Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs... I know what it feels like to go for a long stretch gamble free and then to gamble. I have walked that walk and felt those feelings of self-disgust and self-loathing.

But if its any crumb of comfort you have done the right things, you have come clean to your loved ones and those of us here and at G.a.. This is a pivotal moment (for any of us) in stopping a gambling event turning into a full blown relapse. You could have kept quiet and lied and carried on gambling some more, but you haven't.

As Sandra says, keep using your support and keep moving forward. Take care... S.A

Hi Duncan,

U have always been there 4 me in my darkest times, pls stay strong u had a slip but this is such a strong addiction. I know it's tough but try not 2 be 2 hard on urself. U r not a failure, u have been honest and that takes a lot of strength. I still also have so much respect and time 4 u, I really really feel 4 u. I hope Sarah is ok sending her a hug . Please keep fighting this addiction Duncan u have 2 much 2 lose.

I'm thinking of u xx

The sheer amount of time you've been free of gambling and the change it should have had on your life will reflect on how react to your slip. My own recent slip after 10 months free brought back horrible memories of what I had been through whilst I was hooked. The losing and chasing I can relate too.

We lost ourselves, is the best way to put it. Once we walk away from it though I feel, knowing we have a problem we find ourselves again.

Wish you the best

Alex

Hi Mr Duncs

You are not a failure, you are human. We all make mistakes- that's OK. You recognised and arrested this and are using the support that you have.

Nothing can take away all that you've gained, learned and shared.

Take care Duncan

Irene

x

Duncs,

So sorry to hear this mate. I'll not sit here and proffer words of advice/wisdom, because you've spent enough time on here to have heard it all before. Usually it's you giving out the solid advice...

It is true - you have let the darkness back in, and there may shame, guilt and potential repercussions as a result. But look at the title of your diary - "stepping forward never back". Today is done now. You cannot change it; but the fact that you've held your hands up, confessed to the mrs etc.speaks volumes. It's easy to think you're somehow embroiled in the deep, dark world of gambling once again - but someone who can drag themselves up for air so soon after a slip is surely a person who has made great progress and learned invaluable lessons through recovery thus far.

All the normal stuff goes without saying - you are (and continue to be) a source of inspiration and strength for all on this forum. The help you have given people like me is massively appreciated. I hope we can repay some of that support as you steady the ship in the coming days and weeks.

Take care pal

D123

Hey Duncs

Keep it simple - something I learnt from you - time, money, location!! You have done amazingly well up to now and I have every faith in you that you will quickly bounce back from this stronger than ever.

Remember Duncs, forwards, never back!! You will do it once more.

Take care.

Lady Feb.

Morning diary.

Thanks so much for the kind words of support. A very sobering night for me one of some well needed medicine taken and the start of some action to eliminate future episodes of gambling in my life. Without doubt i know this is what my addiction hates, a positive stance. I left ga at half time, with one of the fellas who drove to the supermarket and paid for a dozen photos which we went to the 12 bookies nearest and self excluded. I will repeat this process in the proceeding weeks in other locations, doing so as therapy. I am going to seek some advice regarding some cbt therapy today to help with my self esteem and decision making.

Most of all i will continue being brutally honest with myself. To my family i love you and thankyou for your kindness. I felt like a fool, to which i was. Today a new day. Day 1 in my continued recovery.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs only just seen your post as fell asleep in front of the telly last night ..

((((((( big hugs ))))))) to you today and full respect my friend for coming back on here. If going back to day 1 helps then you go for it but to me this is a very small slip up not down on a very long time line of being abstinent..

Be kind to you today and also sending hugs to Sarah ..it's unconditional from me Duncs, the good ,the bad and the ugly.

There are a some special people in the world and many are on here who no matter what , deserve all the love in the world..you are one of them !

keep coming back !..

R and D xxx

Ps You have ALWAYS stepped forward Duncs ...never ever back..even these last few days you have still been stepping forward with honesty and integrity....

Xxx

DMac,

I have just read your post and I am deeply sorry to learn about your bad news. There is no advice for me to offer but only unconditional support and understanding. You now face a different and new challenge, which is to put this behind you and move on as normal.

After ten months of no gambling I relapsed this January. I couldn't forgive myself and have allowed it to eat me up all year. I have continued to relapse at least once per month every month this year and my most recent relapse was two days ago. My debt has tripled in that time and the guilt and shame and emotional burden is hard. The point I am trying to make is you need to forgive yourself and put this behind you. You are an inspiration to me and many on this forum and have shown us the way to long term abstinence. No word of a lie but when I relapse I usually read through your diary. I choose yours because I know that you have what it takes to change your life for the better. Do it again.

Keep your chin up and keep fighting.

Tomso.

Please stay in touch, phone on day and night as you say.

You are not superhuman, a very kind caring individual who has many vulnerable times as we all do and took a punch that was below the belt.

As you have told me, use it as a learning experience and move ever forward using the wishes and hugs from your cyber friends and family as motivation.

As I said, always in your corner with bucket, sponge and gum shield at the ready just as you have done for me.

xxx

Hi Duncs,

I can't find any words that have not already been said. Something you told me so many times though. Be kind to yourself. Truer words were never spoken. Don't dwell. Don't beat yourself up. Here for you. -joanxxxxx

Dunc,

Oh mate, so sorry.

At least you have told Sarah and your GA room-they'll be there for you in the days ahead.

Stay strong,

Keep in touch,

gazza

Amazed to read via another diary that you gambled recently Duncan.

I had put you in a category alongside members like ex-gambler jeff and russ1 and Gull who I thought there was just no chance of falling off the wagon.

Maybe just goes to show no-one is ever safe. I defnitely thought when people were able to say their life had changed and they were happy in abstinence and could live without gambling that the door was firmly closed.

My life isnt good but I can live without random gambling and there's no way I'm going back.

P.s. As you know from previous, I dont subscribe to the back at Day 1 scenario, you have come too far for that. But I understand you need to re-evaluate a lot of things now.

Don't know what to say that's been said already Duncan. Can I ask what part of the triangle opened up for you to have a punt ? Was it since you eased off the diaries with your welcoming words for so many ? Maybes Reading other misfortunes on here ?

Whatever it was im sure you've already put it behind you.

Your honesty on here im sure has raised a few eyebrows but just shows that them gremlins are never far away.

Chin up dude you are an inspiration to many.

You are in my thoughts.

Best wishes,

Winning post.