A new dawn

Back from a long evening with the in laws. They were fascinated by the concept of the chat room ?. 

Ended up replacing a dripping kitchen tap (job well done I think) and having a long chat with father in law about his anxieties with his treatment options. I have to say he wasn’t looking so great tonight. The sooner he knows for certain what he would like to choose to do the better. I have arranged for him to go to and see the hospice wellbeing team tomorrow pm. I think that will do him the world of good. We watched the rugby together, well mainly second half for me as I was in chat for the first half. That was really nice. 

It feels like bed time now ?

Dear Diary. Day 89 gamble free.

I didn’t sleep well last night for all sorts of reasons so had a sluggish day. I had a call from my brother late last night. The long and short is that my family are feeling neglected by me at the mo and feel that I am being selfish. I get annoyed with myself when I allow things they say to me to wobble me a bit. I have worked a lot on that in my counselling sessions. I feel better today than I did last night about it all.  My hubby just says the right things every time to pick me up. There is undoubtedly a selfish element to recovery but is pales into insignificance compared to how selfish I was while I was gambling. I had no regard for anyone then. Everything was about me.

My friend M is coming soon. I can’t wait. I always laugh until I cry in her company. She is so warm and funny. I love her. She is vegetarian so I will be trying Drama’s recipe. I reckon with loads of garlic bread and a good few glasses of red I might just enjoy it. No offence to the recipe. I am just not a vegetable fan. It might defeat the object having the garlic bread and wine but a) I am a feeder and b) my friend M doesn’t need to be calorie counting.

M’s moggy is coming with her for the first time too. She is a beautiful British blue. Not as old as my cat but nicely mature so hopefully they will get on ok. I will report back ?

Anyway, that is enough of a ramble for today. I have an important and lovely weekend ahead. Yesterday has passed and without any real hitches.

Enjoy your meal and your cat welcoming too. 

I can only say how selfish I felt too when gambling... Recovery is far from easy. Well hence me this morning with my scrambled head but hey that was then this is now.

As for your family. Your brother has said how he  feels. Don't let it hinder your recovery.. But a t the same time also I hope. You can work through both things easily..

Bye for now 

Boo 

?

So we have got through the evening and survived me cooking a veggie meal that is not curry. Thank you Drama! I will need to broaden my veggie menu. It is limited. Generally if I can throw a bottle of wine in it, it will be ok. 
 
The moggies seem really settled together. I have a toy that rotates something under a plastic sheet and they have played that together. It was lovely. I will have to keep them both in for a while but that is no hardship. Girl cats are generally not bothered about the outside world. Especially in winter. 

We have watched some rugby tonight with plenty of booze on tap. M isn’t a rugby fan but is willing to become indoctrinated. Good job as she has 2 games to survive in Leeds on Sunday ? It will be strange to share our home at a time when hubby and I feel l that we are kind of rediscovering our relationship again but we will make it work. M understands fully.

goodnight all x

Goodnight Godbless Murlo. Your home sounds like such a happy place to be. I am really pleased for you and M and Hubby and P***y cats. 

Sleep well my friend. Tomorrow is day 90 and you absolutely deserve all these happy memories you are creating. 

Love from Drama

XOXOXOXO

M’s cat has really taken to my  hubby. She is currently snuggled up to him with her paws round his neck. He is the ultimate  P***y magnet ?

Posted by: Murlo

M’s cat has really taken to my  hubby. She is currently snuggled up to him with her paws round his neck. He is the ultimate  P***y magnet ?

???

Good morning, day 90 gamble free. 

All quiet in the Murlo household. So far I am the only one up and about. No dramas with the moggies overnight. its a lovely morning so I may head out for a walk before the household wakes up. Have a good day all x

Morning Mark, thank you so much for the lovely virtual hug ?. It’s a lovely day here so I will enjoy the milestone. Why not!

?????

Many congratulations on 90 days. You may celebrate with one small glass of wine if you like but that is all cos its wellness February. 

Love from

Drama 

Xoxoxo

Thank you very much Drama, I am heading out for the small glass of wine. Good news is the bar will serve other things too ?

A most majestic and magnificent lady is now 90 days into her journey of recovery. The lady is Murlo and as well as being a Gamcare Warrioress First Class, she is also an absolute treasure.

A legend of the diaries who has shown her true mettle in overcoming the challenges faced by a compulsive gambler in recovery and who has continued to behave with mindfulness and maturity in making changes that were appropriate and necessary.

Murlo, I consider it an honour to accompany such a wonderful person as yourself on this life-changing journey of recovery and would like to thank you for being such a compassionate, understanding and supportive friend.

Take it away Frank:

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it the Murlo way

Stephen x 

Murlo enjoy the rest of your weekend.. Monday soon calls. 

Hope your full house rests well and remains settled. 

Chat has been easier the last two nights to navigate through. It's just the tender moments that catch.

Motoring now to your milestone.. Wonder if mixer knows his true value for doing this.. 

Will say nite n bless for now.. Safe journey if it involves travel tomorrow.

Many many kisses

Boo and scottie boo ??

Dear Diary, day 90 gamble free. 

Today has been lovely. I started off the day with a walk alone. I admit that I had a good cry but it felt right. I live  not far from a common with horses grazing and I just hugged a couple and shed a tear. I wasn’t in a bad place, it just felt right to let some emotion out. So much has happened lately. 

My friend M and I thought we would go and do some retail therapy this afternoon. Only we got spotted by friend Z and ended up in a bar. We had a fair few sherbets before my hubby called to say that him and my neighbours wanted to meet us to watch the the rugby with a few in another bar. M and I zigzagged our way there, laughing all the way. It was funny. Rugby was fun, neighbours came round to our house for tea and I cooked a veggie curry (plus a separate one for me with meat in). 

I am planning on an early evening ahead of the rugby tomorrow. The rest of the household may stay up late with neighbours and that is fine. I need some sleep tonight ?

Hi Murlo,

My daughter lives quite close to a farm. Sometimes when i visit i call in the supermarket first and buy 50p or 60p worth of carrots. My 3 year old grandson & i often go to the farm to give BOBBY the horse his carrots before grandson JUDE goes to nursery. Bobby ain't the horses real name but try & tell my grandson that & he'll have none of it. Not so long ago my wife had a day off & decided to come along to feed BOBBY. It was comical to see a 3 year old telling his gran that she must hold out her hand flat or BOBBY will bite her fingers.

Who'd have thought that my 3 year old grandson would teach me to love the type of animal that caused me so much misery & pain. It's days like this that keep me strong & lead me away from temptation. Why do i too love BOBBY so much ?. Because he doesn't wear a saddle cloth with a number on the side. 90 days is a fantastic achievement no longer 2 fat ladies but top of the shop blind 90.

Best Wishes

AL