Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

Much congrats to your 501 days in abstinence, you must be extremely proud of your accomplishment. I hope that back gets better for you and try to enjoy your weekend.

Chicagoguy

Thanks for your post mate. I've given up smoking 2 or 3 times in the past doing it the cold turkey way. I too want to give up for financial reasons, I feel selfish spending £4 a day of f**s, when I can't afford to do anything else. Got 5 left for the weekend so might give it another go on Monday.

Cheers for the post, have a good weekend buddy and on to 600 days you go, well done mate 🙂

evening diary.

still prostrate upon the floor, did spend a few hrs up today gingerly moving about, yesterday i struggled all day with pain and over did it with the tablets, did not sleep much and my head was all over the place this morning.

wrote down what i took today and feel less foggy.

been doing my exercises today and will carry on.

This forum again today has shown great humility and how harsh this addiction can be.

Joan, the bear have both shared the urge beating them, great to see them back and i hope they receive some helpful support. earnest posted some food for thought, i hope he finds some answers, to boot flagg and dark place are struggling so a mixed bag, all affected by the same thing the destructive compulsion to gamble.

I hope the good that surrounds the forum works it magic on all these gamcarers , because they have all put a great deal into the forum through there recoveries so now i hope they are repaid.

mum is visiting tomorrow, looking forward to that, i hope i will at least be able to have a more comfortable day.

just enjoyed the darts with my Joe now we are watching todays football matches we recorded.well i have just dose up for the night so dazed i will soon become.

i hope this sun that shone outside works its way through the forum tomorrow.

just for today i did not formulate a punt, a blessing to behold.

Sarah has been a brilliant nurse, still awaiting the uniform

lol.

lol.

Duncs compulsive gambler

Hey Duncs

Sorry to see you have been in such pain. Really hope it eases up soon. Funnily enough, I was getting some milk out of the fridge earlier and as i turned, I twisted my back!! I hope it eases off through the night. It is so easy to put your back out.

Take care and a prayer for Duncs tonight I think.

Lady Feb.

evening diary.

had a great day with the company of my mum and her Ed

we enjoyed each others company, had a good few laughs, a bbq and they enjoyed a few glasses of wine.

me i enjoyed it all, no drinking as i am loaded up on my medication for my back. we ambled out with the dogs and tonight i got to enjoy the darts finale.

I guess i over did it being up and about as i have a great deal of pain again now and even the diazapam are not abaiting the spasms, so sleep evades me, so its trash telly lol and more importantly a visit here.

to top up on my resolve to make a life choice.

to arrest my addiction, first and foremost.

there was another new thread on the friends and family section tonight,another victim of this terrible all consuming addiction, who's crime was to just fall in love with a compulsive gambler, who after breaking her heart and more has chosen to leave to feed his addiction.

two things,I hope she finds recovery as she deserves that and more and the fella one day finds serenity through arresting his addiction and ending the destruction.

another stark reminder that the compulsion to gamble goes far beyond the addict in the path of devastation it seems glad to pursue.

my life today was enhanced and enriched bigger than any punt ever paid out.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning Duncs, sorry to hear that your back's still causing you discomfort but I'm glad that you're still gamble free. The drugs should take the edge off it tho even if they make you feel a little trippy. I remember trying to teach, high as a kite on them, having a great time. God knows what I looked like, balanced on crutches, eyes wide open, dribbling onto my tie whilst laughing uncontrollably at all the wacky haircuts in the room. I was having a great time but I think the ofsted inspector dressed as a pink elephant in the corner was less impressed. I'm just about to go into a nearby gym to do physio and loosen up, it's inconvenient at times but it helps me to keep walking and keep pain freeish.

Take care Duncs

Steve

Dunc,

I read your response to the post on the friends and family forum, and as always you speak many words of wisdom, I particularly like your phrase I read in one of your posts that the forum is your daily medicine (hope this was you!!), but I can honestly say it is because it makes me stronger every day. I also see posts from your wife and how she is so proud of you, and she has every right......keep up the great work!!!

Phil

Afternoon duncs

I turn to you for advice or words of wisdom as you are so helpful to everyone and are doing so well on your recovery path.

I've seen a lot of recovering CGs write that for them to move forward they have to accept the money lost is in the past. Not to chase losses. To accept the money is gone

Being the wife (separated now) of a CG. How do you move on from money lost when its going to take 5-10 years to pay back to lost money?

In a situation at the moment where he can't pay any of the loans credit cards etc back as wages just don't cover it. In a situation where he refuses to go to any professional for help dealing with banks and credit companies. In a situation where he won't get himself blacklisted.

2 weeks ago he asked if I'd ever have him back and now he's decided to give up. I'm worried that he would only give up gambling as emotional blackmail to me.

I really want to move forward with my life. I miss my best friend but knowing this debt is hanging over him and in affect me for so many years to come affects how I feel about him too.

I guess if it was cash in his pocket that he lost it wouldn't be as hard to deal with but it wasn't. It is now money that affects the future of my children. No holidays. No extras for them. And this year the way things stand no Xmas presents. No birthday parties either.

TIA - shelly

Hi Duncs,

Thank you for your post, as always your kindness amazes me, I hope that back is on the mend if you ventured out for a walk, and well done on the 500 days gamble free sorry i missed it, and 10 years marraige, hugs and congrats to you and sarah but you have such a wonderfull loving relationship those 10 years are just the start. I wish you many many more year of happiness together.

If you would like to donate you can do that a few ways, Me and my friends have a justgiving page set up, I could send you the link and you can dontate on there or you can text a donation , Or if you have facebook which if im correct your a techno phobe lol.... you could add me and i can send you the details.

Either way its very kind of you to offer to donate.

thanks duncs

Blondie

Much admiration at you managing to post from a horizontal position as must be a mega painfull exercise.

Have come out in sympathy as back on crutches this weekend after lifting a bag of compost - so much for self sufficiancy, will have all my own veg but not able to pick them.

Have sent my e mail address as you suggested to admin. Feeling ok today but can be like this for days then wham it catches me unawares so really really grateful for your support.

xxx

Hi Duncs

Just wondering if you're ok...just not like you to not post for a day ...no pessure ....just checking in ...

R and D x

Hoping no news is good news and that you have not succumbed totally to tramadol brain and its accompanying pain.

If you have do take care and make a swift recovery.

xxx

Morning gamcare.

morning diary, back from the land of the mad and insane,I have had two days of tremendous physcotic incidents of complete rage, paronoia and total emotional melt down, resulting in a day of sleep fitting, and more rage.

Without doubt the results of the cage affect on my brain that the combination of medication I took for a sustained period.

Amazing I had a visit from my mum, which was great, over did it physically that day, did'nt sleep well and bang!!

I have been to my gp this mornong and have been withdrawn from my medication, and we have to monitor the situation closely for the next 48 hrs, I am having a cortesone injection this aftrernoon for pain relief but truthfully I would rather grin and bare it, than return to that state of mind.

Without doubt a lesson learnt.

there is nothing I would not have done under that influence, I seemed in my own mind, totally out of my mind, today I am exhausted, totally wiped of all energy, yet my brain tries to go at a 100 miles an hour, I have always been a headstrong guy, meddled with many recreational drugs in my child hood, all to the point of excess and with only one bad incident, to which my mum had to call a doctor to calm me down(sorry again mum),(gamcare I know the ramifications of writing about criminal activity this happened over twenty yrs ago, to which the police were well aware of my usage so guilt free and to educate I write with honesty) not unlike the incident I have just lived through.

I talk to my children, especially my eldest and his friends about drugs often and the dangers of not knowing your limits and each drug affects individuals in different ways.

So to my gamcare family I am safe and well, scared wittless from this incident, I also scared Sarah a great deal, to which I know again we will work through.

I will not post on other threads for a few days, I dont point any blame anywhere but a diary or two may have been the initail trigger to my build up of rage, the feeling of being helpless in one hand and annoyed beyond belief in the same hand did not bode well.

I as my normal rational self would self debate and logically answer, try to help, my feelings were totally out of context to anything all exagerated beyond belief, it was like a firework display went off inside my head and to cope I had to rage with each explosion, I hope this all makes sense or no sense at all, but by putting it out there in writing I put another block in place, to prevent myself from ever being a danger first to myself then others.

Thanks for your posts. forever endebted.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs

Got a feeling something wasnt right .....keep save and self care xxxx

Hi Dunc.

Sorry to hear you've had a tough few days.

Get well and hope to hear from you in the near future.

Thanks for all your help over the last 15 months.

Continued best wishes,

gazza