Hey all
Day 321....2 hiccups. I thought I was on the right road. My savings were increasing my debt had gone. I'd done the CBT course'course, and i had woeked hard and was so proud of myself. I had all blocks in place and a bank account that blocked all gambling transactions.
July the 8th rolls round. I open a account and decide I'll put my spending money in their and keep my bills in other account. BIG MISTAKE, HUGE!! I began to have urges, I did the usual, try and take my mind off things but it didn't work. This urge was ferrocious;!!! After I'd made the first deposit I knew I'd made a mistake. All that money id accumulated has now gone. You know how it goes, chase chase chase boom nothing.
Now I know I said it wouldn't be a pitty post which I'm not asking for sympathy because I can hear you saying it already, serves you right! Yes indeed it does I just needed to get my feelings down and hopefully hear some kind wise words from you.
I'm trying to be positive and optimistic it's just a blip but I'm such a deusche for even thinking I was going to get anywhere with it.
All that hard work up in smoke and now I feel more depressed than ever.
Xxxx
@ford2017 I just can't believe how easy it was to get around it. I'm going to do just that. I've also told my better half they're in charge of finances from now on. They're bitterly disappointed but understand what I'm going through. I'm so blessed to have a family. I don't want to loose everything.
I'm sorry you experienced what I did. Congratulations on 61 days ?
Xx
321 wow that’s impressive, longer than I’ve successfully done so far. Sorry to here about your relapse, but now you know you can do 321 days, so dust yourself down, try to forget about your loss and try and break your record of 321 days.
I've tried to see if you had posted before this relapse about how having this new account made you feel with your urges or if you had reached out for help or advice but I couldn't see anything.
Just restart your counter, learn what didn't work for you and get going again. Try to use the diary, if you have one, so that you are constantly reminded about yourself. Good or bad, it doesn't matter, but especially in the early days, if you have no where else to share your feelings, at least you'll always have a diary. Once those feelings are shared it helps take the power out of them.
Good luck to you.
Chris.
Thanks all ?
Hugs to you Spend.
do you know what triggered you, or was it just the account re-organisation
Hi
Yes you must tell people close and bring out all the big measures to beat this. The addiction will cower when it knows the fight is really on and your mind has a path to heal.
You need to be living on a small allowance..all other money must be protected. Its not about treating you like a baby. This is a drug addiction and its the strongest one I know about. ..it laughs at casual willpower but it wont laugh when you take serious steps to combat it.
You can never be complacent again for the rest of your life but you will find a peace of mind when the gambling stops.
There is no shame in telling people it got to you. Your mind will heal with the right support but you've got to give it a chance and that means blocks blocks, blocks while you do the cold turkey needed
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
@emmapoint yes literally just a bank account that didn't have any blocks on. Not like my main bank account. I feel such a fool @joydivider for being complacent as you say. Lesson learnt.
Xxx
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