2014 Challenge

Checking in on day 54.will be 8 weeks gamble free on sunday! Im off work this week.glad of the break.im feeling good and positive frame of mind.boredom has been a trigger for me before so guard up this week and stay focused and learn from the past.

Keep strong those who have had a tough week.Giving up is a learning curve and you learn a little bit more every time about yourself.keep fighting.we will all get there in the end!

To luckygirl and rst18, I feel for you both. My own relapse is close enough in my mind for me to vividly recall the feelings you describe. I can only echo Scrambling; blocks, blocks, blocks!

Today was another tough one for me and I've waited till bedtime before checking in just to make sure I got here gamble free. Day 35 is done and dusted; tomorrow here I come!

HI all,

Sorry to hear of a few relapses this week, dust yourselves down and get back in the wagon. Don't make it a binge let it be a one off.

I wish I was able to commit more time to my team mates but life is hectic just now, for that I apologise 🙁

Checking in 250 days GF (7pm tonight).

Del 🙂

Checking in on day 21, three weeks. Feels good

Thank you scrambling and half life for your support, and yes I have definitely learnt something from this relapse and what triggers my gambling thoughts. Hopefully this will help in my ongoing recovery.

Half life I know you are the other side of this addiction but I must say I always read the friends and family forum as this helps me to understand the destruction this addiction causes.

I am really low at the moment and do not seem to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel which until this week was becoming forever brighter. But I also know that it will get brighter as my journey begins again.

Take care everyone and keep strong.

LG x

Morning everyone

15 hours to check in deadline and, like Del, an apology to everyone that I've not been on much this week - life has been pretty demanding.

Lots to say I guess with the activity, and lack of activity, on the challenge this week - seems like we're all having our tough times in different ways just now.

This challenge is about celebrating victories as well as supporting one another.......it's the celebrating that makes it worthwhile........

Del - I've been looking forward to today all week for you - if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times - you are the daddy!! Congratulations mate!! 250 days is yet another new milestone you've set for the group!!

NH71 - 50 days this week!! Awesome!!

Luckygirl and RST18 - I'm not going to talk about lapses......I'm going to talk about recovery. What's done is done......the important thing for me is that you are both here and are sufficiently committed to the group, and courageous enough to be sharing your journey with us. In a bizarre way, there's a reason to celebrate in there - I'm still proud to be fighting this fight with you........even more now than I was before reading your posts this week. Polish your boots and your milestone medals........and get marching again with your heads held high.

Have a good Saturday everyone and I'll have the Easter update on tomorrow by lunchtime hopefully!!

Mr Brightside

Was it something I said??

In the absence of a few check ins tonight it's going to be a rough week. C'mon folks!! Rock, Craig, Lou et al - in the words of Delia Smith......."let's be having youuuuuu"!!! Hopes she's crying in her cooking tomorrow though!!

Mr Brightside

Hi All

Checking in after another gamble free week. A lot of stuff going on and long hours worked before a 10 day holiday from 29th April so not been able to update my forum. But....still going strong and determined to get to 30 days (on 24 now).

Craig

Hi just checking in...slipped up again was 12 days clean becoming interested in other things, broadening out going to gym etc & then bam! slipped up fri & sat (today). Made the mistake 2 days earlier of picking out horses 'for fun' then checking to see whether they'd won or not, on fri picked 3 consecutive winners (didnt back them) this encouraged me to gamble that eve on poker / live casino. won, down, won again got money back & more, switched PC off then turned it on later lost everything. Backed a horse on sat to try to get my fri losses back finished 2nd. Oh well that's it for me keep banging my head against a brick wall i'm done with gambling. Keep getting to two weeks clean or so then relapsing. No more 'hypothetical' bets or anything for me from now on, or checking odds etc, not harmless they lead to eventual action; the gambling world doesn't exist for me. Easter Sunday tomorrow is a good benchmark for day 1. I cannot win because I cannot stop; I know I should when i've won but i can't, i lose control. Even if i do stop i'm back on hours later. No end to it. Fortunately no debts some small savings recovering alcoholic & no drink for about 6 weeks or so now. If i can stop that then i can stop gambling as well. Stopping smoking on my conscience too.

So day 1 easter sun hope to report back next sat eve 7 days clean.

Maybe theres a lot of people away for easter.its very quiet :-/

Day 123 and I'm still up and down at the moment. Only real positive is that I've not slipped up, but it's been hard going! I find myself at a pretty low point and am dealing with it pretty badly by shutting myself away. I am working hard to snap out of this but it's not easy.

On top of feeling pretty stressed and low I just don't believe the situation I'm in with work. We have a new member of our team and all he does is talk about gambling despite me telling him time and time again that I'm not interested. He has just text me and asked me to meet him at the casino. I've told him I have a problem and can't ever gamble again but he doesn't give up. On top of this a new girl who I have to deal with daily trains and races greyhounds and is handing tips out regularly.

This is a very testing time for me and a serious low point, but when I'm through this and feeling more like my usual self I will be stronger for it. I will not be beat.

Hope everyone's doing well and I'm sorry for being pretty quiet this past two weeks!

Just back from the pub and thought I'd cone on see if many had checked in for the week. Looks like we at our lowest check in numbers since I started this challenge. Hope everyone has kept themselves safe this week and its a case of being to busy with Easter that's cased them to miss a check in.

If any of yous are reading this and have had a minor slip up don't be afraid to say it. I'm sure majority of us have been in the same position and we all here to help each other out when this happens. Hopefully we have a all yous back with us next week and are joined together in the battle against this terrible disease that is gambling

Hi all, happy easter

I am also concerned by the lack of check-ins this week, however it is easter and I am hoping everybody has just been very busy. I have faith in the team to have stayed clean, so get checking in! 🙂

Scambling

Easter Sunday - 20th April 2014

Good morning everyone……..Happy Easter!!

I’m going to do something differently this weekend. I’m going to give some headlines and a count of sorts, but it won’t be a standard update, for a number of reasons. I am hoping beyond hope, as mentioned by ringerbell and scambling, that there’s a lot of people away for the Easter holiday, or have been too busy to check in. I am going to remain positive though………..

Easter is a time of hope. For believers of the story all those years ago, it still carries the same hope and victory for us today. We have all recognised that we are fighting an unseen enemy that would try to destroy us. We have also recognised the importance of standing together in an army as we fight this enemy. This Easter morning brings us the hope and assurance that we do not fight alone. Fellow soldiers……..we have the victory, we are winners and we can continue to march together into every battle knowing that the war is ours to win. Easter heralded a new start………..our abstinence and recovery is exactly that…………..it is a new start, with a new finish and the power to overcome all things in between. Let’s embrace every individual and collective victory and walk together into a new life……….it is a life worth living.

Here are the very high level headlines……….

It’s been a rough week for the group and while I’ve updated the various spreadsheets I’m not going to close them off this week. I’m going to wait until next Sunday and extend the overall check in until then. For those of us who have checked in, we’ll need to follow the rules and check in again before next Sunday. There will be 37 of us that I’m looking for a check in from, plus any new members that come along in that time. For those of us currently checked in, we have just over 1700 days between us, totalling an amazing 4.5 years. Our retention on a standard week would have come in at 67%, which represents 23 of 34 who started the week checking in.

We’ve got 2 new members in the group - Pinky and Wolfgang - welcome folks and really glad you’ve found us! Hope this really helps you in your recovery journey - don’t forget to make regular check ins!

We’ve had 3 lapses in the week, 2 from established team members with a lot of days under their belts. I said in a post yesterday that I’m even prouder to be walking with these guys and I feel even more strongly about that today. There is a power behind this challenge that despite a lapse, people have a feeling of belonging and are motivated to come back on to the thread and share their disappointments, to learn, re-commit and want to fight alongside the rest of us.

There seems to be an approximate number of days somewhere between 80 and 120 that turns the excitement of doing really well in recovery into something quite different. Maybe it’s the phase of recovery where we typically realise that this is an even tougher slog than we thought, thoughts of gambling have turned into regret, elements of depression and a general state of beating ourselves up……….inevitably, this then leads to us seeking comfort in something………typically the thing that gave us the escape in the first place and the one thing that we all know is not the answer. I’m honestly not sure what triggers it in me………but what I do know is that it is my choice not to gamble when the urges come about and that the responsibility for continuing to abstain sits squarely on my shoulders. What I do have as a crutch though is this forum and the amazing people on it.

Davey - sorry for calling you out Sir……..2 lapses in a month is tough going. I think you need to review a few things……….you are dealing with a heck of a lot just now in terms of the varying addictions. Really well done on releasing yourself from the first one, but try not to take on too much in stopping everything at the same time - give yourself a break. It’s maybe a case of the quality of recovery in certain areas rather than the quantity……..which seems to be diluting the quality and focus on the priorities. Maybe set yourself milestone dates for stopping each thing, ie. Stopping gambling now and then attempt the cigarettes in a few months once you’ve got a decent way into your other journeys. I think you also need to think really carefully about the gambling “blockers” you have in place - have you self excluded from online and stores, have you free access to money, software for your PC etc. If there is something that you can think of that you have not done to stop, then you have not done enough.

That’s all for this week everyone……..I’m sincerely hoping that next week’s check ins will be one filled with great news about ongoing recovery, wonderful Easter holidays and the continuing joy that freedom from gambling brings. One way or another the update next week will celebrate the victories of the soldiers who are still marching - I am Mr Brightside, I will be one of those soldiers who will be continuing to march next week and I will be proud to be on the road to recovery with whoever is shoulder to shoulder with me.

The front page is updated with all the people who are in the group for the extended check in through to midnight next Saturday night into Sunday.

Have a great Easter Weekend everyone and God Bless.

Mr B.

Hi Mr B, all...Check in Day 44 for me, will be 51 days (second time) by next Sunday. Happy Holidays!