A moment of madness continued...!

Yo, please don’t be too hard on yourself . Managing 112 days was a feat in itself. And has shown you , you can knock this on the head for an extended period. I can not think of one person on this site who hasn’t relapsed , it’s what you do next that counts, if you can dust yourself down quick smart and focus your energy on not gambling today rather than letting the negative thoughts give the addiction more power. It will try to convince you, you can win it back ( you know you can’t ), it may try to make you feel so worthless that what’s the point of even fighting . But you can and have previously kept the addiction at arms length , so stay strong and those days gf will mount up again . No guilt , no beating yourself up . Take care hun, and in the light of day be kind to you .... Shiny

Thanks for your kind words dustyfairy25. I have been struggling for so long with this addiction, illness and I’m tired of it all. Last night after losing more money I never felt so alone. I phoned a charity helpline and spoke to someone. I verbally vomited everything out. Didn’t get much sleep but phoned the self exclusion this morning to get that shop added. Phoned the credit card company but the advisor wasn’t very helpful in telling me whether it was better for me to try and pay the debt off now or before the next statement? It feels like Deja Vu all over again when will I be free...

Jopski
Fella a far more educated fellow than I once stated that the definition of insanity is
To repeat the same thing over and again and except the outcome to change.
I question your ability to be able to access a thousand pounds on your credit card??
Why have you made this possible?
To have access to large sums of funds for me is all too often just tempting addiction to open the door.
What changed since your last episode of gambling and yesterday's episode.
To just Abstain from a bet is simply the first step.
It will provide you with an opportunity to create changes without the need to fix the immediate problems gambling creates.
The financial loss is just for me the very tip of the ice burg, it is equally the quickest thing that rights itself when you enter abstinence.
Because without gambling money accumulates.
It took me over twenty years of feeding addiction to understand the collateral damage I caused myself.
Have you considered ga, visiting your gp, seeking help from the counselling service here or any of the other ways that will help you seek change.
Because nothing changes if nothing changes.
I wish you well.
Duncs

Thanks duncanmac. 112 days ago I gambled and I relapsed again yesterday. I can’t tell you why I keep repeating the same thing time and time again. I’m a compulsive gambler... I have been seeing a counsellor locally and it has helped though I have relapsed. I have self excluded from the casino, bingo hall, local amusements and most of the bookmakers. Apart from one about 30 mins away. The most annoying thing that triggered this episode was I had a puncture. But because I drove around in it without realising it. A £26 fix became a £160 replacement. This annoyed me and I decided win it. On looking back this had to be the most stupidest thing ever. As I had abstained for almost 112 days and managed the money ok. Yes I stupidly transferred a balance from 1 card to another and didn’t cut it up. That’s why I had access to that amount. I went online because I could and had credit. I only stopped when I reached my cash advance limit. Today is another day I phoned Gamcare and I put myself on a self exclusion list for online sites and got blocking software. I phoned and added that bookies into my exclusion list.