As much as I have been in complete denial for the past 6 months, and what started as a bit of entertainment has now made my life a living hell, crippling debt which I can not see an easy way out, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t though about something extreme to ease my pain, it’s funny, I never thought this would be me, when I started gambling it was just on the football, and it was weekly for the past 6 years, and as much as I lost, I could afford to lose, then..I discovered slots, had my first taste of a win, loved it, I’d withdraw only for it to be redeposited within the hour, it went from around 100 a month ( I could afford this as I very rarely go out and buy myself anything) to spending that within 30 minutes in one session, yesterday was the day where it all went wrong and to some aspect has helped me do what I am doing now, I had a decent win and it hit mu bank account and I was like “great keeps me going for a long January until the next payday” as soon I saw it, the first thing I did was go to the toilets at work and within 20 minutes 60£ had gone, I went home, and the rest went within the hour, so that comfort I had all disappears very quickly. My family is not close and I feel so alone, I don’t have any proper friends, I have “work mates” and I don’t have anyone to talk to, I need to try to fix myself so I can get my life back on track, my New Years resolution was to be at least 70% debt free by 2021, great start, but today is the start of hopefully willpower and so be happy and healthy, I have a beautiful girlfriend who I have neglected for the past 3 months because all I wanted to do was gamble on my phone! I kept telling myself that I would stick to one casino, exclude myself from the rest and put deposit limited on one, but all that did was make me open up another account on a different casino, there is no way I will stick to that, I’m in the process of using Gamstop but having trouble registering as I can not remember the answers to the questions they are asking me! Here is to the start of what I hope will be a new me, a gamble free me, and happier me! Thank you very much for reading my post!
Hi Conxyz and Welcome!
My best advice is that you tell somebody close now. Your girlfriend your mum and anybody close you trust.
The power of this addiction is immense and you have discovered the crystal meth of gambling called the slots.
Your recovery will be finding yourself again and searching your soul. I never thought I could get addicted to anything. This is an addiction that is so dangerous that it gets into people without them realising how addicted they are.
Put your plans aside about cleverly organising yourself out of this...it doesn't work like that. Tell someone and get ready to be living on an allowance for a long while as you do the cold turkey. Your mind will heal with proper help and support
Do you think I am being over dramatic? If so you have a lot to learn about this addiction.
You need a born again moment of true openness and honesty. This allows the strongest foundations to be built. Any secrets will not allow a strong base
You are a compulsive gambler. You need help and there is no shame in facing that
Concentrate on ending the gambling...debts can be rescheduled.
This is not just about willpower and keeping your fingers crossed...its about not being scared to take direct action...are you scared of telling your girlfriend or your parents...you shouldn't be. Its the humility serenity and pure relief to do what feels right.
What you should be scared of is keeping the worst addiction I know as a secret from people who deserve to know and can help you
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thank you for your reply!
this journey is not going to be easy, i know what it is that I must do, I no longer want to feel like I am letting everyone who I support down! Even after posting this original post, I broke down to the pressure again, I am so sick and tired of having swings in mood! I’ve learnt what my triggers are, and it’s pure boredom, then once I’m in the gambling hole, I’m there until I lose even more, chasing my losses!
having a smart phone is such a problem with how easy it is to access online gambling, I tried to register for gamstop but as I described I can not remember the answers to what they want, support recommends i contact clear score which I did, but once again I don’t know the answers what they want! So I am stuck.
Today, I signed up got Gamba , as much as I did not want to pay for it, when you think that the cost of a year plan (£25 P/y) to the fact I would lost 4x that within an hour is a no brainier, having had it installed I tested out its Capabilities, I could not access any gambling sites or apps, and I have no idea how to even remove my device from this, which I am glad about and I do not want to know, my only recommendation of this is that it would be good to “lock” this for a year or more, like self excluding from access.
i really do believe this software to be great, and I’m hoping really useful, to start a small goal, I would like to get through 2 pay days without gambling and hopefully at that point I will no longer crave, I know in my head that I will always lose, and need to focus on other aspects in my life, get healthy!
today I made 3 steps for change, 1, I removed myself from all gambling marketing emails, 2, I unsubscribed from all the casino streams I follow on YouTube, 3, I added gam an to my smart phone, all of which are a positive thing!
i appreciate your comments, I know this is not going to be easy!
today is now day 1 of being gamble free!
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