Last shout for any missing soldiers, please get checked in, there are too many of you missing!!!
Welcome to mjb4000, I have checked you in and added you to the front page!
Hi All, already posted my check in. But sitting here wanting to bet. Don't know why? Everything's good. Sounds strange but have had some counselling and as weird as it sounds I seem to crave the lows. 1 month gamble free has been a big thing today for me and the wife. Makes me realise that its an hour by hour focus. This challenge really helps and although I haven't slipped I feel like I have let my family down because the urge is so strong tonight. This is the hardest time of the last 31 days and posting now is keeping me focused. Thanks
Stay strong qprloc12 mate, you have done so well for 31 days and once that urge goes past you can focus on 28 days in February. We know how it ends if we have that first bet, don't put yourself or your wife through it. Remember there a telephone list available if you ever need to talk to a fellow soldier.
Hi Phil, thanks for the support. I think ill check in again tomorrow if that's ok. Up in the early hours with my son watching the cricket. It would b so much easier if we were a family that didn't love sport. Thanks again this challenge really helps
Hi I'd like to join the challenge by the end of which I hope I am no longer down and out. My name is Rob and I have just blown January 's wages. I have been gambling over 20 years. Not every month and not always fatally but I have had very bad patches. The last couple of months have been hideous and compulsive culminating in yesterday when I hit the roulette on my phone after sports betting on obscure tennis matches and handball all day at work (handball!!!). I got home very late having sat in my car for hours with that horrible feeling of not wanting to go to bed and wake up with the realisation I had blown all my salary. So I woke up and am trying to get through the day. I know that I have let everyone down. My g/f is very accept and I don't know how I will pay what I need to. I have been in this position before and want to stop for good. I know for the moment I am ok because I am broke. I will need to be careful when the self loathing starts to wear off and I have some money. For now I am just ashamed and thinking of how to get through the month. I have spent hours looking through all the posts and have found them to be really helpful and comforting. It does help when you see people going through the same things who want to recover and help others to recover. Thanks.
Checking in day 62, plodding along up days and down days
Cheryl
Checking in on day 318
Challenge Update Week 5
Introduction
Congratulations troops, January is gone, I have sensed a different atmosphere this past week and know it’s been a struggle for some of you. So for those of you who have made it through the month gamble free, I’m proud of you! For those who have slipped or fallen, this place is still open to you, we are all a work in progress and we have 11 months left to make the magic happen. 87 soldiers have been part of this challenge and there are 65 safely checked in for this week. There are 6 soldiers who didn’t check in this week, three are new and joined last week, three are long standing soldiers so just for this week I have checked in on their behalf as I believe they are still going strong and have simply forgotten. I think from now on anyone who has been here for at least four weeks and misses a week I will check in on their behalf just the once, after this it’s up to you to get back into a weekly routine of checking in. For anyone new this place is open to you, but it is disappointing that three new soldiers have gone missing in their second week on here. To be a member here needs that commitment, it’s not something you can take or leave!
One thing that’s stood out this past week is the amazing support that we have for each other. There have been a couple of slips and some soldiers feeling the urges hard, but every time a soldier in need has posted there’s always been someone there to give useful advice or support. We are clearly in this together and after marching through January as one, we can do it again in February. Keep making the choices not to gamble and month by month you will reap the rewards.
What does it take for us to beat this addiction?
We all have different techniques to cope with our addiction, so this week I want you to include in your check ins what works for you and what hasn’t worked for you. What barriers do you use and what are the three biggest tips you would give to someone trying to give up. I have found an interesting article about giving up gambling which I will post below, it is American so some of it might not be relevant but it’s an interesting read in light of the question above. I can’t say I agree with it all, but it’s something to think about. The article is taken from a website called addictiontreatmentmagazine.com
Make no mistake about it. Overcoming a gambling addiction is tough work. If it were as simple as just walking away from the casinos, slots, sports betting, track or card games, there’d be a lot fewer problem and compulsive gamblers in the U.S. – and around the world, for that matter. You’ve probably tried cutting down or even stopping already, with predictable results. In no time at all – sometimes just hours – you’re right back at it. So, what does it really take to beat your gambling addiction?
Two Basic Requirements
It’s quite simple, really, when you get to the essence of what it takes to quit a gambling addiction. The problem or compulsive gambler first has to genuinely want to quit gambling. That’s easier said than done. Many problem gamblers go for years without coming to that realization. When and if they do, it’s often only a fleeting desire and not compelling enough for them to take action. That’s the second basic requirement to quitting gambling: you have to go through the difficult work it will take to overcome your addiction. Oh, the excuses quickly come up here.
• “I don’t have the time. I can’t take off work.”
• “I don’t really have that big a problem.”
• “I can quit anytime I want.”
• “My gambling isn’t hurting anyone.”
• “What I do is my own business.”
• “I don’t need shrinks prying into my affairs.”
• “No way am I going to some rehab clinic filled with addicts.”
• “I don’t have the money to pay for treatment and my insurance won’t cover it.”
There are many more lame reasons people tell themselves and others about why they can’t or won’t go into treatment to overcome their gambling addiction. Maybe you’ve even used one or more of these. The point is, until you are ready to say honestly to yourself that you genuinely want to quit gambling forever and you’re willing to do whatever work it takes to do so, you’ll never overcome your addiction. Period.
That said, let’s assume that you do now have the two basic requirements. What next? What’s really entailed in quitting gambling addiction? What are the kinds of things that you have to do and that have to change in your life for your recovery to be successful?
Get Rid Of These Assumptions
This won’t be easy to accept. Some popular assumptions about gambling are merely traps. By buying into them, you’re only defeating your ultimate goal – to quit gambling.
• Willpower isn’t enough – Many well-meaning self-help gurus may tell you that with strength of willpower, anything is possible. For a problem or compulsive gambler, willpower may only last until the next urge pops into their mind – and won’t leave. Tell a starving man that willpower will make the hunger go away and see how good that does. Same principle applies with the gambling addict. You can’t tell yourself that you’re strong enough to stay away from gambling and expect that it will do anything other than reinforce your feelings of worthlessness, remorse, guilt and shame when you go right back to gambling.
• You can’t manage your gambling – Another assumption gambling addicts and problem gamblers make is that they can somehow manage their gambling. The person may say they’ll only gamble on every other day, or once a week, or limit themselves to a specific amount of money or block of time. The truth is that any gambling at all is like pouring gasoline on a flame. Once it starts, it’s not going to stop anytime soon. The problem gambler and the gambling addict have long since passed the point of turning their back on the tables. Their compulsion to gamble has taken over their lives, often to the point of complete ruin – financial, family relationships, social, loss of job/home/personal possessions, physical, psychological and legal. There isn’t any managing of gambling possible for the gambling addict.
• You’re not sick – While opinions are divided on whether or not addiction is a disease, get out of the mindset that you’re sick. You’re not dying of cancer – that’s a disease. Gambling addiction is a type of impulse-control disorder – and it’s completely treatable. People who look upon themselves as sick have a built-in excuse: “It’s not my fault. I can’t help it.” Ditch that assumption right now. It won’t do you any good, and will probably derail your efforts to overcome your gambling addiction.
What You Need To Do To Quit Gambling
The following strategies, techniques and beliefs are essential to successfully overcoming your gambling addiction. You learn them and incorporate them into your life through counseling, treatment, behavioral therapy, support meetings – and practice.
• Take back the power in your life – You’ve relinquished power to your gambling addiction. Through treatment, you will learn how to take back the power to make your own decisions, instead of having your addiction control you.
• Learn how to deal with stress – For many gambling addicts, the only way to deal with stress is to escape through gambling. Learn effective techniques to minimize everyday stress and how to cope with unavoidable stress when it occurs.
• Stop labeling yourself an addict – Negative labels are self-perpetuating. Yes, you have an addiction, but you are doing something constructive about it. Learn to think of yourself in recovery.
• Envision a future full of possibilities – free of an addictive lifestyle – Everyone needs to have goals, something they strive for. Learn to envision your life free of addictions, a life that is full of possibilities.
• Mend relationships – Often problem and compulsive gamblers have hurt those they love most, family members and close friends. It’s time to repair that rift, and rebuild close relationships. Remember that those who love and care about you want you to be part of their lives again. Work on making that happen.
• Find a deep life purpose – Why are you here? What deeper purpose does your life hold? Through envisioning, meditation, counseling and discussion you will discover what truly holds meaning for you. This will serve as a foundation upon which to build your future. Reconnect to your values – or form new ones.
• Change your mindset – Learn to stop thinking that you’re doomed to forever be a gambling addict, or that it’s too late to change. Instead, learn to recognize the positive attributes that you possess and work on developing and fostering them.
• Use your mind’s power – Give yourself credit – and that means using the power of your mind to help you work through often contradictory emotions and thoughts. Biofeedback and cognitive behavioral therapy will help you channel your energies in the right direction. This will help you remain on track with your goals.
• No more lying – This simple practice has to become embedded. You must learn to tell the truth in all situations. Practice being truthful – and this will be difficult for gambling addicts so used to telling falsehoods. Start with small things like if you’re hungry or thirsty or if you want to discuss a certain topic or not. The more you tell the truth, the easier it will become.
• Be in control – Related to taking back the power, being in control means that you make this an inner belief. Learn self-management techniques.
• Understand why you’ve been stuck – What caused you to begin gambling in the first place? What perpetuated the habit until it became an addiction. Once you’ve identified the reasons, you will learn new behaviors to change your life.
• Quash your urge to gamble – This is critical to your successful recovery, as urges and cravings will pop up at every opportunity. You will learn tried-and-true techniques to quash these urges.
• Rebuild your self-esteem – Gambling addicts have extremely low self-esteem. Through counseling, discussions, lectures, group exercises, meditation and other therapies you will rebuild your sense of self – self-confidence and self-esteem.
• Eliminate guilt, shame and deprivation – All these are negative constructs that have no place in your life in recovery. You will learn to recognize them when they seek to take over your mind and how to banish them forever.
• Learn to manage your money – Maybe you’ve left a swath of financial ruin in your wake. Perhaps you’ve lost everything – including home and personal possessions. You probably owe a great deal of money to many creditors, including personal loans from family and friends. You will learn how to manage your money and put your finances back on track through practical techniques.
• Identify bad habits – and learn how to change them – Habits are rooted in repetitive behavior. Not all habits are bad, and you will learn to differentiate between the bad and the good. Time to ditch your old bad habits and replace them with constructive new ones.
• Take responsibility for your problems – Being honest and in control of your circumstances means that you take full responsibility for your problems – all of them, not just your gambling addiction. Once you take ownership of your problems, you can work on solving them.
• Learn to live on your own terms – free of dependencies – You may not be able to see this as a reality until you are many months past treatment and into recovery. But it is a goal to strive for. In fact, you probably can’t even imagine being free of your gambling addiction. You will, if you choose to keep to the two basic requirements: sincerely want to quit gambling and do whatever hard work it takes to make that happen. In fact, related to bad habits are other dependencies that you may also choose to relinquish – such as drinking, smoking, overeating, etc.
• Look at recovery a rewarding and exciting – A future of limitless possibilities, a regained sense of self-esteem and self-confidence, fully in control, accepting of responsibilities, loving and close relationships – and the ability to pursue your dreams – these are what you have to look forward to in recovery. In short, your life in recovery will be every bit as rewarding and exciting as you want it to be. Remember, you are in control of your life. Make it what you truly want.
In summary, what does it take to beat your gambling addiction? The answer is: all of the above. And, yes you can do it. So, if you’re ready, why not start now?
Milestones in the coming and past week
brutus123C and bornagain will reach ten weeks next Sunday. elchipper will hit ten weeks on Tuesday, top work troops!!!
mac09, pellekanin, PennyToStart, Markb117, gingermotty, Better Life and blue in the red will all hit 50 days in the coming week, brilliant for so many of you to be making such fantastic progress!!!
matty21 has hit 50 days today, well done Matty!!!
Garyl1976 smashed through 300 days last week, amazing work!!!
Glads Dad has hit 70 days today, ten weeks freedom, well done!!!
egfr will celebrate three months free on Wednesday, top work soldier!!!
mba became a member of the 100 club last week, well done on bringing up three figures!!!
I Wished passed 9 months last week and will hit 40 weeks on Monday, well done Suzanne!!!
RST.Ex-CG hits 140 days today, twenty weeks free from gambling, fantastic achievement!!!
Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!
Please double check your count and if I am a few days out let me know! Now for the grand total of money saved this January taking each of our average losses at £50 per day we have collectively saved a massive…………£95650…………….. Well done troops that’s a good months work and we are winning the fight against the gambling organisations that used to empty our bank accounts.
Summing up
It’s been a brilliant start to the year, we march on with 65 troops and we have made huge amounts of progress. The foundations are in place for a successful year, we can all do it, the urges will come, but by fighting hard there’s so much more out there for all of us. Remember to include in this week’s check ins the three things that work best for you in your recovery. If you are in need of a talk you can email [email protected] or use the Wednesday night chatroom or simply post on here how you are feeling and someone will reply with some useful advice. January is gone, lets march through February together and make it another month we defeat!
Hi all,
Fantastic update thanks again for the time and effort you clearly put in to making the 2015 challenge a success for all of the troops.
Well done to all on the list no matter how large or the small your number is its a great effort you're making.
I have found the support and encouragement on here more helpful than I could have ever imagined and for that I am very grateful, you should all give yourself a pat on the back, good luck and keep up the good work all.
Scott
Yes fantastic update Phil, and very interesting read on the article you have posted, I think you are an amazing person to put so much time and effort into this challenge, and I know it is helping you with your resolve, as much as it is helping all us challengers/ soldiers.
Well done to everyone for getting through January a hard month indeed, the great thing about this challenge is if any of us slip at any time, we can just carry on because this challenge is part of our recovery and as long as stay with the challenge we are all fighting together, and not giving up and therefore supporting each other.
The barriers I have used since day 1 on here are the triangle, being totally honest with my OH and nearest family.
Writing on my diary every day (where possible) to check in on myself and make my choice for that day.
Taking one day at a time with everything that gambling issues gave me.
The triangle involved taking my laptop away, as that was my only gambling vice, not having any money on my card, taking my cash out of my account as soon as bills/debts were paid.
Taking responsibility for my debt, and setting up a realistic payment plan, that I can live with. It took the pressure of wanting to win money by gambling to pay debt off.
These have all helped me and have definitely changed my mindset to putting my recovery as number 1 priority.
What never worked for me was trying to give up secretly, still lying about my addiction, thinking I could do it on my own, having all the triangle there, laptop, money in bank, access to PD loans, and only trying half heartily, because I was still in denial, about how serious my addiction had become.
I tried and failed so many times in the last 18 months of my gambling period, but that was because everything was still in place, I had changed nothing and nothing changes if nothing changes,
Changes in our life are not always easy, and recovery is a challenge, but what an eye opening experience, we start to learn so much about ourselves, it does make it quite an amazing experience and one we should embrace, even through the highs and lows of it.
Well done to all the milestones thst were achieved last week and for the ones to come this week,
Checking in On day 279 and proud to be marching with everyone of you.
Suzanne x
thanks for the update phil
checking in this week 325 days
looking forward to seeing a few of you on wednesday night chatroom
tri
Hi my name is Leah I am 23 and a problem gambler. As soon as payday comes I spend all my disposable income for the month in 10mins hoping to cash in on a big win, I am on day 2 of no gambling because I have no money but as soon as the 26th comes I need to be strong and fight the urge!!
Hi Leah, welcome to the challenge. I'm currently in work but as soon as I finish I will add you to the front page and check you in for this week.
Thanks for all the feedback on this weeks update. You've got it in one Suzanne, they are some really good tips to stop gambling and following those will really help most of our newer soldiers!
good evening everyone. i'm on day 3 gf.
i have downloaded today onto my phone and the hudl that i was brought for christmas an app called secure teen. i know that it is aimed at parents keeping an eye on their teenagers, but whose to say a 40 year old can't use it!!
i have forwarded the link by email to my hubby, and he is going on and changing the password that was used to set it up as this is also the password to override the blocks. he will also be able to logon using his phone and the laptop to check in and see what i have been accessing on my phone and hudl. i already had blocks in place on the laptop but i got a new phone in october and the hudl for christmas and didn't think i needed to put blocks in place, that complacency thing yet again. if only i had put the blocks in place when i got the new electrics, but no looking back, time to look to the future and how bright it will be without gambling being in the picture.
so best wishes for the future everyone and remember to stay strong and together we can do it.
Hi All, just wanted to thank Phil for the support last night. Still gamble free and your post of support definitely helped. At my low point last night I was going to use my sons new phone to gamble on. Every other gadget in the house has parental controls and only my wife ha the password. Reminded her this morning to block his phone. Without the restrictions on our tablets etc I know I would have gambled. Just thankful I'm gamble free.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
