2014 Challenge

Hope I'm not too late... Checking in still GF 🙂

On my holidays, hence the very late check in for me. Hope all are well. Stay strong

Scambling

Morning everyone!!

Hope you are all doing well and that the weather is better down your way than it is at mine. As I've posted I'm having to work today so at some point over the day I'll pull together the stats and get them on - apologies, but needs must at times.

Have a great Sunday!! Check in is now closed for last week and while I won't be changing the front page until later on today, any check ins from now on will be taken for the new week - cue Steve, delboygolf, my Mr Reliable!!!

Take care everyone!

Me Brightside!!!

Hey everyone not necessarily checking in as i have already done so yesterday i'm just giving an update on my life as of now..i am still working on my problem with my husbands support and constant surveillence ie limiting my time on the computer by taking away the net which i sincerely do not blame him as i have failed my family too many times to count..although at the moment he is putting some trust in me otherwise i would not be on here on this site telling everyone. I am getting by though..i have a good feeling about this and i havnt even had the urge to even look at a gambling site let alone visit one to make a deposit 🙂 and im 15 days gamble free hehe 😀

Checking in on day 115.

Day 245: Checking In,, another 120 days and thats a whole year, i still dont know what to do with myself tho

Apologies for my belated check in been a busy week. Day 21 for me it feels like ages since I've bet and it's only been 3 weeks I suppose its all about baby steps though. Hope everybody is doing well.

Good evening everyone!

Once again and for the last time, apologies about having to delay the update for this week. Some quality and performance issues over the last couple of weekends in work had to be nipped in the bud and some “coaching” provided to team members on the shift………..not a nice job to have to do and I guess “you just need to do what you need to do” applies in this situation. Happy to say that it seems to have had the desired effect!

Onto the abridged update for this week then - “Hurrah!”, I hear you all say! In the update we’ll have the Headlines for the Week, the Roll of Honour, Milestones Achieved and Coming Up, New Team Members and finally, a few asks of the team in preparation for next week’s update! I’m also going to make some special mentions! So here we go!

Headlines for the Week

For the first time in a few weeks we have been flat on our team member’s growth rate - 43 started the week and 43 will start the new week ahead of us. The big however, as you’d expect, is that it’s a slightly different 43 that will march into w/c 14th July, with the 5 soldiers who did not make check in being replaced by 2 missing soldiers and 3 new soldiers. That gave us a “standard” retention rate of 88%. We have broken through a big milestone as an active team this week though, with the 43 current soldiers now having a collective group total of just over 10 years of gamble free days - quite incredible!! The total numbers of gamble free days on the challenge from the outset has also passed a major milestone, with over 20 years of abstinence being delivered!! All of our key measures are looking healthy as well - money saved is up over 8% on the week and is fast approaching the 0.4 million GBP mark - it won’t be long before we pass the half million mark.

New and Returning Members this Week

We’ve been blessed with the safe return of two of our soldiers in the form of fitzy and ToBeOrNot - delighted to see you back guys and glad, despite some personal challenges and holidays, that you are both going strong.

There are 3 new soldiers joining the ranks this week:-

Believer - has been really active on the forum this week and should be a great addition to the team! Welcome to the group believer and hopefully we can support you through the difficult early stages and beyond.

mjc1974 - following a posted elsewhere on the site, it seemed really appropriate to approach mjc1974 and invite her to come and join us. I’ve certainly not been let down and really believe that our group will be really important in supporting through longer term recovery! Welcome to the team!

markieb10 - welcome to the group Mark - I’ve read today about your struggles over the weekend and the small blip. I really hope that you can reflect on how you could have slipped and raise your defences so it can’t happen again. Think of the money-time-location triangle and ensure your learnings forces you to remove one of these at least in the short term.

We've also got the potential for another couple of soldiers to join us - profbets and Jayata - thanks for expressing an interest to join the challenge - I've left a message for each of you on the very first page of the challenge thread - please read these and respond accordingly.

Some Mentions………

StoneRoses - firstly, congratulations on the new name - one of the best bands ever to have graced the planet! Secondly, I’m conscious that I’ve not formally congratulated you on your latest results from University - you find yourself in such a great place mate - education coming together, gambling stopped and a massive future ahead of you! To your point, just think about what is achievable in the next couple of years without the hindrance of gambling!! It’s just superb to see your buoyant posts and optimism!

Onlineplayer - as long as you are not staking money to win money or goods then you are not gambling, so you’ve not let the team down if this is the case. I guess the bigger concern is that you’ve logged in, taken a free “bet” and while you have lost, it’s the whole triggering system and lure that is putting you at risk. What would you have done had you won? Well done for not staking, but have a really good think about the implications on your recovery - but it’s absolutely your call.

Del79 - it’s not strictly speaking a milestone, but in a way it is…….and deserves a special mention! I realise you’ve been through worse than a hard time recently Del and I just wanted to say how proud I am that the leader of the group is still demonstrating the type of leadership we’ve grown to expect from you……..not faltering when the ideal excuse was there to do so is a clear sign that a future without gambling is less of a possibility now and more of a probability. Just so that everyone knows, Del is now on the 11 month mark…….30 days to go until he and we celebrate 1 full year of being free from gambling!! For those of you in Scotland (and those of you who are not!) we will be meeting up in Glasgow for a bite and a few drinks on Friday 15th August. For various reasons I am not going to put the location for the get together on the forum, but will deal in email (as per the one on the front of the challenge thread under my first sign off) - so if you’d like to come then please email me telling me and I’ll continue to correspond with you via mail or text. Will be a good night and partners or friends are welcome!

Bornagain - Phil contacted me at work earlier to ask if he could lend some support and help me with the update today. I just wanted to publicly thank you for this mate - it was a brilliant gesture and one that reminded me how important the selfless relationships that we are developing during this challenge actually are! I will take you up on your offer very soon!

Milestones Celebrated in the Week

We’ve had a good few celebrations in the week gone by and here they are!

Happy Days smashed through the 30 week barrier and beyond 210 days!

ToBeOrNot sailed past 20 weeks of being gamble free and towards the next milestone of 150 days!

Drew2002 and Wolfgang both became members of the Century Club! Remarkably, of the current 43 members of the team, we now have 18 members of the special 100+ day group…….with another one joining this coming week……..and another 2 who never managed to check in!! Nearly half of the team are Century Club members…..if you needed a reason to believe that the group ethic works, then this is it!!

Daz71 and D70 (today!) both moved half way to the Century Club and into the big milestone territory. This is the first time that the guys have featured in the milestones list - don’t underestimate how massive this is guys!! Congratulations on how far you have come and thanks for your ongoing commitment and contribution!

Milestones in the Coming Week

There are lots of milestones this week………and here they are day by day……..

Monday 14th July - Gladsdad becomes the 19th member of the Century Club! A big day for you GD! Also on Monday, fitzy hits the half century and onto 50 days of being gamble free!

Tuesday 15th July - Another double celebration day! Bornagain hits the 30 week mark and help2604 eases onto 70 days free and into double digits of weeks of recovery! Great going folks!

Thursday 17th July - luckygirl reaches 91 days clean…….with is 13 weeks……or in other words, exactly quarter of a year!! Superb LG!!

Friday 18th July - richy244 reaches a milestone only ever achieved once on the challenge before - we will have a soldier who has been clean for 250 days! Proud of you richy!

Saturday 19th July - it’s a triple celebration day…….Stone Roses and John64 both reach the half century milestone and into the run of milestones that lead the way to the Century Club……it’s also past the most difficult period of time for recovery as per our recent survey. It’s also a huge day for me…..nothing to do with gambling…….but a big reason for continuing to be motivated to abstain…….it is Baby Brightside’s 4th birthday……….and she knows the words to her dad’s anthem song!! I can’t wait!!

Sunday 20th July - the gorgeous and amazing Lady Baggins reaches 20 weeks!! Please tell me Joanna that when the group meets up next year that you will be there? I have to meet you! Congratulations on yet another great milestone!

Roll of Honour

Here is the roll of honour for the current active members of the team and the clean days they are carrying……….

Name Gamble Free Days

bornagain 208

Happy Days 213

lostafortune 128

Mr Brightside 217

Delboy79 335

rst187togo 22

Hitthefan 162

luckygirl 87

Baggins 133

ToBeOrNot 142

triangle 122

Scambling 218

Kickitnow 130

NoCrisis 60

ringerbell 122

delboygolf 115

Drew2002 105

Gladsdad 99

Pinky333 27

Wolfgang 103

Mo 25

help2604 68

Shorty8 113

julio 130

Daz71 56

John64 44

D70 50

Mileend 15

Fitzy 49

LIFESWINNER 41

Wolf57 38

charlie1720 36

richy 244 245

onlineplayer 31

Unaitsert 22

StoneRoses 44

Elfie17 20

Matty21 22

GamAddict 14

SuzyLemon 31

markieb10 0

Believer 12

mjc1974 47

Drum roll………total days free of gambling since the Challenge began……….

7348 Days = 0.3674 million GBP in our pockets………………..0 GBP in the bookies!!!

That is serious serious serious money we are saving now! Maybe we should do a feature on debt, debt repayment and targets at some point too!

….the final words…….and the asks of the team!!

I asked during the week if anyone had any suggestions as to a feature for the coming weeks and I’ve had a couple of great ideas coming from the team.

Over the course of the next 2 weeks, I’d ask that along with your check in, you post about what your main problem gambling area was AND what 1 or 2 things you would recommend to someone with the same problem area would be in order to stop. (In fact, I’ve just had a third great idea emailed to me - thanks Joanna - will keep that one up the sleeve for August!!)

We’ve already begun to build a level of intelligence about effective stopping techniques, but they have been broad advice for stopping in general - if we can gather more specific evidence for online or football or horses or FOBT’s then we give people like us who are starting their journeys so much more of a chance to succeed in their recovery.

Here’s my answer to the request - my main area of problem gambling was football coupons, however, because I very rarely gambled online I would play in store…….which inevitably meant that I got caught in the grip of the FOBT cycle of “win enough to put on my coupons and have a free gambling day, but lose my money, go to the bank, put my coupons on at twice the price, try to win my FOBT stake back and lose the lot………………..then win on the football coupon, go to pick up the winnings and pile it all back in the FOBT anyway to chase the losses...........and lose the lot”. 2 things were critical to me starting my recovery journey…….the first was telling my family, and I don’t need to go into the details of why that helped, but key in there was no secrets. The second was to follow the principle of the triangle - money, time and location. Remove one and you can’t gamble. If you think about it, it’s not easy to completely remove one in totality and that’s where willpower and downright determination to stop comes in. Self exclusion and being sufficiently tuned into myself to know that I couldn’t be trusted to manage my money were key. So it’s over to you guys!

There will be a feature next week while we are pulling together the responses to this weeks question. It will be a spotlight of a completely different kind. In conversation with bornagain today he had the great idea of asking someone who doesn’t have a problem with gambling to do the spotlight, but with an alternative lens on it. I am delighted to say that my mum, who is also my accountant, my friend, my advisor and someone I owe so much in terms of supporting me through my recovery has agreed to share her thoughts on the changes she has seen in me, the key things she would advise of friends and family of a problem gambler while also sharing her observations about the forum and what she sees as the key steps for a problem gambler to take to begin recovery. She is an avid reader of the forum and especially the challenge - she is probably just as emotionally connected to you all as I am. She is equally as keen to support the group and I think she will see this as a way she can input! Looking forward to it Mother Brightside!

That’s the “short” update for this week - check in has been open for a few hours - please check the front page to see whether I’ve taken your earlier post as a late check in, an early check in, or both!

Have a fantastic week everyone - the sporting events keep coming and coming - stay strong, keep the guard up and post lots!

Mr Brightside

Hi Mr B and fellow soldiers.

Checking in on day 21. 3 weeks, yippee. Hopefully not as busy this week as last so will have time to catch up on posts and responses.

My nemesis is online slots. Started with online bingo and very soon won 1,000. I can remember the happiness I felt at that stage. This was quickly followed by a 1,000 on online scratchcards. Again, complete happiness. Went on to online slots and apart from a few good wins it has been downhill all the way. Many losses, loans, sleepless nights and despairing days (years???) later and I can't believe how the first log in has changed my life. How happiness quickly turned to woe. What my life could have been over the last few years.

That is all behind me know.

I would recommend a complete block of any gambling sites for anyone with online gambling problem. Self exclusion is great but there are so many new sites popping up the temptation is always there to join. What has also helped is my sister having control of finances for me. Without both of these I would still be able to gamble. I am not interested in the bookies and we have no casino here. So 2 thirds of the triangle are helping. I still have the time to gamble but I am working on that so that my life gets fuller.

Hope this helps and look forward to seeing other replies to your questions.

Hope you all have a great gambling free week.

Keep strong, soldiers.

Elfie

Morning everyone. Approaching 23 days free and feeling really good.

1. My problem is with online betting - e.g. tennis, volleyball, basketball in-play. So many options that you easily get hooked and will put your money on anything.

2. Advice for stopping. Count up money you have saved from not gambling and secondly keep active, go for walks, listen to music, ride a bike, see friends (if you can afford it).

Have a good week everyone.

Rst.

Day 45 looking forward too a new week ! no gambling for me ! stay strong everyone

"Hail to thee blithe Brightside..." (Percy Bysshe Shelley)

Thank you as ever for another brilliant update and for reminding me about my 20 weeks coming up on 20 July. But 19 July is even more special - I share a birthday with Baby Brightside! Give her a kiss for me. I shall be celebrating by taking a James Bond speedboat ride on the Thames - can't decide on my outfit though: the Ursula Andress bikini or the Rosa Klebb look...

Here are my answers to your questions:

1. Ditto Elfie; I started with online bingo - what fun (! ) and then got hooked on the slots. 'This is easy money' I thought as I banked several hundred and then proceeded to lose it all in the coming weeks. So the pattern was then set - win, withdraw, cancel withdrawal, lose, stake even more to claw back my losses. Result:

living on overdraft every month, spending money which wasn't mine. Fortunately I came to my senses before any lasting damage was done and I was not faced with crippling debts.

2. Like Elfie again, self-exclusion helped but there were always new sites to open, so for me too blocking software was my saviour.

It also acts as a psychological barrier too - just knowing it's there is enough for me.

I know this can be a problem where phones are used for gambling but as I have a basic one, a model just up from two cocoa tins and a piece of string, this works for me.

If you do use a phone for gambling and you can bear to give it up, I'd advise getting the simplest PAYG model.

Thank you again Mr B for your kind words, and yes, I must try to meet up with you in the future - I shall start oiling my Zimmer frame in readiness.

Checking in on my Day 134 and sending best wishes and congratulations to all fellow-soldiers.

Joanna

re. my item 1 above - I don't want to appear smug about my lack of large debt; it's just that as I'm retired I do not have a monthly salary to lose or the wherewithal for payday loans. In other circumstances I may well have finished up with a very large debt and I have an everlasting admiration for all fellow-soldiers who have faced such mountains and are conquering them.

Joanna

Hi everyone..checking in on day 16 since my relapse..like baggins i too started off with online bingo a few years back..won decent amount..withdrew, then i would deposit more money into the online casinos and when i didnt win on them i started chasing my losses in a panic state..didnt help at all..and like baggins i am living in the overdraft borrowing money to go grocery shopping, pay bills and even to pay for a decent birthday party for my kid at the end of this month but at the end of the day..the longer i stay away from gambling the more money i will have to provide not only for myself but for my family as well and sure it will take some time to get out of the overdraft but it will happen 🙂 we all come out as a winner if we stop 😀

Checking in for this week.

Haven't added up the days because I can't think at the moment!

Still clean, hard point this week was the football game yesterday, knew Germany would win and although I never was one for football bets felt an incredible urge to do it. Resisted but it was hard. Have to keep the demons at bay.....

Hope you are all managing.

Check in time. I'm on day 28 so far ... 🙂