Keeping my mind elsewhere

Hi I'm Eryk (21m) I have recently found out my addiction to gambling, but my hero was my partner for slapping my wrists for being an idiot and telling me to go look for help.

I'm not in a stage of a full on addict, but the addict of wanting that win and getting the money flowing. Ending up wasting money that was reserved for Bills. I understood that this is no more a fun get in, have a few rounds see if I lose or win. No matter what leave come back next time have fun again.

More of a, I lost I know I can regain it back. I did manage to regain it now and again, all money I've lost. But just few spins(I play roulette) and all money ive wasted and profit ive gained was gone. And there it goes again, putting more money.

This was my gateway of happiness when I was winning I was feeling fulfilled. Until I just lost everything. It is not as much as i have seen other people spent on things like this. However for my circumstances it was too much. My mum offered me help to pay everything off for me that I'm due which I'm very grateful for.

Now i cant find anymore hapiness. I feel sad and cant find much hope of anything as my "hobby" has been taken away from me, by myself. I'm glad I did this!

I have consulted this with my manager at work and been told to take few days off work as my performance was being very much affected and to try to get my mind straight. Problem is, I do get my mind away for little bit, when I'm with my girlfriend, or play little bit of games, watch movies, until I get this alone time(driving in a car for example). My mind just goes straight into how I fu my life, how I can try to go back and regain everything, which I know is very little chance of.

I dont know how to keep my mind away from it. Any help will be very much appreciated. It is horrible being an addict and spending all money that was for bills and stupid payday loans I have to go and gamble.