Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hello Duncs

Just catching up with some reading- your family relay sounds like a sight to behold 🙂

Fruit buying aside, you write such sensible, insightful posts-which really get my brain going-thanks.

take care

Irene

x

Went to pick the strawberries from my hanging baskets on deck and the my beautiful feathered friends have nicked the lot along with the sprouting broccolli and most of the runner bean flowers - little b******s especially when I put bird food out every day. Hey ho have loads of mini damson trees (mini damsons not mini trees) along the lane where I live so will wait till later in the year and make damson jam instead. Jeez this is hard work when my usual response would be to get angry and then work as a trigger. I guess it gets easier with time - or does it????

xxx

Morning Dunc.

Hope this finds you well.

Thanks for not letting me slip to page 6!

Gazza

Hi Duncan,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u and ur family r ok and enjoying the sunshine 🙂

Have a gr8 day x

Catching up on some diaries, glad to hear you're still going strong. Great game of cricket too.

Take care Duncs

Steve

I saw this and thought of you

When yesterday’s gone and tomorrow is near

Why look for a thing when it’s already here?

And tell me you never once asked yourself how

Some people end up in the middle of the now.

Now is the beat of the feet on the floor

Now is the then we were all waiting for

It’s the strike of the luck

It’s the go with the flow

It’s the sharing the love with the people we know.

See a wise fool once said kind of out of the blue

That life is a dream that’s already come true.

It’s the less of the what, of the where and the how

its more of the you of the me and the now

take care

blondie

Hi mate,

Just checking in to say hi mate and to see how things are with you. Really looking forward to the footy starting again soon but at least the rugby and Cricket have been a distraction.

Wondered if somebody fancied setting up a football predictions league on here, could be good to get a group of us up for it, just for fun?

Anyway enjoy the rest of your week.

evening diary.

thanks for all the posts on my thread they mean a great deal.

haven't been around the forum for a few days why??

because i have enjoyed a spell where gambling has not been anywhere in my mind. i have enjoyed a kind of down time, time to just enjoy life. Today i enjoyed the third bbq in five days with the best company of all my beautiful Sarah the kids and mum and ed. oh and the dogs, ours and mums.

Mum and ed brought our new (old) dining table down, ed found an old pine table for twenty quid and spent two weeks rebuilding it sanding it back to bare wood and it looks a million bucks. thankyou ed you are a top top man, now we can shop for six old chairs to compliment it and look forward to many great memories sat round it as a family.

The mention of gambling has taken a back seat in my life, everyone close to me has plans today, big and small but plans all the same, and plans that can be met, not maybes that will only happen if the wheel falls on the correct number. It feels great to know everyone has backed the most important horse in the all important race.

that's me, duncs warts and all what i have to offer is enough, something gambling stole from my thinking.

well not any more.

next week marks a years anniversary since our dear friend Kim lost her battle with cancer.

her dying wish was we took life for all its worth, we haven't let you down my friend, not a minute wasted, yes there's obstacles to climb or dodge but we come through them and life today is for the taking.

team mac/holman is taking it for all its worth.

why ???

because i stopped the one thing that destructed our being.

my name is Duncan mcquilken I am a compulsive gambler no bet for 540 days.

stepping forward never back.

oh and hats off to ed he won the best fruit cake baked by him at the county show on Saturday with no outside influence !!!! not bad work for an ex plumber!!

today i salute you sir. my wish to become half the man you are.

morning diary.

Today I have enjoyed reading the sucesses that you great folk take the time to share, these build a fella's resolve and feed the soul.

For it I salute you one and all!!!

Today I won't be partaking in any gambling activity, why??

Because simply what I have to lose I am not prepared to stake!!

No matter what odds you offer.

'I did win because I did stop'

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Always a pleasure to hear from you Duncs and even nicer to hear life's treating you well. I apologise for being a philistine but I must admit to preferring jelly in my trifle, not for a purist maybe but I was brought up thinking angel delight, babycham and imperial leather were posh. Ferrero Roche again were in a league of there own. Every Sunday, myself and my mum would make the jelly for after lunch, brings back happy memories of sucking half melted jelly cubes. She would lift me up on the sideboard alongside an old Bakelite bush radio and place me next to a steaming bowl of little jellied 'ice bergs.' She had to stop when I turned forty and her knees gave way.

Enjoy the sunshine Duncs with your lovely family, you deserve it.

Steve

afternoon diary.

it's hooooooot today!!!!

just enjoying the last session of the cricket, looks like the opening pair struggled, lords is a truly unique place i had the privilege to work a day there many years ago to which today i can really appreciate as at the time when i worked in a London hotel we used to do extra work at various events, and at the time I would work to earn money to cover gambling losses so another legacy left from my gambling past, to work countless days more often 17hours a day to fund stints of more reckless gambling. I can see truly today how far back my episodes of great losses affected my relationship with money. truthfully until I started recovery my relationship with money in my life has been horrendous.

Today every penny has to have a purpose, to purchase things has become measured and I am learning to have a better outlook on how to go about using the funds.

this i see is another benefit of throwing everything at abstinence. At every turn there is a co joined factor left from my gambling life which disrupted other parts of life and through the twelve steps Those things are too educated.

So to find balance in my life I look back at the bad to re evaluate and find time to smile at the good. And the memory of lords which i hold dear was to see a somewhat flustered umpire Mr. d.bird shuffling down the back corridor bemoaning the fact that his day couldn't get any worse as his train had been delayed and now it was overcast and this was to be a terrible day. always makes me smile as he was cool as a cucumber at the crease. lol.

sport has always been a part of my life, for a period I lost it's true worth.

today as i watch bell knock up another century I sit safe in the knowledge it's found its place again, something I use as pursuit for relaxing and great pleasure, without any real concern of the outcome. I certainly won't be staking any hard earnt on it today.

My name is duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Thanks for dropping in to my diary the other day and offering your suport.

You are in a great place at the moment and long may it continue for you buddy.

Nearly 18 months bet free is a truly inspirational story. You have your values of life well back in the right order. Family and moneywise you now know what you are dealing with, and by the sounds of it your positive spin on recovery and your continued support to others on here is still driving you on day by day.

Keep doing what you are doing my friend, you deserve all you get from now forwards, never back...

All the best

Ade

Hi Duncs,

Inspired, inspired and once again inspired. It is no secret that I have been struggling over this past month but, I have been reading and I just love your positive outlook and I know that you had to work and continue to work very hard for it. It is not a cardboard or magazine smile you wear. You have been there and are now back and your gratitude shines like a beacon brother. I really appreciate what you bring to this forum so, I once again raise up my mug of steaming joe ( and it is already 100 degrees in the shade over here ) to you sir. Life is better without gambling in it and your diary is a testament to that fact. Thank you Duncs -joanxxx

Sport is a great thing. Something to be enjoyed not stressed over not shouting miss! miss!! At the screen because you have everything riding on the outcome. No relax and enjoy the sport for what it is. Great entertainment. Have a great weekend and enjoy seeing England winning the second test tomorrow or perhaps a little of Monday to.

Morning diary

Thanks for all the posts they truly humble me. Yes I am in a good place, a far cry from where my life had taken me through my compulsion to gamble. My pursuit of something for no or little effort eventually cost me a great deal more than the money i staked. It stole the best years of my kids growing up, time with my beautiful wife, it destructed my family and lost me many friends and in the end my professional reputation was damaged. I can't ever regain any of that and there is no value to put on any of it.

I have looked a great deal in the last few days into the triggers that set about my destructive behaviours as again through this wonderful forum I witness the destruction gambling causes.

My life made no sense whilst I gambled, truly there was just the function of finding the funds for an episode of gambling and then finding a plausible lie to cover it to function the funding of yet the next episode.

Eventually ' papering over the cr#acks' left big holes filled by even more outrageous lies and that paper became so heavy it pulled the the whole wall down with the weight of the lies.

So without a wall, I have built a new one, brick by brick it has been hard work but there is a wall forming.

With this wall for me the difference is there is a path up it so i can enjoy the view.

In my gambling life i felt like i could never see over that wall, and boy that grass on the other side was always Greener!!

Today i can see through abstinence it is not always Greener and if it is, i will ask for advice, help to make my grass the same. Today I know i have a choice, I can climb the wall and stretch my legs when i like and enjoy the shade my wall gives when i need it. And enjoy them both the same.

It used to start with the lotto, after Sarah caught me out, i would lay dormant until i could convince her to play the lotto and that would for my addiction justify gambling in the house. I would manipulate things so my addiction could again be fed, and by any means. The result worse destruction. An ever decreasing circle.

Today I will win. Why??

Because I got up at half five walked with my hounds to free my mind and share in there joy in the cool. I came back to enjoy a lay in with my Sarah, we enjoyed tea and scones and she dozed back off, she looks so beautiful asleep, free from those pent up worries about what today would bring and I logged on here. I am energized, my resolve topped up, pleased i learned a thing or two.

For that i thank you.

Today I have work to do but it won't take up the whole day so later gamble free and enjoying the rewards of it I will enjoy something no bet could gift.

LIFE.

My name is Duncs i am a compulsive gambler

no bet since 23/01/2012

Stepping forward never back.