I’ve now reached 44 days without placing a bet, I’m not really sure how still to this point other than gamstop.
Really had a few tough, down days and I do think my gambling was and us related to deeper issues in my life - unhappiness, anxiety maybe even an element of depression having read and matched a lot of the signs to myself. It’s crazy to think I went 12 years without tackling my inner demons, gambling was my medicine and I’m left facing the harsh reality of life at 34 with a young family to provide for. The positives are I want to change, I have to change and I’ve never been so determined. Each day is a blessing. I still think about gambling, I’ve had urges and at times I’ve felt so much like I want to turn to it, but these moments have passed. The clouds are clearing and I can see the error of my past with this horrible addiction, time to move forward and make the changes needed to move forward.
When I won - I gave it all back. When I lost - I chased, lost more and hit some dark days. I don’t want to return to that. Nothing in life is free, work for and value everything, gambling is a mugs game. My dad once said this to me without knowing about my secret and he still doesn’t. How right he was, how I wish I had listened. Move forward and get to 50 days gamble free
Welcome to the diaries hiddenaddict and congratulations on 45 days gamble free.
It saddens me to think of the suffering, shame and guilt you would have experienced over the last 12 years but am happy to read that you are reclaiming your life.
Stopping gambling is very difficult but with all the blocks in place it can be done. It is reassuring to see that you are determined to succeed and have a good understanding of the challenges you will face.
Wishing you success and happiness.
Aum
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