Hi dan
In middle of self destruct need to get to stop myself just reading your diary amazing 439 days congratulations I know life still not easy but wow your doing amazing just reading helps me so thank you.
The bear
Thank you - I'm doing OK, just get frustrated with myself sometimes, lots of personal exploration to go as I still cant say ewith any certainty if I am like I am because I spent 20 years gambling and have ruined myself somewhat or if I would of been like this anyway - and I don't think I would of been, I think I am still trying to overcompensate and I still dont know my own mind well enough to make sound decisions
fitness and mental well being has to be at the heart of it but even that I struggle with (tops up red wine glass!) oh well, gambling can still do one - starting to glimpse ahead to 500 days - a nice target - firstly though I shall concentrate on day 440 and then 441
thanks again all and Bear ill drop by your own diary - I wish you well though!
440 days today, tough day at work and an even tougher return home, lots of arguing - not good and in my view not fair but also a massive waste of energy, trying to bite my tongue as I know that at the heart of it all lies my gambling, my choices, my actions.
This is another consequence, the frustration, the anger is understandable, I deserve worse, far worse because of my choices but I am here, I am listening to the 'feedback', I need to celebate the positives and I need to stop making excuses for my procrstination, be comfortable with who I am
strength, focus and happiness for the simple pleasures in life
looking forward to turning in for the night shortly
focus!
Amazing, continue being strong. I look forward to being in the 400's. I am only on day 57. So proud of you.
many thanks I am done and best wishes with your own battle
442 today, puncture on car which is a pain and an irratating expense but one we can 'afford' now - not soemthing I'd have been able to say 18 months ago - small things, small things
I am a compuslive gambler, today I will choose to not gamble
443, the wine tastes good, need some sleep, work again tomorrow, family are healthy, thats whats important
work days like today really dont help an addict.... id love a way out of the daily slog! still no gambling and i 100% know thats not the answer!
444 nice number though, just seen it pop up!
Hi CG
Thanks fo your post on my diary. Really pleased to see you are continuing on youre journey gamble free and I look forward to seeing you smash through 500 days. No one said it would be easy but if it was easy it wouldn't mean as much. Keep going.
Matt
Thanks Matt!
456 days now, closing in on 500 but I'll make it 457 first!
473
476
485 - I fel guilt for not posting regularly on here but I do often pop by and read, just not signed in as using work device, I dont like that but still so far I am doing OK, still early days but already stopping has meant the debt is virtually all gone and we are going on a holiday. cant quite believe it, gonna be no frills but still its the adventure ive dreamt off gfor soooo long now
489
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