2014 Challenge

day 10 report in

so far so good but its hard

so so so hard

well done everyone

keep fighting the good fight

battle battle battle

Wow Mr B another superb update. You have just got through a challenging week and by doing so passed a huge test. Our low points are when we are most vulnerable and you have remained strong.

Our families have been hurt so bad when we gambled, for me after 17 years of gambling my family is about all I have left. Its a great call to make our families the heroes of the week. I have hurt my mum so much over the years and I never want her to see me gambling again. She handles my finances so if I ever slipped up she would know and would be devastated. But I'm strong now and I won't slip up.

Its under two weeks till the Grand National, its going to test some of us. The adverts on tv, radio and the press are already starting. I hope nobody slips up at this point, I intend to avoid it as much as possible and certainly won't be taking part in any sweeps at work. I think my love of racing stems from my yearly bet as a child on the Grand National. From the age of 6 I can remember my dad putting a couple of quid on it for me. Lots of people see it as harmless fun but for us problem gamblers its a dangerous way back in. I hope everyone stays clear of it and if horses is your problem then maybe now's a good time to start planning ways of coping during that time.

Its great to be part of this and see so many amazing stories and to have formed a strong group of friends determined to fight together and progress together! Keep up the good work everybody and I look forward to meeting you in Jan 2015.

Just a check in On Day seven of no gambling. I told my girlfriend this week-end and offered her the way out of our relationship. This is about the sixth time I have had to own up to her, the last time was 15 months ago. I can say I have never felt so bad in my life, she is a decent honest hard-working woman who thought she had found her Mr Right second time around. I'm not sure where we will go from here, we do not live together have had a commuting relationship for six years, I think she needs to move on. Until I can drag myself out of this awful depression from reaching the end of my gambling life (I can no longer chase my gambling losses - financially not possible) and the impounding and doubling depression of confessing to her and maybe/maybe not the end of our relationship I feel I am no good for her or me. Such a sad black Monday morning, if last week wasn't bad enough this week ................... Soz guys had to let my feelings out to someone ..............

Spaingone its in your hands mate. If you can continue to refrain from gambling you will become the man she always wanted. I never thought I would be able to last as long as I have but I'm still here and I'm not going back to my old ways. Theres no quick fix to your situation, but as the days mount every aspect of your life will get better. I used to feel helpless and unable to stop, this challenge has shown me there is another way. Keep up the good work and try to find some positives rather than focussing on negatives.

Checking in, day 4 after a mini relapse after 10 days but this is it this time!

have a great week people!

Steve

Spaingone my heart goes out to you! Hopefully this is you now turning your life around for good!

I am on day 3 of nothing now. Sounds pathetic because I woke up this morning fuming with myself because I couldn't get into any of my websites as I've done self exclusion or a 'cool off' period! >.< the worst thing at the minute is the act grand national weekend is coming and I KNOW I will *** and end up in the bookies. I always do without fail. Knowing I was quitting it all and taking part in this challenge saw me put all the bets on for the actual national already. Of course I regret it. But I haven't spent a penny since and I'm trying my best to stay strong about it!!

Good luck to the rest of you, you are all doing so well and I look upto all of you! 🙂 x

I'm going to try to quit. i will try to check in here on a daily basis for help and support as i try to quit. I'm going to try to quit. I know i can beat this thing. I know i can. Day one-i look forward to being here on a daily basis. Disco

its possible to get over this addiction

so many soldiers on here seem to be doing so well and many more besides

what ive learnt is this problem doesn't just go away i need to work at it and keep working at it

keep going everyone

Great idea, Disco, you can do this, day by day, like we all do. If you get urges, logging in and reading some diaries can often help put you off acting upon those urges.

Spain, I really feel for you and hope the depression lifts soon. It's good you can no longer chase the losses because that is the path to even more misery and destruction. Be gentle with yourself while you go through withdrawal from gambling, the first few weeks may be difficult but you can remind yourself you are doing it for a good reason, ie your financial future and your own wellbeing. We all have to make the decision not to gamble day by day, but as we go along all sorts of things improve, like just generally feeling better, taking more interest in other things, starting to really enjoy life again. Go easy on yourself in these early stages.

Checking in early on Day 22 for me.

Spaingone: hope the sun is shining where you are - try to get out in the fresh air and take some deep breaths. The only way is up from now on - and I think your partner (whether ex or not) will soon see a difference in you. My husband's favourite saying is: "Deeds, not words" and I am certainly trying to live by that now.

Disco: Keep at it - one day at a time. Best wishes to you on your journey.

Joanna

check in 11 days

11 short days

walking the path

11 days

Hi mr b, another great update and I cannot thank you enough for your input you make for us.

Thank you so much

LG

Checking in 58 days clean but oh so tempted to check out and carry on gambling even though I know it always ends badly.

I think its the current situation im in where I'm studying for exams (exams I am retaking due to failing last time, possibly because of the gambling distraction). Its just so boring sitting on your own trying to learn something with thoughts of financial issue in the back of my mind.

Sorry for random post just had to come on here and clear my feelings. Enjoy a gamble free week everyone, thanks again Mr B on the update.

I'm going to start posting in here regularly. I just can't seem to quit, I'm lucky to go more than a week without capitulating. I gambled away my money for the week today and therefore had no money for food all day. Why do I starve myself to fuel a habit that is slowly killing me.

Anyway, hopefully this thread inspires me, and my agony can finally be extinguished. I hate the person I have become. There was a thread elsewhere that mentioned not feeling any empathy. I can relate to that so much, I feel like an empty vessel. Things happen to me, for example, I was in a car crash a few months ago, and as it was happening I didn't care about the consequences, as I knew my life was a misery and this wasn't possibly going to make me feel any worse than I already did.

Its time to get my head straight, and rid myself of this constant weight on my shoulders. Good luck to eveyone else in a similar position to myself. Hopefully we can all work through it.

Evening folks,

It's been a bit of a day all round I think - sounds like a number of us are having tough times at work, at home, at study and just in general.......it's that dangerous week where we all need to stay strong and together.

Welcome to NotHappy and Disco - we'd be delighted to have you join the team and hopefully via regular posting and investing in the team you folks will begin to see that recovery is possible. I've put an ask of both of you on page 1 of the thread.........would be more than happy to add you on Sunday - all the best to you both in whatever you decide.

I have thought long and hard about one of the posts today and what I do with it in relation to the challenge, the members of the team........and the collective responsibility we have to each other when we stand together in recovery. I will never profess to be the decision maker in this team but I have a responsibility to uphold what I believe is right in the interests of the group and my team mates.......and when I shuffle in my seat about something it generally means I'm uncomfortable with it. If I make a wrong call then I expect the rest of the team to P***k my conscience......and hope I have the humility to accept that I am wrong, or may have interpreted something wrongly.

Aimzlfc, I am really pleased that you have shown an interest in the challenge and would genuinely be made up to add you to the group. The aim of the challenge is for a group to support individuals and individuals to support a group. I'd never want to write anything on the forum that could be seen by the individual I am writing to to demotivate them.......that's the last thing I intend. However, I find it confusing that you would place bets and stakes for future events knowing that you would then be joining the challenge.........sorry, but I really struggle with it as a concept. With this in mind I won't add you to the group this Sunday, but would encourage you to keep posting, keep reading this thread and on Sunday April 6th, with you making the check ins and stuff required of all members of the team I will add you as a soldier with 1 day free of gambling. I know you may not have staked a bet for a fortnight by then, but I still think the hope of a win, the potential thrill of the bet and the possible despair at a loss are all tantamount to gambling. What I do really appreciate is the honesty of your post. I hope you and the rest of the group are ok with this.

The_Rock - sad news today on the departure of BD - what's your thoughts on it?

I'm Mr Brightside.........checking in on Day 106.

Be good everyone!!