So sometimes I have urges to return to gamble, I can't stop them I suppose because I am a compulsive gambler. I have been this way since I was 16 now 38 nearly 39. I have had patches where I give up but I always return. I don't think I enjoy gambling I honestly don't get happy or sad from it. But I do seem to like the numbness it gives me where nothing matters bar the next bet it is so reckless. If I stop and think it's self-harm, I would like to be like many on here optomistic about recovery but how can you be with so many failures. However I do know you get peace of mind from not gambling and genuine happiness from the lack of constant swings. This soon turns to boredom that life is not pacy enough. So I am not worried about how far I go on this recovery just get to the end of the day and start again tomorrow is all I am trying to do. I wish all of you a happy gamble free New Year but in all honesty any time offf gambling is to be treasured.
End of the day 17, happy to still here going ok and for me thats enough
Just for today I won't gamble
Just for today I will accept I cannot gamble
Just for today I will be patient
Just for today I will happy and gamble free
Just for today I will not carry money.
Day 18 begins
urge central today
Hang in there. No problem having the urges, we'll all get them, just don't act on them. Have a look at how you felt when you lapsed before .... so on a good day you might win a few quid (and give it back subsequently). On a bad day, you'll blow loads and feel absolutely terrible. One day at a time, and don't waste those days you've already clocked up. Rich
Hi Frozen, Go for a walk, go to the pub, go to the shops .... anything. Just keep away from the bookies, or the online casino. Come on, you can do it
Day 18 complete read abook and went to GA in the end worth it. I was expecting it at sometime but onwards and forward see you tomorrow
I am glad GA was worth it for you, I am still considering whether to go or not.
Just for today I will not gamble
Just for today I will accept I cannot gamble
Just for today I will not carry money
Just for today I will be happy and gamble free
Just for today I will be patient
Just for today I will let anxieties go
Hi Scott, I was just building up like a pressure cooker yesterday, so glad I went to GA just to talk can sometimes rationalise all your problems. Thats what been a compulsive gambler does brings all your worries and anxieties down on you so that all you can see is a gamble as the only way out. All my life in one way or another has been like this. To be honest I don't want to go anywhere with this recovery I am genuinely happy with each gamble free day. Of course like many on here I would like to make big plans for the future but how can you when you can't trust yourself to walk up a street. I know in time it will get better but I will let that happen on it's own clock. Of course I wish my life had been different in some parts and in other ways I would not change it for the world. I suppose my abiding hope is my kids never have a bet. Anyway stay safe everyone.
Day 19 complete and for today I am happy
Just for today I will not gamble
Just for today I will accept I cannot gamble
Just for today I will be patient
Just for today I will not carry money
Just for today I will be happy and gamble free
Just for today I will look on the bright side of life
Day 20 commences
Day 20 completed
Hello Frozen,
Been following along your diary just thought i was post a "hi" to show my support.
I think the one day at a time way can really work well. Sometimes that day is easier than others and this does carry on for a while but if we can end each day without betting its a successful 1!
Its takes a long time to re-build our lives around the way we want to live them so to look too far ahead can make it feel impossible. The truth is each day is adding its own piece to you and your recovery and them pieces add up over time. Every marathon starts with a first step and your well on your way now.
Keep at it, i'll be reading and i wish you well.
Great to see you clocking up those GF Days Frozen. How are you feeling today?
Hi Fellas,
I am good today, honestly I don't think I can do any more than a day at a time. Gambling has an awful grip on me and my mental health has suffered. Depression, Anxiety you name it I have it, very little outside interests bar gambling. Stay well a day away is good.
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