Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning Dunc.

Hope this finds you well. Thanks for your post a few days back.

Take care,

gazza

Evening diary

I read an interesting insight to the mind of the non gambler,one all be it a victim of the destruction of gambling last night

Shellyb wrote that she believed her husbands type of gambling was not addiction but 'an sane life style choice' the logic being that an addict needs instant gratification were the compulsive gambler plots and pre plans episodes of gambling in her husbands case.

a very thought provoking post.

For me to be honest I don't care for what folk label me and my own shortcomings,today life for me is about dealing with the sh##it my actions waged upon my life and those I hold dear.

What I do not understand is why comparisons are made between physical addictions and the compulsion to gamble.

There is no comparison to be made between any physical addiction and the compulsion to gamble in my mind,it is for me like comparing Dogs to cats,they are quite simply different breeds.

The bottom line for me is with the compulsion to gamble is it is all to often hidden or accepted ,not just by the industry but families alike.

it is for me a great shame that I have met more compulsive gamblers who are scared of being found out for being a compulsive gambler than they are of the next punt.

All this adds up to another victory for the industry,because they use this knowledge in my mind to state 'there is not a problem for us to address'

look at the industry spokesperson who without doubt reads this forum.

They in my mind would quote several points to there gain,couple that with the fact that many folk would prefer to remain anonymous than speak out about the destruction that gambling wages upon too many lives and it all adds up to the issue of compulsive gambling being kicked under the carpet.

We are labelled the weak willed,no self control,losers who ruin the pleasurable act of gambling for the millions who enjoy it!!

I have been told in my life whilst gambling to 'get a grip'

Get a f*****g grip,f**k me gambling had a grip so tight for twenty years of my life it choked the life out of me,I did not choose the lifestyle,f**k for twenty years I wasted the opportunity to live

Why??

Because pigeon hole it however you like,I found myself compelled to gamble,gambling taunted me,had me believe it was my best friend,it was a secret life,because it is bred that way,f**k my fathers compulsion today still lives on,accepted,well to some it is not seen as a problem more a foolish choice,most of all to the industry we all have fed,either financially or through the acceptance that 'your a gambler' we are the lifeblood,the easy money,they must love folk like us.

Today I don't bare the chains of my compulsion,today I know that gambling is totally unacceptable in my life,I took the power of the knowledge on offer

That gambling is a complete waste of time.

Today I do hold many scars,those I hold bare for all to see.

What ever you label it

It will f**k not only your life up but that of many innocent victims to boot.

Shelly b I thank you again for your input,I hope it serves your own therapy as well as it did my own.

To grow the resolve and educate the mind further.

My name is Duncan McQuilken I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Afternoon Diary

Well the good and bad times come in equal measure reading around the forum today.

For me it is the greatest dose of medicine A man could gift himself,a few minutes reading good or bad gifts the mind that gambling is purely and simply

A WASTE OF TIME (thanks robby box)

My name is duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Dunc's.... your spot on in what you say. A little read of the forum reminds us of what we don't want to return to. It seems to me that I always need a little reminder, because its so easy to forget one's own gambling misery. Like you say gambling is a complete waste of time and energy. Hope your enjoying your day, regards... S.A 🙂

Evening Diary

well back to work again today,had a great day up until the point 'Mike' re-entered the room

Mr I know it all,he has the trump card to out trump you, 'if you have a black cat,his is blacker'

Oh and if you make a sensible observation,one which is without doubt true then he will belittle it,funny though because he never backs up the observations with fact or evidence,just bile followed by more bile.

Well 'Mike' life is about making choice's,we are all presented with them every day,the one we make is the one we live by,you can keep your's fella,it is pure bile,the elephant in the room.

I accept he will be ever present,like a constant bad smell,so I just continue to open the window and let the sh#ite float out.

Funny because he once talked about how we form our own 'group' and want everyone to follow,but with every ridiculous comment he preaches it would seem he would like us to believe.

We all have a 'mike' or two in our lives,in some ways they gift further therapy because through giving the speech about how wrong I am about the way I approach life,because it makes me see clearer than before that I no longer look over the fence and instead of living in envy and through those green eyes I know my own 'choice' rewards me.

I hope the forum is in good shape,my thoughts went out to 'robby box' yesterday

I hope he listens to his own wise words

'gambling is a waste of time'

Those words have a profound effect on my well being today

Because those words gifted the choice not to waste my day on the 'random' act that is gambling,the outcome of any punt I would hold no control over and if by chance it came in it would simply not be big enough.

Because the mantra I know only too well

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

the words the addiction sweeps under the carpet,gambling bred an arrogance to loss,it justified the losses as part of life.

For me today two folk helped my 'choice' being the right one

I did not wage a single penny on the act of gambling

Thanks 'robbybox'

And thanks 'Mike' your bile feeds my desire to live.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Mr mac,

Thanks for popping by, lovely to see your back in work and I'm sure pushing yourself to the max already.

I do like the bile, like you it fills me with further confirmation that the choice I make not to gamble one single penny is the right one for me, it has served me well for over two years. It took me nearly 20 years to actually get it into my thick skull that I can't ever win because I can't stop.

So now I just don't start, nice and simple.

You take care me mc, woody isn't to well at the moment he got bit by an Akita on his ear and had to have stitches last week. But lots of cuddles and long walks will have him on the mend soon.

Woody says woof woof to the boys.

Take care

Blondie x

Evening diary

Days like today come through making the right choice in life,for me that starts and ends with not throwing a single penny at any form of gambling in any way shape or form. f**k the result of any punt has a random outcome to begin with and add the fact I simply cannot stop once I place a bet.

So in not placing one again I win.

Today I spent my winnings

I walked with Sarah and the hounds before six,across the hil#l,the view priceless,the company breathe taking!!

then went to work,a day working alone,oh the joy,no mike to try and P#iss on my fire today!!

lol, I was done mid afternoon

Home to cook supper a delicious pasta with smoked bacon,chilli and chorizo and some garlic flatbread all washed down with milkshakes.

Then I had a meeting with the boss,I have the next three months schedule,happy days plenty of work and I can do it at a pace that will benefit my health and earn me a decent wage to boot.

Home in time to take the hounds over the top of the h#ill once more to watch them do what they do best and to enjoy the beautiful sunset.

No winning punt would buy a day like that,in fact a win would mean a day like that would simlpy not happen

Because I would be sat infront of a machine feeding note after note into it

right up until the walk of shame

So not a minute wasted on the biggest waste of time,

The act of gambling

Oh and to ice the cake I had a lovely email from our Sandra which raised a huge smile and my dear friend the Robman texted to say he is commited to recovery again

The gift that never stops giving.

Me I will never stop taking

The price

No a single penny

Simply a 'CHOICE'

The result one of life's winners

Duncs stepping forward never back.

The same is on offer to each and every compulsive gambler,great to see so many

Abstain and maintain

Morning Diary

Seems I have been talking 'rubbish' on the forum again,gifting the wrong knowledge to folk

Well I will continue to do so,because I have a choice to do so.

The bottom line is we all have choice's to make each day,mine greatfully is one that comes through the amazing education that total abstinence has gifted me,life does improve,life is forefilling,life is wonderful and I wish to share the experience with anyone who wants it

Gambling is totally unacceptable in any form in my life,truth is it makes me an ar#se

But then pitching your life on the 'random' outcome of an event you hold no control over coupled with the fact you cannot stop when you bet in black and white is as my fellow gamcarer stated correctly

A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME

Once again I am owing to the forum,it gifts my knowledge

that the 'choice' I make is the one which renders me a winner.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Duncs thanks for the post.

Deffo won't punt on my success of 3 weeks abstaining NO Way mate. You know for years i didn't believe what you keep always saying there is rewards far more than gambling. I never believed it because i couldn't stop so i thought what the hell with it, im a loser and that's that. Until recently everything you write now i GET it i FINALLY get it.. I reward my days each day with my family and no ill feelings. I am not going back anytime soon if ever. I m serious i have pretty much every defense up, the one i will find hard to control is complacency im sure of that. Gambling what a waste of time!! ugh so long to figure that out mate.

CL

Ah, duncs man, your overwhelming optimism is a tonic. Glad you've been able to come into agreement with work over a work schedule that offers more balance for you, after all, you are someone who clearly works to LIVE! Definitely not the other way around.

Now that England are gone I hope you can really enjoy the World Cup purely for the football...I'm still loving it, and after Clint "Warrior" Dempsey's heroics in the first two games I'm chuffed the USA managed to knock Portugal out. The Dutch v Spain was amazing, but they've not been so great since that game. Belgium could be better I think, but I think I still fancy Brazil to make it to the final...and win.

All the best

Ryan

morning diary

Thanks for popping by Ryan,great to read recovery treats you well.

Not been around for a couple of days,working hard,enjoying the ability to do so,the rewards of which to be able to commit to repaying debt,debt caused by the selfish act of my gambling life,to be able to honor it fills me with a great resolve to accept my failings and fully understand why gambling in any form will have no part to play in my life.

Yes it beats away somewhere in the depths of my mind but that's where it will stay.

Partly due to this amazing forum,the good and bad equally gifting my mind to the fact that gambling really is a waste of time,it for me would gift only one thing if I was foolish enough to gift it a single penny.

MISERY.

I was reminded of how this addiction is a leveller this week in my GA room, a lad walked through the doors for the first time who works hard for minimum wage is stuck in the cycle of loss,progressive loss of his hard earned.

Which is worse the fella who plays professional sport who comes to our room,earns tens of thousands a week,waged that and more or that lad,works in a fast food joint,earns less in a week than the footballer does in an hour,this lad wages all he earns in the blind hope of escape,he can't afford to wash his clothes,eat properly.

For me and everyone else in the room there is no difference,neither are more affected by their own addiction,this addiction is not measured by financial loss.

They are both equally f****d by it,the compulsion leaves them both with the same feelings of self loathing,they both lie,cheated themselves of a life because they both followed the same mantra

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

This compulsion is a great leveller

It equally destructs lives no matter how much you have,surely that is the bottom line it will take it,then more if it can.

Funny because at work this week 'Mike' had again decided it was my turn again for some of his analysis/he mission to want to get me to accept that gambling is a harmless,fun,entertaining pastime for the pleasure of many and I should embrace it,after all my addiction is 'not that bad' 'not that deep rooted'

I love the way he judges me,through his own ignorant words,littered with inconsistency's.

I myself accept the fact he will never understand me,I enjoy the fact that he enjoy's baiting me,at least that way the rest of the work force can go about what they do best,living.

Regarding accepting gambling, me I will go as far as this

I accept it will exist,I accept that it's lure is powerful.

But at no point will I accept it is harmless.

f**k it reaped enough damage upon my life to be in my opinion educated to say

It is a waste of time

GAMBLING IS A WASTE OF TIME.

That gifts my resolve,it makes me smile,it gifts me the ability to LIVE

Mike, well Mike is always going to add to that resolve,he will keep enriching my life through his delivery of 'bile'

the honorable Smiler was right when he wrote 'you will receive some amazing gifts where and when you least expect it'

Thanks fella!!!!!!

Off to work shortly

Smiling of course

Why not I got to awake from a deep well earned sleep next to my beautiful wife,my soulmate

Oh and a sneaky couple of whippets too!!! lol

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs

Thanks for your message

Have missed your diaries last couple of days giving out your wisdom and knowledge and experiences of the day

Don't be workng too hard at work debts will be paid once we committ ourselves to not gamble we also commit ourselves to paying off our debts because we know that is the way forwards and you are doing it with such determination and strength you should be very very proud of yourself

To maintain these commitments we need to be healthy

Work rest and play not work work work

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hey Duncs

I just wanted to say thank you for your lovely post on my diary. I would also like to add that I really admire your tenacity throughout your journey. I mentioned in my last post, my 3 year struggle with gambling. I really admire people like you, who have struggled with this addiction for many, many years but have come out the other end. It takes real courage, strength and determination to do that. You Duncs, have all those qualities and because of these, you are truly benefiting from it.

Take care and have a lovely weekend.

Lady Feb.

Hi Duncs,

Selfishly, I was a little worried when I didn't see an update from you. Yours is one of the first diaries I peek into each morning. Reading your thread is like good medicine. I don't know why the Mike's in the world feel the need to yank your chain but, I love how you kick past them and just leave them in your dust! Some folks are just walking celebrations of ignorance and all we can do is live along side of them. You my friend are a shining example of what life can be when we say no to gambling and yes to LIFE. Once again my friend I raise my cup of joe way way up. To LIFE, Duncs! -joanxxxx

Hi Duncs,

Back to take my place in the Cheers bar!

Made up you are doing so well!

Womble xxx