Trying to get things sorted but worried about whats next

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(@livingwithregret)
Posts: 10
Topic starter
 

Hi everyone

So ive not gambled for nearly 3 weeks i cant believe  got this far. My concern is as i am in the midst of sorting my finances out, theres so much to do, phone calls to make, forms to fill in, researching the outcomes ect, i am consumed with this at the moment and im worrying about what i will feel like once its all sorted (if it gets sorted) I will have that time on my hands again and so far i have been so busy ive managed to put it to the back of my mind. Im now fully registered with GAMSTOP, it took a while the verification wasnt an easy task, but so far i dont think its quite hit me that i will be unable to do what i really want to do. It wont be possible. I feel better in the mornings when im not waking up to that dread of what ive lost and im doing things i would never have made time for . I just think as ive had financial state to focus, thats the only reason ive got this far. All my own fault aswell so when im stressing out being on the ohone all day i feel i dont have the right to stress or moan as its all my own doing. Just needed to write this all down to you guys. I guess it helps. Im struggling with sleep and i also never have an appetite. No difference there as this was always the case when gambling. My poor partner, its just not fair on him. What will be next for me...

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 10:30 am
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(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5979
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Hi livingwithregret,

Well done for being gamble free for 3 weeks.  It sounds like you have been busy registering with Gamstop and getting your finances in order.  It is good that you are noticing some of the benefits of being gamble free with more time for things that previously you didn't do and not waking up in dread thinking about gambling losses.  I hear that you are concerned about how you will manage now that the immediate issues of blocking yourself and sorting out your fiances have been done.  This is not an uncommon experience and it is good that you are aware.  You might find it helpful to spend some time thinking about how you would like to be spending the time you now have.  It might be time to take up an old or new hobby, catch up with family or volunteer somewhere.  If you would like to talk about what you might like to do next please call the 24/7 helpline on 0808 8020 133.

Best Wishes

Clare

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 22nd July 2020 9:34 pm
(@livingwithregret)
Posts: 10
Topic starter
 

Makes me realise...my insecurites are back and back bad. When spinning you forget, forget all thats going on untill uve ran out of cash. Maybe i was masking, or trying too. Feel like complete s**t need to sort my head out ?

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 7:50 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hi livingwithregret you sound overwhelmed with everything. Are you getting any other help? Counselling can help sort out your thoughts feelings and give you some perspective on things. I think as well a few weeks after stopping it sort of feels dull, and tomorrow no gambling no buzz and oh the same the day after .......But it all starts to even out you start to feel more level/ stable and then comes a renewed interest in other things in life. Hold on don't panic things will even out.. Take it easier on yourself the beating yourself up doesn't help. Best wishes

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:13 pm
(@livingwithregret)
Posts: 10
Topic starter
 

I cant im a mess, i look like s**t i feel useless, my bf says he just comes home from work to find me smashing the vodka and smoking. I dont know what else to do. I know ive made things hard but i hate him at the moment. I know he goes to work and ive been busy trying to sort this DRO but i feel like im not good enough anymore. Im paranoid and unreasonable. I lay awake i cant sleep im tired. Tired of it all. I thought at first positive i can do this but its wrecked everything i had. Was it better off a secret?!! Atleast was only me suffering. Ive lost interest in it all. I feel lost. Who am i now. Just an absolute joke of a gf and mum. Trying to hold it together but its crumbling around me. Tomo is another day. Isnt it. 

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 9:21 pm
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Tomorrow is another day. Dust yourself down and try again put the big stick that you are beating yourself up with away. Your addiction is trying to fool you.... Should of kept the secret.....could have carried on. It's making you paranoid full of self doubt. This is what addiction does to you and is why you need professional help to get your mind in order. Try get some sleep, get up tomorrow and get help, alcohol won't help its a depressant numbs the pain but the pain comes back worse. Post tomorrow and I'll look out for you. Take care

 
Posted : 23rd July 2020 10:07 pm

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