Its been a while since I posted on here as I felt in control of my gambling again and I was nieve enough to think I didnt need to keep talking through everything repeating myself over n over again. Ive been doing tv and radio interviews over the last 8 months about my gambling story and how I npw fwpt in control again, problem was through all this I realised my relationship was actually my trigger... im married but for various reason including gambling its been on and off for years, my counsellor even wanted me to end things once and for all because they could see how being made to feel like nothing in a relationship was having an effect on me... so I started a diary writing down all my bets and on the days we was happy my betting didnt exist but on bad days it increased up to the point today I lost 100 off my bill money. I now feel like im making no progress in life... how can someone be such a big trigger in my life...
Hi brownie - You are wise to re-join the site as I am sure you will find a lot of good advice and support here. It is true that our gambling usually has an underlying cause, like most addictions. What starts off as a bit of fun with a 'buzz' involved can soon mask our feelings of loneliness, inadequacy, stress etc. Unfortunately we become dependent on the 'buzz' to the exclusion of logical thought and hey presto! we have a load more problems to add to those we already have.
Obviously I cannot advise you on your relationship - only to say that something needs to change. Hopefully by visiting this site regularly things might become clearer for you. I suspect that deep-down you know what you should do, but whatever it is will take some courage.
Best wishes to you for the journey.
Joanna
Thanks joanna your right ive known for a long long time what I should be doing but like you say it can be hard especially when paying debts off means we end up feeling skint and not good enough. Thanks for the reply.
All the best
Did you take your councillors advice and seperate? I ask because my fiancé thinks our relationship may be mine. I am sure it's not as I love her very much and she is very kind loving and caring. I truly don't want to end it. Did you manage to work through that part?
Sadly I wasnt able to work things out and since have decided to seperate, this was mainly because she doesnt show any support and doesnt talk to me no matter how much I open up, another bit of advice my counsellor gave me was try and get her to go to relate with me (which is a relationship counselling service) maybe you and your partner could try this? It could just be something your fiance does that sets you off and neuther off you realise it? If she is caring and supportive like you say then try relate and keep talking and be as open and honest with each other as you can be.
All the best
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