednesday. I’m so looking forward to getting that sorted because I think it will give me peace of mind.

Today I have not gambled and. I hope it will be the start of a new life for me.

Hi this the first time I have posted but I have been a member for a few months it has taken me a while to face up to things about my gambling problems. My addiction was mainly horses and dogs but more and more I got into roulette in the bookies and have lost thousands over the last few yrs. I know I need help but struggle to ask or look for it I am stubborn like that. Gambling had cost me so much not just in terms of money and happiness but relationships as well. I have a son who I am estranged from due to my problems with money and betting. Try as I do I cant seem to stop I intend to but the find myself beting and losing again.

Hello Karles

Welcome to the forum I can see from your posts that you are looking at self- exclusion from Casinos

There is a way to self -exclude from casinos where you do not have to visit the casino. You can complete a form for self -exclusion for casinos and post it to your local casino. It’s called the SENSE exclusion- Self exclusion from all UK Casinos.

www.playing safe.org.uk Please see further information here http://playingsafe.org.uk/sense-information/

For self- exclusion from all local betting shops you can call 0800 294 2060 to self -exclude

We also have a helpline where you can talk with an adviser about your problem gambling and they will listen to your concerns. There is also other support they can give you information about such as free counselling. The helpline is open 8am -midnight on 0808 8020 133

Kind Regards

Forum admin

Keep posting we are here to support you.

Karles,

I just hear excuses to be honest, all our lives are stressful and difficult, they are made infinitley more difficult by gambling. To really stop we must make significent change to ourselves which will take hard work and honesty. Doing it would also set a great example for your son.

Putting up the barriers are an esential first step so well done to you for that, but given time we will be bark at square one if we dont change.

Hi all

I haven't posted on here for awhile not because I've not wanted to and not because I've gambled but due to the technical difficulties. I am now gf for 24 days. I've put the blocks in place. I went with my friend to the casino that I went to the least to self exclude which made it easier and they were very nice about it and completed it online for me there and then. I have also registered with Gamban and therefore all blocks are put in place. I have not banned myself from betting shops because I sometimes have occasion to go in with friends when we are out at the weekend. However, we have only been the once in the last 4 weeks and I just stood there and did not gamble. I also feel so positive that I don't want to gamble. I'm aiming to keep looking at my gf clock and feeling a sense of pride in seeing the days mount up.

I've been away on my own for the weekend with work and it was to a seaside area and although there was a casino there was also a lot of those other arcades and betting shops too. I didn't feel the urge to gamble once and spent my time going for a meal and a few drinks with colleagues. I remember 2 years ago when I went on a similar venture and ended up going to the casino. Work is really telling on me at the moment as these darker nights make me feel more tired. I have been going to bed earlier, I've not played any poker as now self excluded and enjoying relaxing more.

I'm starting to feel much more positive and although I know it will take time and it's something that I must not get complacent about, the future looks much brighter. Booked a latedeal holiday so going to lie in the sun for a week at the end of this week.