Hi all, Just joined the forum. Last night was a big turning point for me. I lost around £300 which is not bad compared to most night’s. For some reason I broke down afterwards. I have cried before but mainly in anger. This time it felt different. I was no longer angry, I was just so upset with what I have become. All Day every day gambling is on my mind. Since lockdown started I have lost around £12,000. It makes me sick thinking about it. Luckily I have not got into debt from gambling. I have been gambling for years. Started when I was around 15 on CSGO gambling sites for weapon skins. Gambled on my fathers online accounts before I turned 18. Opened my own accounts once I turned 18. In fact in my 18th birthday I lost all my birthday money. Around 10 months ago I told my mother about my gambling. She was rightfully angry and upset. I kind of played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t think my family understood the depth of my problem. They saw it as very immature behaviour. Anyway my mother helped me block myself from all online gambling and also banned from all casinos in the UK. I did stop after this for around 2-3 months. I felt fantastic. Like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can’t remember why I started again after these 3 months break but I did. The problem was I spent days thinking of ways to get around the online ban as I couldn’t set up any accounts due to myself being banned via GamStop. I have setup online gambling accounts in family members names without them knowing. I feel so bad about it but I had to get my fix somehow. I even managed to edit names on bank statements to make sure I got the accounts verified. Just goes to show how thoroughly they check when you sent your ID in. These are popular online casinos too, not shady ones. Anyway the past few months have just got completely out of control. I must break down on average about once a week just burst into tears thinking about how much money I have wasted. I’m 19 years old and all this money i have lost could have gone towards a d**n deposit for a house. Last night after losing the £300 something clicked. I broke down like never before but for some weird reason I actually felt good about it. I told myself that was it. I was going to stop for good. My family don’t know I started gambling again and I want to keep it that way. I am going to do everything in my power to put this behind me on my own. I woke up this morning and felt great. I’m not sure why but I feel like I did when I stopped for 3 months. I am just hoping that this will continue and I can look forward and never look back. I am sorry for such a long message. It has made me feel a lot better writing this out. Finally put everything into perspective.
10th July 2020. Hopefully the start to my recovery.
Hello mate, welcome to the forum.
The good news is a) you're not in debt and b) you're taking step to address the problem at a very early age.
I joined this forum around 22 years old in a similar position; bad problem but no bad consequences.
I went 100 days plus with no gambling and then let myself go ... fast forward 8 years and I'm £75,000 in debt having wasted pretty much every other penny of a decent salary.
As bad as it feels now it'll get better if you take steps to turn it around, and will only get worse if you don't.
Best of luck mate and I'll keep my eye out for you.
I know losing a large amount of money is hard to get your head around. It's the reason I took out loans and got myself in debt so believe me I understand.i was young too and now I'm 28 and only just stopping now- but alot more damage has been done. But what important is that you stop now before this escalates.
Your young enough to stop and change your life around and live a normal life in your 20s. Dont live your life a gambler , learn from your young mistakes and try to move forward. When you in your late 20s and you have flat deposit you'll look back at this life lesson and that's all itll be - a lesson not something that's ruined your 20s too.
Hi @Frankie77 can I just say you sound really intelligent and grown up! As a mother I know nothing, absolutely nothing would stop me from loving my children! If they were struggling with anything I would want to know so I could support my child! I think that if you sit down with mum and explain what’s been going on like you just have on this post, then she would want to help you and support you! The reason I’m saying this because you’ve self excluded before but found how to get around the exclusions, and while at the moment you’re feeling really positive and that is great, there may be times when something triggers and I worry that it may be too easy for you to just give in!!
I hope you do not feel disheartened by what I’m saying to you! Or that I’m being negative because you being on this forum is really a positive step!
You need a good support network around you, if you really don’t want to talk to mum & dad, do you have an aunt or uncle or friends you can trust to talk to if you needed to? In your post you said you break down regularly and that’s because you are in emotional and mental distress and could easily turn into more serious mental health issues if not dealt with! The thing I’ve found helpful is being open and honest with my partner and loved ones, the addiction will make you feel like you want to keep it to yourself and that isn’t helpful to your recovery process. It’s nothing to be ashamed off, your a young human being who’s been sucked into an addiction that is silent, has no physical outward signs, that can be pretty well covered up by a white lie here or there! The online casinos or any casino is designed to have the bright lights, fun graphics and obviously the chance to win big! The problem is you will never ever win against the big ceos of these companies!
You are so young and I feel really sad that you have to deal with this addiction, I know it from my own experience how I loathed myself, I felt pathetic and in the end the self harming thoughts I had! I’m 35 years old and it nearly finished me! Thank god I was caught out by my husband for the third time or I’d still be using every penny I had to feed my addiction!
You can do this! The fact you’re on this forum is proof that you know you need to change! It gets better, life will be so much better if you’re gamble free! I hope you think about what i said about your mum! She loves you, I’m sure if that and it would hurt her to know you’re going through this without her!
best wishes
jadie
Well done Frankie
You should feel good my friend you've got a good head on your shoulders for such a young age. If you stop now just think off a the money you'd stop yourself spending from now and for the future. The past is the past my friend we can't change that but we can make the future for our own. Just keep the feeling you've got today and keep that in your head. Good luck with the future and being gamble free
I totally agree @Kevthekev losses are gone unfortunately but you seen the money you save outweighs anything you would’ve spent or loss trying to get back past losses!
Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it. I am sorry to hear your story. I hope everything works out for you mate.
Hiya Frankie
As long as you can put everything you've got into being gamble free and change your life from here onwards then you won't get to my age just causing destruction and harm to everyone close to me I'm so ashamed off the person I allowed gambling to make me I'm disgusted and if you can change now my friend you'll save yourself and loved ones so much heart ache and destruction
Frankie I hope this message reaches you well.
I've been addicted since about 16 and I'm now 25. Just know if you don't stop now you will be wasting your time, energy and money for the next few years. Try and fill the void with something else, maybe something productive? Make some proactive changes to stop yourself having a quick bet (e.g self excluding, gambling blocks on cards and gamblock on your phone and digital devices). Please don't waste time like I have, you'll look back and wish you'd kicked it earlier. The good thing is you've realised you have a problem.
Good luck!
@frankie77 Wow. I think we are the same person. I'm 21 years old, basically the exact same story as you. Started with CSGO gambling because it was possible to gamble underage, moved onto fathers betting accounts. I've done everything. As a result of this I now have about ten thousand pounds of debt to my name which I am paying off. I came here when I was 19. I'm still here, and in a worst position then when I started. Please listen to advise given, this is a serious addiction, don't let it ruin your life before it has even begun! All the best
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