Hi Everyone
Not my favourite film but it fits the topic and I know many have enjoyed it.
I would imagine this post as a topic would be different for everyone and I'm really interested to hear your thoughts on the matter
So I guess my question is why does recovery work look like to you ?
I spent the last 26 years of my addiction building a company which ended with a hand grenade being thrown on the whole thing. As much as I never imagined it would go the way it has undecided on 19th November that enough was enough and I couldn't carry on. Not knowing the first thing about recovery but being aware I had bowed to addiction every day for 44 years, I knew it would take a lot to replace those hours and the thoughts. I decided to throw myself at it, try everything at least once, as what did I know ? All I knew created a monster, far removed from anyone I could face let alone recognise in the mirror.
Recovery work on myself as changed over the months but looks something like this.
GA meetings in person
Reading, replying and posting on Gamcare and Evive
Counselling
Zoom meetings
12 steps
Gratitude and inventory lists
Meditation and prayer
Gamcare chatrooms
Podcasts and research
It may sound a lot and impossible for some due to work and family commitments so I'm just saying what works for me. It's help me to change Self..
Self pity, selfishness, self harm mentally physically and emotionally, self seeking and being self centred have started to become self worth, self awareness and selflessness. All thanks to some amazing guidance by people in this space.
Would anyone be kind enough to share what their recovery work looks like ?
For me, 20 years of prayer. Begging God, cursing God and ultimately the hurt i caused others and myself - compounded by the death of my mum, helped me change.
I can honestly say that the power behind me stopping has not been from me. I spent 23+ years fighting it, then my mum died and I never went back. I dont know, I can't rationalise it, one day it was overwhelming and I couldn't ever see myself stopping and then one day it was gone.
My brain shifted.
Thats all I got.
I never put blocks in place, I never had someone look after or scrutinise my bank account. I never went to GA or seemed help from gp etc.
But I will say, that for years prior, I was totally and utterly sick of myself. I hated gambling and I hated myself but I couldn't stop- I just had a mental block when it came to it.
My mum dying was like a switch. Again, I dont understand it and cannot rationalise it but it worked and In some ways I feel like a fraud as although it hasn't always been easy - i haven't found recovery hard.
I honestly dont know. I like to think my mum passed her strength to me (she was silentlythe strongest woman I knew) and that's enough.
I know that Gods plan for me was to be better than I was. That 20 years of prayer and desperate had culminated, it the moment of my mums death and I realised that life's just too short to live it the way I had lived it.
Its the only answer I have.
Hi Clover
That was a really powerful share. As we have spoken before, I'm sure your mum did pass on strength to you and is looking over you with such pride.
I think you nailed it with the brain shift. It's not just abstinence it's about changing thought and actions to be a better person which you have
Clover this was another issue i had another friend of mine went exactly the same way i never looked at it like this he remained bet free since 2012 his mum hated gambling and what it did i believe u are blessed even with all the blocks and all the recovery for alot of people it still difficult had i not experience a close friend able to do this i would have found it hard to believe
Hi Taz
What does a week in recovery look like to you now they you are over 1000 days down the line mate ?
i actually dont even see it as recovery i see it as a change with this addiction their still too much negativety sourrounding it other addicts who were addicted to alchohol or drugs have a much better approch to change whereas addicts even after 10+ free are not selling a bet free life i can understand some people may have issues so obviously it not going to make a difference it all doom and gloom in my case just within this time my life a billion times better sometimes i think am the only one that appreciate this which i simply couldnt see before when i came on here it was Faith i asked him about his life and he was the only one who gave me what i wanted i didnt want to hear doom and gloom i just needed to want the bet free life that bit more and being in debt was the driving factor and now i have noticed other benefits just by simply not placing a bet i am quite content on my own gamble made me needy and now i can enjoy life on my own terms whether it a good thing or bad thing i dont know but what i do know i have more reason to remain bet free then i ever did as i appreciate life
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