Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

Just a little input: Gamblng sucks and IS WASTE OF TIME!!

You are real inspiration my friend!! Keep it up, onwards we go by makng the right choice each day..complete abstinence to better our lives :-))) we are the winners dear soldier..you, me and 99.9% of real fighters on this site, keep ur belief going.

Keep it up stay calm and carry on!!!

All the best

Speak later

Sandra xx

Duncan

you miss the point. Or choose to. You elect to take a point of view which you claim to be the view of 8000 people. There are many more who would take a different view. I made the same point to Robby on his thread and he simply acknowledged it, didn't get on his high horse.

The term 'waste of time' can only be applied as an opinion of ones own experience of an activity, not the experience of others. As an example, I would not and have never smoked and would view it perhaps as a health risk, but I would never call it a waste of time as millions of others enjoy it.

Afternoon gamcare

My name is Sarah, to those who read duncs thread you will know I am his wife.

Duncs doesn't know I am writing upon his thread as he is enjoying a game of darts with his boys and I feel compelled to make a contributing post.

I read and share recovery with duncs, today upon reading the post which stated a horse that won and could be tenaciously linked to him. Alarm bells rang, the feeling of, oh not again came straight to my mind. Why is there a post of no relation to recovery but one of gambling on his thread.

Is it a tipping line?? Why??

All questions I felt justified to ask myself.

Then I read the reply Duncs wrote and my fears abated.

Was the post out of context? For me the answer a resounding yes.

Duncs puts his heart and soul into his recovery today I am so proud of how far he has come, but I am under no illusion that every day he has a choice to make, to which I try to understand how hard this is.

Duncs is obsessed by numbers and know only too well about the three percent statistic regarding continued abstinence and how he wants to find himself and many others there too.

His commitment to helping others is relentless and I am proud of that too.

So to the point I am posting.

Why is his opinion being questioned??

Gambling is a waste of time.

An opinion I share and believe me when I say I feel qualified to do so.

Why should that opinion be changed, to suit one other.

This forum is and has been a constant source of inspiration and my resolve to continue this journey grows along with Duncs.

He writes about peeling layers of addiction to reveal his true self.one in which I have seen his honesty grow too.

So to end I conclude with this.

Add my name and that of our kids and family to those who say

Gambling is a waste of time.

I couldn't think of a better place for that opinion to carry a message.

The same I would say would be an answer if we went to a cancer ward and asked if smoking was a waste of time??

I am sure they would reply yes.

When talking to other families who have had addiction waged upon there lives, they often comment on the change in the person through recovery, from where I stand this is wholesale and for the better.

I wish you all well in your own journeys and hope you all respect each others, as this as an innocent victim of this addiction I have had to learn equally.

I hope it is understood why, because first hand I witness how wasteful it is.

Regards Sarah mcquilken. Wife of a recovering compulsive gambler.

Gambling is a waste of time to those who have wasted time and effort on it. It is also many other things! If someone offers a different opinion then that is their prerogative. But to come on here and challenge someone's "opinion" is outrageous. Recovery is many things for different people all striding towards a common aim. We all come here to get better or abstain and maintain. Picking arguments and fights is not healthy for anyone as resentments can push us to self destruct. We have to respect that others have differing views and leave it at that. I do not come on here to tell someone how it should be done. I share my views and experiences hoping that someone might find some inspiration to last another day out without wasting their time on gambling. PS Thanks for popping by on my diary Duncan

Just a quick post to say thank you for keeping your diary and (with or without the debates) letting us take inspiration from you recovery. I agree that gambling is a waste of time but wanted to post because I only came to that conclusion when I lapsed this morning. In my life gambling has been many things to me. It has been an innocent and enjoyable way of passing the time, an escape from life directions that upset me, an exciting and exhilarating experience and the cause of shame, debt and heartache. I have been fantasising for months about how it would feel to lapse, to gamble. I succumbed today and have never felt so bored, so wasteful in my entire life. The realisation that gambling is a waste of time is, I think, a key step on the road to recovery. If I wasn't a compulsive gambler I may have a different opinion but I am so I congratulation you and wish you well. Jx

Evening diary.

Well I had a wonderful afternoon of arrows with my two boys, must have taught my eldest too much as he was the run away victor, fair play to him, shows what practice can do.

For me a useful afternoon of formulating numbers, another good use of my fascination of them and all with nothing but an enjoyable outcome.

Thanks for all the posts, my wife's post humbled me greatly and I feel she has too come a long way on this journey.

Regards 'debates' today I did not intend to enter one, in fact I refuse to be drawn into one.

Six weeks ago I decided to abstain from the possibility of that happening by not contributing to a thread anymore on here because I believed after reading a threat of physical assault was posted that I wished to carry on recovery without that element, a choice purely for myself, I believe my right to do so.

It would be fair to say today is for me it's chalk and cheese.

No common ground can I find because if it was to happen then one party would compromise their own belief.

Gambling is for me in any form unacceptable, the outcome of which I know what would result. Devastation.

That I will not allow to happen.

Because I am in charge of my own mind.

Something abstinence gifted, something I refuse to compromise.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

duncan,can i just say thanks for popping up on my blog your words helped so much more than you can imaging,

as for gambling that now is a four letter word as far as im concerned.

my partner and i had the discussion today and has you said it was hard but at least she still here.

she even brought me a scratch card when she put her lottery on,but then she asked me if i wanted it,this was my reply "no love but thanks for thinking of me but i dont think thats ok for me."

i dont want anything to trigger me off and now she knows that anything can, she 100% behind me in this.

again thanks for your words they helped

monkey

Evening Duncs, Sarah and every other poster......

I'm not going to add to the debate on what is and what isn't a waste of time........would be a bit hypocritical for a guy who just drove 450 miles round trip to see his team get gubbed today!!

What I am going to focus on is value.......specifically the value that a certain Duncan M adds to my life and the lives of many many people on this forum. I am baffled by posts from earlier today......but inspired by the replies from the man himself. Talk about control, talk about humility, talk about restraint......and talk about the amazing support and love from his wife.

I cannot question the thinking of others in terms of what they post......that's the glory of this forum. It's about writing what you feel, taking what you want from the words of others and retaining or discarding their thoughts and opinions and allowing them to become your reality or conversely your forgotten thoughts.

I guess where I'm going with this in relation to you Duncs is this........I used to retain 100% of what was written on your diary......but after today mr numbers man, that's reduced to around 99.8%......but that's not due to anything written by you, or Mrs M for that matter.

Your words, behaviours, morals and principles inspire me fella. It's all worth retaining. You turn up the volume in the music that is my life and you help my turn down the volume on the negatives......especially the gambling music.

I hope you and Sarah and the kids are all ok and I'll be saying my prayers for news to come for you in the near future.

Take care Yoda,

Mr Brightside

DMac,

Marvellous to see you growing in your recovery. You continue to only see the positives in your life, which can be difficult for negative people to understand. I am a positive person so I get it. Life is good because we continue to change for the better. Others wish to remain in a bad place. It is my opinion that that is a bad idea for the mind and soul. Life is short and to be enjoyed every day and I intend to life my life to the max.

Tomso.

Morning diary

Smiler recently posted that the new authors on the forum are the most important, for they are in need of support

the most but in equal measure they gift resolve to others by sharing that raw feeling of loss and the devastation it wages.

I agree wholeheartedly and it brings huge pride and personal belief to know that contributing to there journey is helping. The words written by myself are not anything of my invention but the kind words gifted to me whilst I travel my own journey.

Long may this continue.

I have awoken after a wonderful peaceful sleep, one uninterrupted by the ill thinking my addiction gifted me on too many occasions, the affects addiction had on my personal life fade into the shadows further.

I am only too aware they lurk in those shadows, searching for weakness to capitalise upon.

Just for today I will enjoy my state of mind, my conviction to recovery and my own belief again driving my relentless passion for recovery.

Right hounds to walk, then a darts re match with my boys then a meeting scheduled this afternoon.

All made possible by a choice

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler no bet today.

Well said Dunc's ... new authors contributions keeps everything real and reminds us all about what we don't want to return to.

Hope your enjoying your day am sure you are. Regards... S.A

Well looks like the end is in sight. Of the floods I mean not me although much longer at my son's and who knows.

Frustrated I let it get to me but at least my precautions saved the day.

Thinking of you and new venture and fingers crossed the start of something big and exciting ( I don't believe that other things cannot fill the void). Watched programme about burger boys in Southampton setting up their business and thought of you - over a million turnover in the first year - we used to have our own businesses and easily as exciting as gambling any day when you are your own boss and can be creative.

Think we all need support, old and new alike and certainly grateful for yours recently.

xxx

Hello mr mac new to site haven't read all your diary but dropped by last week and I was thinking of you and yours . Uric acid / lipids hard to control hope all sorted with consultant. Hitthefanx

Evening Duncs

Not a big post tonight, but just checking in to your diary to say hi, thinking of you and the good Sarah and of course the kids. Hope today went well.

Take care Yoda,

Mr B

Afternoon Diary

Thanks for the kind words of support folks, I had my visit to see my consultant yesterday, yes I have liver disease, there are lots of issues physically I need to deal with, some through medication for life and others lifestlye issues I can address to make sure I see out more years than my current physical state will gift me.

A cold hard sobering visit, many more to come over the ensuing weeks.

My mind and resolve are strong, I am up for the task in hand.

So read a post on new futures thread, cant get it out of my mind, by all accounts there is a cult of members here, they believe in only one way, they only give advice to flour their own egos and all have become sheep.

Well for one if that way is total absinence, to arrest the punt for life, gift others the opportunity the same, all for free then where do we sign up?????????

I am in, all in in fact, do you think there maybe a uniform?? tshirt, car window sticker or keyring?? oh I love to promote the greater good.

For me that is to arrest the punt, that way I get to focus on what is really important.

ME and mine

Gambling is a waste of time, I should know I went all in with that for twenty years, it left me high and dry, moved on each time I ran out of funds.

Today it lurks in the corner.

I might throw a dart at it!!

My name is Duncs

Compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back.