Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Thanks for the post Duncan, I feel really ashamed today as it is day 1 again....

Just wanted to say that when I was winning I was really greedy with the money, I never wanted to spend it on anything, I made up excuses about spending it and what a waste it'd be...

Now it's the reverse...

Thanks again, your post has given me some compensation...You are right about the people in the bookies..you simply cant trust em.

Morning diary.

Thanks fellas, let it go, the behavior of us whilst at it is truly disgraceful, in truth the folk that stood by me and continue to do so are the true heroes here . It is very sobering that we are the ones who take the plaudits the praise.

To bemoan my bad luck, other folk for my own shortfalls, a rouge machine were the make up of my gambling life mantra.

Woe is my, it was everybody's fault except my own

With wins I would peacock about, strutting my own designated self importance about, only concerned about gifting myself.

What a toss**er I let myself become.

Truth is Sarah held it all together, she lived with all the heartbreak, never asking for anything in return. Ever giving and always forgiving. In recovery my biggest wish is continue to share it. With other compulsive gamblers I find it a leveller, whatever our background we all need the same thing

Recovery.

It saddens me that I read of compulsive gamblers being

Elevated to status symbols, ones who make money from other folks addiction through literature and centres. Surely abstinence is a gift we all of us compulsive gamblers should give freely without question or financial gain.

For me the ones who need elevating are the innocent victims, the wives children bosses friends and families who have had destruction waged upon their lives, without waging a penny, more often just an unconditional love.

To all those folk. You are my inspiration

My unsung heroes.

Today and every day I salute you.

I thank you.

I hope you too find recovery, you deserve it.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler. No bet today

Stepping forward never back.

Hello Dunc's.

You have the ability to give me a lift when am feeling low.. I appreciate this. Thank you have a good day... S.A 🙂

Hi Duncs,

Thank you for sharing another wise insight of the problem with us. You are true inspiration and as SA just said, you liftus up even if not realizing it.

Thank you for being here

Unconditional

Peace to you and your lovely family.

Sandra x

Thanks D.

To your last message,I wrote a massive post then decided not to post it.

I think running away has been on my mind..Now I know that is all a gamble really is...An escape, everyone just wants to escape sometimes...

Now I'm back!

Hey Duncs

Just wanted to wish you all the very best for the New Year ahead. You have done amazingly well in your recovery and also your contributions to other diaries have been continuous, thoughtful and extremely helpful.

Have a lovely New Year's Eve and may that continue all through 2014.

Take care.

Feb.

Evening diary

Today has been most enjoyable, watched the drama moonfleet that was on over the past two days on catch up. Great to see ray winstone putting his acting skills to good use.

Made soup to rival Tomso's !!!! Lol.

And had cauliflower cheese for supper a gift to my body

After the recent meat festival lol.

Then darts tonight. Fantastic

All the kids are out tomorrow night so just me Sarah and the hounds. Hope to be in bed to see in the new year;))

All of this made possible because I made a choice to not wage a single penny on any forms of gambling.

I read dazzlers thread today. I want that.

I can have it, it is there for the taking.

Truth is it is there for each and every one of us and best

Of all it is completely free!!!

I did win because I did stop.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Afternoon diary.

So a year comes to a close, a year where I learnt a great

deal about myself and what recovery means to me.

For me the biggest lesson has been it is possible to accept things that you yourself don't have as your own belief

so long as they do not compromise own life.

I foolishly gave three hours of my life back to my addiction this year, three hours that caused me to rethink my whole approach to my own recovery. To re visit my recovery methods and re establish my own belief in myself.

Today I looked in the mirror and smiled at the fella looking back I have the belief and courage to keep taking from the gift I found

Abstinence. It gifts me something each day, an outlook that is made up of my own decisions and not those of a random outcome that gambling offers.

I know what recovery has to offer me, a better life and I fully admit to my shortcomings and continue to work on eradicating them and harnessing my strengths to benefit me and the folk I hold dear.

I still have my self imposed blocks in place, I proudly self excluded from many bookies I had not, again I have

Total belief in living a completely gamble free life and more so why I make that choice.

Again peace and harmony have returned to the 'mac'

Household, a focus on living life to it's greatest potential.

Funny that is not always about financial gain or worth it seems to today have a greater focus on value.

This all starts with a choice.

A choice to change what needs changing and maintain the families personality, something money cannot buy.

My youngest said to me this week, we don't live in a mansion dad but it is a palace, I understood a great deal from those few words and do feel a huge sense of achievement in how our kids are forming into adults.

So today I would like to list my New years honours

Recovery the first.

The gift that keeps giving.

My Sarah, Joe, lily-may callum my amazing family.

My mum and ed

GA you gave me the gift I recovery.

My many friends and colleagues for accepting me for the man I am.

The forum and the folk who too use it to aid there journeys.

So tomorrow I look forward to a new year.

I put this one to bed, the good outweighed the bad.

I will not accept gambling in any form, it simply is not worth the outcome.

Happy new year one and all.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

DMac,

Nice post. I like it a lot.

Have a Happy New Year.

Tomso.

Duncan

Happy new year

Thanks for all your support and wise words I have learned so much from you, I wish you a fantastic year ahead

Castle2

Morning diary.

Thanks for the kind words I am truly humbled.

So a new day a new year.

The weather has blown in again, for me I take comfort in the fact that I got a leg of lamb yesterday and the biggest decision is whether to make boulangere potatoes or bow to peer pressure

and go with straight roast lol!!

This year no resolutions, recovery is my one and only priority.

I promise myself I will gift it all I have.

I love this forum, I will attend GA and this year I will do all I can in my powers to maintain abstinence.

The gift that never stops gifting.

The impact recovery has on my life is unwavering.

On days were nothing much occurs to not gift a single penny to any form of gambling will be satisfaction enough.

On those days were there are not enough hours in them Recovery will be at the heart, my driving force.

Recovery means I take the opportunity presented to me, the best thing to happen in my adult life.

I make no bones about it, recovery saved my life.

So today I will enjoy it.

Tomorrow will be better for it.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler no bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan

I dont post much these days ,but still read almost every day.i noticed how much you offered help to lots of others whilst in your own recovery,and i think this is a must for you to continue with in your recovery.Your diary reads great.It seems to me that you enjoy helping others in their recovery as much as you do getting on with your own.for this i salute you.I also think your determination will get you through this.Sounds like you have a great family to fight for.Make 2014 your year kid.All the best Jeff.

Dunc,

Happy new year.

Best wishes for2014

Garza

Afternoon diary

Well had a debrief today regarding my work in December, all good and signed my invoices so payment will follow shortly.

I am glad the payment is coming in January. No thoughts of lavishing on unwanted, unnecessary xmas gifts or squandering my hard earnt. It will clear debt and then life will take on again a less stressful existence.

Sarah is back to work tomorrow and I am back to work on Wednesday, I am seeing a liver specialist on Tuesday hoping to get a grip on my health at last. I have learnt a great deal about how to look after myself in the past few months, something my addiction stopped me from caring about. It was a long way down my list of priorities. Truthfully living in general was.

Had a read around the forum, it looks like a few of the regular contributers are considering there place here, many talking of moving away from using their own diaries. I hope that it works for them, as I posted on new years day, myself I stopped writing and using the forum for all the wrong reasons.

It did get me thinking, since the first day I wrote in this diary there has been over a thousand diaries started, that to add to the five hundred that were already in use.

Quite a few diaries are posted by authors who have started a few diaries which I find interesting, the clean slate so to speak.

The overriding common theme on most pages back to the 66th were mine started have many diaries that don't get past an introduction, a welcome or two from existing members and then they fall from grace, sliding down the pages index never to be heard of again. GA works in the same fashion, many folk come once, never to be seen again.

Leaves me wondering, how many find continued recovery, there are quite a few who had a profound impact on my own recovery.

Kiethiow, ds123, ade, scampinious, womble, big Bessie, markman and Boston are to name but a few who all gifted me a great belief in what I am doing and how to achieve it.

Today I hope all of those guys, all compulsive gamblers are today enjoying life without their destructive addiction playing any part of their lives other than that of recovery.

Recovery really is the combined knowledge and passing of that knowledge freely to whomever wants to take it.

Every day this forum gifts me new knowledge, given freely without pressure or prejudice.

Me I am honoured to be able to take it.

The recovery doors revolve, I hope all those folk old and

New never forget that.

Today it helped me again greatly in making a decision, one that will without doubt enhance my tomorrow.

That choice to abstain and maintain.

My name is duncs I am a compulsive gambler no bet today.

Stepping forward never back.

Dunc

I have never posted about this but just reading your post I too had health problems in 2012 which ended with a visit to a liver specialist. He was unable to diagnose any problem and concluded that I just must have picked up a bug which lasted longer than normal. (for over a year I felt over lethargic and weak and blood tests showed liver as only area of slight concern but even then not consistent results).

My own research online turned up amongst other things that many gamblers suffer from liver problems due to continuous stress and worry over debt. I do wonder if my improved recovery has also helped my health or whether the doc was right about it being a bug.