Are we bad people because of what we'll do to gamble?

Hi again .

I don't think our family and friends will ever truly understand why or How we can sink to such low levels , I believe that unless you suffer from addiction it's really hard to get your head around sometimes , I know I struggle myself sometimes looking back at the things I've done , so how the hell are they supposed to get it ? .

Maybe getting anyone who will look to have a couple of hours on here and read some of the stories form both sides may help ?.

Were all a bit Jekyll and Hyde when were gambling :((.

Hi,

I think that the behaviour us gambling addicts display is just part of the human makeup. We are all capable of terrible things given the right (or wrong) set of circumstances.

Cheers

I dont think we are inherently bad people as gamblers. Vunerable to the addiction and under a definate form of mind control, I dont know what I would have done next.

Maybe its the wrong question to define things in terms of good or bad. Our actions would be seen as bad behaviour by others but in recovery I have realised that I didnt really know what I was doing even though I was doing it.

If I consider that I was wasting all my food and rent money, I was in a desperate state. Ive heard stories of life savings being taken from a family tin and I can see the spiral of despair and destruction that gambling causes.

Ive borrowed from credit cards and taken new cards out with no real intention of paying them back .I bankrupted myself twice and realise I have been living a flat out lie for forty years at least. Ive lied to my parents and obtained money by deception. For years the gambling was funded by a large credit card balance as a way of riding the losses for a bit longer...its doesnt last forever though and soon becomes time to pay the piper

Who knows what the next stage down may have been. Perhaps if I had seen money in a work safe I may have started thinking I will just borrow it overnight.

I relate to what you are saying about being a good person. I think I am and Its very confusing. I never meant for gambling to take control and all the bad things that went with it. I didnt want to exhibit this bad behaviour but clearly I have and its like a bad dream.

With all these days in recovery, I cant believe it was actually me that put thousands of pound into a slot machine.

I understand addiction more now and theres more to be said about the Jeckyll and Hyde in all of us.

Best wishes

yes i think the same

I say to people I'm not a bad person I've made bad decisions.

I was truthful with my family in the end and I'm ashamed some of the things I done whilst gambling but by continuning to be truthful and committing myself to getting better they can see those bad decisions where made whilst gambling and out of character for me.

All the best

Conradnose

Some really interesting stuff here, thanks for replying everyone.

I guess as is said above, anyone can do something horrible/nasty/deceitful given an unfortunate set of cirumstances. I think for the ones we love, they just can't understand how we repeat these acts over and over.

Due to the Jeykl and Hyde characteristics we possess, that is why it is so important to take it 1 day at a time and realise that we are always capable of falling back into the trap.

So for today.. I will not lie and I will not gamble.

Thanks.

It's probably not helpful for others, or youself, to define you as a 'bad person'. That's a pretty broad, sweeping judgement which lacks any nuance.

But certainly the behaviour - some of the stuff we all do under addiction - is deeply wrong, lacking in any kind of morals, and causes immense and unecessary suffering to others. We need to be absolutely clear on this.

Don't worry too much about what others think. After all, it's this oversensitivity towards others' opinions which drives us to gamble in the first place. The fear of what others think is really a reflection on what we think of ourselves. We don't want people to see 'through us'.

But so long as you're doing taking positive steps to change and to right your wrongs, you can hold your head high. You're doing it for you. What others think becomes less important.

Louis

Yes I agree with cardhue as I hinted at in my first post. Its possibly the wrong angle in terms of a good or a bad person. Its does indeed lack any nuance in that broader context.

I understand why the general question arises though as we comes to terms with who we are and how we could have done such a thing. I understand that loved ones may think is he just a wrong un

I just thought oh how am I going to replace that money by the easiest route..easiest route for me was phoning some very loving and tolerant parents and pulling the wool over their eyes.

It must have sounded pathetic but I played on being unemployed and the money running out...simply the easiest thing to be doing rather than begging in the street or getting loans out.

I feel that if anything my gambling was a coded cry for help. I dont ever remember having any real feelings of wanting to screw people over if I lost. However credit cards (in the past) and the knowledge that loving parents would provide was definately a comfort or safety blanket to continue the gambling behaviour. Ive run tens of thousands up on credit cards with no real means of paying it back but Ive done work for charity and bought presents for people in hospices...so I can see how the confusion arises

I understand addiction more now and Im less judgemental. I still have very uneasy feelings about drug addicts stealing peoples possessions but was I any really any different in obtaining money by deception.

I like to think I have boundaries but if I had no easy source of back up money I dont know what I would have done

Best wishes to everyone on the forum