For the past year I have been saved from gambling disasters because I have controls and blocks in place. I literally cannot access my paycheck money for gambling because my wife has it locked up tight. I can't gamble, not because I have willpower but because I no longer have money to gamble with. However, a few days ago, I found a wad of money on the ground when I was walking to my car after a day's work. I picked it up and it was a hundred dollars! The gambling demon whispered in my ear , now it is possible for you to try 'controlled' gambling. Set a limit of $ 20. You know the dangers of gambling now, you can have fun and limit yourself and even if you lose you will still have $80 left. Well, of course I lost that $20. And then my mind snapped. I was completely obsessed with winning that $20 back. The most beautiful woman in the world could have walked up to me stark naked and said come with me to my hotel room, I want you now, and I would have said, sorry luv, I gotta win this money back. All my knowledge and self control and willpower were completely useless. I just couldn't stop till the entire $100 was lost. My only salvation is that my blocks prevented me from using some other way of getting more cash. If I didn't have my controls, I would be homeless right now.
I'm not entirely sure what point you are trying to make or what you want any on us to say ?
You are gambling , you lose money when you gamble controlled or not controlled it doesn't really make a difference
My point is that I never want to gamble again.
Good Evening Gerard,
I tried to quit gambling before when I convinced myself that I enjoyed it and enjoyed the buzz. That failed.
I tried to quit gambling but only during the week. That failed.
I tried to quit just roulette and could still gamble on football. That failed.
I tried to set a limit for gambling in terms of money. That failed.
I tried to set a limit on gambling in terms of time. That failed.
Now everyone is different, but for me I was only successful in stopping gambling when I admitted to myself that I had no control over gambling whatsoever. I had no control over my behaviours. I had no control over my moods, my level of anxiety and stress nor the amount of sleep I’d lose. I was beaten and I felt beat up. Once I realised this I quit. Not that I’d advise this but I didn’t even need to put amy blocks in place. I just stopped, started improving other areas of my life and noticed the difference in how I felt.
I don’t think problem gamblers can control gambling. Our lack of control is what made it a problem in the first place. Once I realised there was nothing to give up I gave up if that makes sense.
There was lots wrong with me. The gambling just masked that. I thought I was broken because I gambled. I likely gambled because I was broken.
I think half the battle is to convince yourself that gambling is awful. It takes your money, your time, your relationships, your sanity, your self pride and anything else it can take from you. Once you realise this you can quit.
I wish you well.
RR
I think I'm ready now to quit gambling because like you said you can try everything and nothing works> It is a paradox but the way to succeed at gambling is to admit defeat and stop altogether. From now on I'm just going to get on with life and as long as I don't make that first bet I will be alright. I know that once I start I can't stop so from now on I'm not going to start. thanks for your words of wisdom.
There is no such thing as controlled gambling for a GA. The addict part always overrides the 'control' eventually, so complete abstinence is the only way to avoid future pain. Any short terms gains by trying a new system and trying methods of control are completely futile. Took me 20 years to finally accept this.
Good luck and stay strong GG
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