2021 MY AMBLE TOWARDS THE NOT GAMBLE

Hi Adam,

I'm so glad you were able to talk to a friend about skitsophrenia & how much suffering you've endured. MH issues are no longer taboo, and at last people can open up & speak to others about it. As a Spurs fan I'm sure you know how Aaron Lennon ( a fantastic footballer ) suffered in silence for so long with MH problems before opening up. 

These problems can be overcome, it simply takes courage and strength to open up & you've shown that in abundance. Think of yourself not as a victim but a pioneer who's played a major part in removing the stigma of both MH issues and addiction. Being open, speaking out creates a better world for future generations.

Be Proud

Al

Adam!! I’m a bit late with the 500 day congratulations but I couldn’t let it pass without coming to comment. You have done so very well. I know you are proud and rightly so. What an achievement. Keep going strong xx

Congratulations on 500 days not gambling Adam. A seismic achievement and inspiration for us all. 

Fantastic my friend 🙂

Thanks again for the posts, really chuffed im getting soo many.  Yes Al in the first few years of having skitsophrenia i didnt know i had it and i kept quiet and didnt talk to friends and family about what was going on in my head,  as a result i got really unwell almost took my own life and lost my job all in the space of a couple of months.  It has taken a lot of courage to open up to people about my problems and i feel now one person at a time i can open up and finally get the support i need to function well and support society in a way that i can.  I don't want to be a burdon i want to be a help.  With the portering job suiting me and the hours i can manage, i have found that thru support at work they can find a job that works well for me, they have whats the word found me a well suited adjusted role that ties in with my abilities and illness.  For that i am thankful.

I am hopefully going to move into my flat in september of this year or early next year.  It is quite daunting as i hear voices a couple of times a week over night and this will be tough to deal with on my own at first but i feel i can come back home if it gets bad and i have the support here for when it does.  Having my own flat will really help in other areas of life and i will enjoy its garden in the summer.  There's a few things that need to be done to the flat first like flooring, plastering in lounge, painting etc then its just about slowly buying everything i need...... a second hand sofa will be first on the list and a microwave.  I am however daunting it will be looking forward to this next step....

All the best Adam

T

I forgot to tell you al, i sent my cv to gamcare wrote them an email saying that id like to offer my service to mod the gamcare chats at 8pm.  They replied saying that you cant send cvs in for positions (i dont think they really read my email properly), but i would like to be a counseller and it would have been a good step towards it.....  In the mean time i will continue to visit chat when i can and try to give advice as best i can.

Now im half way thru my "getting trim" goal time of september, 4.5 months left, ive really fallen back to bad ways lately of eating sweets and crisps each day and ive had varying degrees of success with the exercise (mainly good weeks and improving numbers but a few weeks lately of not recording my kilometres and not going out for an evening walk).  Ive even started to move the scalles back a bit on the floor to read a more positive number.  With this in mind ill move the scales to the punishing (true) area on the floor next sunday after another week where i will not diet too much a little bit of everything as my mum says and will aim to do 30k walking again.  I will also look to push myself a bit more with my shoulder exercises, i have  a new red elastic band for exercises so will use this, i will aim for four times each day this week then up it again next week and so on.  I may try some different exercises too once ive spoken to my physio.  Ive still not started riding to work as ive got to buy a helmet, but im looking to do this in the summer months.

I must sound like a broken record on here at times but i like to push myself towards each goal and this year is "body health" year!!!!!, i'm not sure what i will aim for next yer it might be a repeat of this year if i dont achieve it this year lol we will see.

All the best Adam xx 

Thank you for visiting my diary Adam.

Your recovery has inspired myself and others and for that I am grateful.

Keep up the good work but but be careful not to make too many demands on yourself.

Aum ?

Hi,

You ain't a broken record, have you ever gone to bed early with a good book promising yourself you'll read 1chapter then have an early night ?. The book's so good you can't put it down & before you know it it's 2 am. That's your story, enthralling, interesting and given what you've achieved the happiest ending ever.

May you achieve all your goals, you deserve it so much. Triumph over adversity & struggles. Optimism over despair, and success despite your struggles. I've no doubt every time you post, you inspire someone on here.

All The Best

Al

Hi Aum an Al thanks for posting much appreciated....  I hope this continues to be successfull and happy as a read thats for sure.  But there are still nigling thoughts of gambling at the back of my mind that pop up every now and then.....  They come along with my thoughts of having a drink socially......  i usully park the thoughts to one side then come back to them later.....  I know deep don that giving up the drinking really cleared my head and put me on a great track towards my other goals..... With this in mind i will endevour to not drink again....How long this will last i dont't know but im going strong at the moment.

Doen my shoulder exercises this morning and this afternoon.  Went to work walked 3.5 k at work.  Had lunch and managed to not eat the crisps and chocolate bar i had with me.  Then home and out for a walk another 2k with mum.  Then dinner and im now sitting back thinking great start.... Boy thats a great start.  

Weighed myself today in the punishing spot on the floor after work and it was 12 stone 12 pounds.  I was to be honest expecting it to be worse so im thankfull for that.

Onwards  i go.

Lets do this.....

All the best adam xx

Hello Adam.. 

Pigs very happy and feasting... 

Lovely to read your name on my diary. I'm well and hope you continue to be happy too 

Boo ? 

Second day of diet and didnt have any snacks so far today horray...... i feel a chocolate bar coming soon tho.

Been working on my diet this week, clocked up some kilometres at work, but ive just weighed myself and am 13 stone again :(.  Im going to start riding a bicycle to work when weather allows....  Tis should burn some calories.  Over and out..

All the best adam xx

Adam your doing amazing,

could the weight gain infact be you building more muscle mass with walking/ excercising more ? Great to see you always focused on your goals

Lou

Been for a short walk and watched what ive eaten today.....  more drinks than snacks and some fruit.....

Off for a 4 hour round trip tomo to a friends for the spurs final with a bbq thrown in so my diet will go out the window for one day but ill be drinking coke zero cans and ill eat some fruit for breakfast so that should make it not soo much of a calorific day.....  Really really been looking forward to it....

COME ON U MIGHTY SPURS, U CAN DO IT IT'S JUST ONE GAME TO WIN!!!!!! SMASH EM

Only done 20k walking this week.  however ive started to service my dads mountain bike and im going to ride it to work once ive bought a helmet.

Hope you have a fantastic day with your friends for spurs match, hope its sunny for your bbq

Lou x

Hi Adam, at the time of writing my congratulations/commiserations re, the Spurs result! 

It's always great to chat to you on the Forums and the way you have adhered tothis better life with ongoing discipline here on the forums ... not many have your longevity Adam and it's to be applauded.  That's inner strength right there.

Anyway ... will Spurs clinch it or be robbed? Hope you enjoyed the game for all the right reasons 🙂