A fresh start ...

After a crappy few months and a even worse week , 

things are looking up today , lively you are really one in. A million and can’t Thankyou enough for my special gift it was the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever been brought ?

Awww thank you for the kind words and glad it cheered you up a little. I very rarely visit here these days but wanted to leave a few words for you to look back at in the future as a reminder of how far you have come.

I know the past few months have been really tough but I am so proud of you that despite everything, you’ve shown strength and determination. Many in that position would have faltered under the pressure, stress and sadness and sought solace in returning to old habits but you really have worked hard in your recovery and it is really paying off. You have grown so much in the past year since I’ve known you.  It”s okay to have days where there are tears, days where you don’t want to speak to anyone or days where you do not want to do anything but sit with your thoughts because those times will pass and there will happy moments to look forward to and is a sign of strength that no matter what life throws at you, you bounce back. Life can be really tough sometimes and there will always be ups and downs along the way but you now have the tools to navigate your way through it and although it may not feel it at the time, having these emotions is far better then feeling numb and empty after spending so many years trying to escape our emotions. 
 
Be proud of yourself and everything you’ve achieved this year. Thank you for being there for me, this year and journey would have been so much more difficult without our chats about every topic under the sun or the banter we have Which has made me laugh more in the past year then I have in the last ten. This time last year I wouldn’t have been able to get someone a gift and could never have imagined how happy it makes me being in a position to do so and you earned it through the support you’ve given me. Having someone to talk to about the cold hard truth about gambling helps keep it in perspective and reinforces why I never want to be in that position ever again and although I openly discuss it with family members it is not the same as sharing those thoughts with someone who truly understands it so a big thank you! ❤️ 
Lively x

Thankyou , my moods have been up and down the last few months with everything that’s going on at the min , that act of kindness has really turned it around , as silly as it sounds,  I no their is still tough days ahead ,I need to learn to talk straight the way instead of bottling all up for weeks that’s Something that I’m working on , Thankyou for supporting me threw the good times and staying patient in the difficult times ?

500 days , 

how much has changed /happened in 500 days ! 
not been a easy road but it’s so worth it, I’ve had more up and downs in the last four months all been made that little bit easier to deal with without the stress and lies that gambling brings , coming to terms with loss and sadness theirs been days wen I don’t want to get out of bed days were it’s been none stop , I gave up on decorating and tryed to get a decorator in ? well that’s a whole different story ... project for this month get this decorating done in the next two weeks ready for my son coming home I will try and write in my diary abit more often even if it’s just to check in gf ... 

Congratulations Zoe.

500 days gamble-free is a wonderful achievement.

Aum ?

It really is! Well done??

Thankyou both ?

Thank you vinnie you are right it just hurts when you give 30 years to someone i think of as a brother and well done on your 500 days 

I no it dose scotty , 

unfortunately sometimes money and friendships don’t mix , I’ve seen with my own eyes wen that’s mixed together can change people for the worse, you are good man that tryed to help someone in need,  then in return they turned your life upside down , you keep on fighting the good fight don’t let this keep you from being the strong man that you are ?

Just finished decorating the hall way , I did do it in the week but was unhappy with it , just need to pick up some oil for the wood work to make it pop that can wait till payday, it feels like I’ve been doing that room forever ??‍♀️, every thing going well on gambling front , tomorrow going to take vin on a long walk clear my head a little ! 

Everything seems to be falling into place atm , after a tough few months im starting to feel like me again throwing my energy into decorating I’m onto the living room now,  one thing I have learnt threw it all I ain’t fighting for a spot in anyone’s life u wanna go I’ll hold the door u wanna stay I’ll put the kettle on !! 

Good afternoon, 

between decorating and working out not finding much time for much eles , glad to finally have my weights set back up from moving house , 

had a few strange dreams lately not like at the beginning wear they would be so real u needed to check the bank , but they seem to be more often the last few weeks think it’s cause I’m decorating properly  now not just making it look presentable , 

Hi nice to see things are looking brighter for you I have had a really bad time I will not bother you with it but still gambling free take care your friend. Scotty??ps not sure you you speak to lively but sending my best wishes ??

Quick update , 

things are going well for me atm , enjoying the summer and company of friends all very relaxed no more staying indoors glued to laptop I can’t remember the last time my skin had a golden glow , told my mum over the weekend that I banned myself from gambling and how long I haven’t played for not sure why it’s took me this long to tell her son brought the conversation up and it just flowed , fitness side going well had a few comments muscles are to big for a girl ?? but I enjoy it and keeps me focused 

Feeling a little off last two days, 

Hopefully will shake this feeling soon.