I now exactly which post your referring too now. Funny i wrote on that persons personal Diary too i don't agree with any of it too. I just can't believe how much he contradicts himself. Sorry but sports betting is gambling and yet talks about GA but is here which is a room full of CG too. I was polite as usual but i disagree with the post in every form. I won't get into with anyone here as it's just an opinion but contradicting is just lol.
LW
Morning Diary,
Lifeswinner fella I took offence to a post written upon Tomso's thread, because the very nature of it was a personal attack on the foundation of GA,as I wrote yesterday the very place that really did save my life,those folk showed me that there is a life without the random act of gambling in it.
Funny I slept like a baby,content,happy,tired from a days full on graft,I awoke smiling,my boys have headed off to London to hyde park,my Lily has gone off to work,after some cinnamon toast and a financial bail out from Mum and Dad,I am off to work today,overtime all weekend happy days!!
All this and money in the bank to fall back upon,the cupboards full and bills paid
Why??
Because the gift of recovery showed me LIFE
If I was still at it,weak,gambling to try and find a pipe dream,gambling for myself,my own self gratification,the selfish act that I pursued for twenty years full on then none of those things this morning would happen.
Today I can see I was all of those things,selfish,self centered,pretty vile all round,gambling made me arrogant too,it made me see things only 'my way'
Today I embrace what I have learnt,from the many sources,some I have not enjoyed,but good medicine all the same.
As Robby box wrote upon these pages
'Gambling is a complete waste of time'
So the random act with an outcome that I don't control has no part to play in my life,because those simple words that Robbybox shared are true,it is simple,I have a choice to make.
Maybe I am 'brainwashed'
Tell you what I recommend it whole heartedly because my life today is one to behold,I am a recovering compulsive gambler,my choice really only matters for me,it doesn't matter to any of you if I gamble,that is the same the other way around.
But I will continue to embrace the gift that is total abstinence
It took away the arrogance,it breeds humility,it breeds a desire to live.
I am all in
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
Just a line to say thank you for being you
xxx
Hi duncs,
Thank you for being the inspiration of this site......In my mind that makes you "Great Uncle Bulgaria" Hope that made you smile (it did me)
As another poster said, and also from my heart....
Thank you for just being you!
Much love to you and your amazing family.
Sue xxxx
Evening Diary
Well thanks for for the kind words folks,we are in my mind all stood side by side,together all choosing
LIFE.
I had a good day yesterday,worked hard came home and promptly fell a kip on the couch,awoke in the small hours and put myself to bed, lol, bemoaning to Sarah that she left me there to hog the bed!! to which I was told she gave up trying to awake me!!
So today I had a meeting early this morning and the rest of the day was mine to relax and rest up for the week ahead.
I read the observer from yesterday, thought of my friend Blondie whilst watching the cycling on the tv,boy they put my efforts to shame lol,I could see me toodling up the Mall on my boneshaker three days after the finish lol!!! nice to see that the world of gambling has not made it's way into cycling sponsorship Fantastic!!!!
So july is upon us my beloved wife is winding down to finish another school year,a good bit of time off coming up for her,time in which she can rest,relax and not worry about what I am up to,that is something I am very proud of,that she can plan to have a few days at mums and not live in fear of what she will return to,the carnage that for twenty years I would leave for her to pick up the pieces of,the robbing peter to pay paul,the covering up losses to hide the shame,the secret that was kept that way.
She would forgive me,I would lie and promise my luck would change!!!
Luck really doesn't equate into the life of a compulsive gambler does it???
Because even if lady luck appeared the win would be gifted back and with plenty more ontop.
I read something today about the five things folk regret in life.
One was not giving to their own wants and feeding others instead.
f**k that was but another excuse to allow me to gamble on relentlessly
All selfishly
Today I give all I have to all I do
Why??
Because I can
Nothing blinds it like the futile act of gambling.
The total waste of time
Still if this is the results of a brainwashing
I await the next service wash with great anticipation
Because the result is a life
One I love,warts and all!!!
My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler
No bet today
Funny riding home from my meeting today I rode past four lots of shopping arcades,stopping at each in the quest to find a shop with selling a french lavender bush for the garden,a bookies in each one,to which I raised a smile to,because the last time I entered each one,I gifted myself a win!!
How
Self exclusion
That feels good to write
Stepping forward never back
Another wonderful positive post Duncs!
Just a thought tho, My last post I mentioned "great uncle bulgaria"
Well after you said about the curls am thinking more
"Madamme Chaulait" (spelling duh)
Womble....Off giggling now xxx
Hey Duncs
Loving to read your posts and every time I get so much wisdom and strength out of them 🙂 thank you for sharing, you are great inspiration for all of us on here.
Thank you for your support, it means a lot, I am very pleased to keep fighting alongside you.
All the best to u and ur loved ones
Lets keep making the right choice and choose life 😉
S x
Hi Dunc.
Have not read your diary in a while but catching up on the last few days of it is enough to make anyone want to quit.
Your positivity shines through and shows us people that have only stopped for a while how good life can be without gambling.
I for one am very excited about my future and I have you to thank for making me feel like that. Keep up the good work.
Rst.
Hi Duncs
Your diary makes so much sense
It gives me so much thought to my own recovery and I think you are quite an extraordinary man to reveal your honest thoughts and feelings on here and I know you are working all hours to reduce your debt (I thought men were different to opening up lol) I am not going to salute you I am going to say simply like others Thankyou for being you because you are quite unique in this forum and I hope you continue to be so
As my son from down South says your booming
Suzanne xx
Evening diary
thanks for the kind words folks, I am truly humbled by them.
Communication is a vital part of my life,in the good and bad times I understand the value of talking,writing getting my feelings out of the box so they do not fester and turn to fuel for my addiction to feed off of.
The truth is the offer of a punt presents itself most days,addiction slyly trying to weave a path to the front of my brain,to take over the proceedings once again.
I know how it starts,lottery,friendly 'I bet you's' and then boom I would be full on back at it,the lies,deceiving,cheating myself and others to feed the lust that lives within me,that deep rooted imbalance that still manifests itself in my brain,like a bad smell.
I am and always will be a compulsive gambler,there is no time off for good behavior,no cure or anything that will take away the plain fact that for life for me the first thing I have to decide each day is whether or not to gift my life to my addiction.
That choice is for me made easier by living life through a glass half full,nothing is insurmountable nothing can knock me down,beat me into thinking
I will find the answer in a bet.
f**k I repeated that cycle for twenty years,doing the same thing over and over expecting the result to change.
Today I have changed,recovery changes me,my outlook,my appearance my confidence all grow with continued abstinence.
A fella I know and respect a great deal because he is very honest once said to me
'there is only one thing worse than being skint,that's looking skint'
That was me,to engaged in the act of gambling to see what I had become,disheveled,unclean,worse of all uncaring.
dark circles around my eyes not the mark of endless graft but there because I gifted myself a constant mind f**k,sleepless nights a side effect,to selfish to buy new clothes because that would take away the possibility to gamble.
The truth is today as it was twenty years ago there is enough through my salary to facilitate a moderate to good standard of living,it's just addiction had taken over my mind.
It is there as it has been for as long as I can remember,today I live in harmony with it.
I am not afraid to talk about it,I am an addict,the shame comes when I hide behind that fact.
Recovery is a true gift,I celebrate it every day,each day I rejoice at the fact Today I won,that tomorrow I face the same choice and the outcome will be worth shouting about if I make the right choice.
For me that drum is worth beating
In life,my life my recovery has I know had a profound effect on the lives of others,ironically my gambling life had a profound effect on the same people.
We all stand together in the sound knowledge that we share the spoils of our efforts
That starts with communication,honesty and a life without fear.
I no longer need to be afraid of the fact I am a compulsive gambler,it is not a dirty little secret,it doesn't hold the keys
I do.
That choice is there for each and every one of us,we stand in my mind as equals
It is truly inspiring to stand by your sides
Duncs stepping forward never back
No bet today,why would I what a waste it would be.
Hey Duncs,
Great to hear from you and thanks so much for your kind words. You have been a great source of inspiration for so many folks on here! Myself included, and I thank you for all your support in the last 18 months you have given me and your words of wisdom that lift us up!
Chicagoguy
Morning diary
Mr chicago,fella it is great to see the rewards of your huge efforts to gift yourself a better life gift you that reward,keep making the right choice my friend.
I always read a great deal of threads before I write anything, I love to take on board the great lessons on offer,there is nothing better to gift a mans resolve to read how life improves without the destruction of gambling.
It leads me to the same question,a question that stabs addiction right in the middle of it's heart.
'Why give up all this for a punt??'
The answer is gambling really does offer nothing,there really is absolutely no reason why gambling would enhance what life gifts,in fact life will just deteriorate with gambling in it,financially,mentally in every way my life would be disrupted in a negative way if I choose to have a punt today.
So again I thank every one of you that takes the time to gift my resolve to make the right choice,the best medicine in the world for a compulsive gambler.
The lid is off my bottle
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
Hi Duncs
You are so right why should we want to do something that is so destructive to everything to our life
With abstaining and maintaining we are having a life that is honest and sane
That definitely makes sense
Keep making that right choice
Suzanne xx
Hi Duncs,
Couldn't fly by the forum and not say Hi!
You personally have helped me in my recovery more that you know. Just reading your words make me think about certain things in my life and put them into perspective. Nothing is so great that we can't overcome!
Psssss.....Just need some help with my amazon music addiction now!!!
Womble xx
Morning Diary
So pleased to see the results of continued abstinence rewarding many folk on the forum,to arrest the destruction of gambling in what ever way works and then to find the desire to want to share it,to not judge other folk and to continue to seek a better life is the self given act of recovery.
I would love to see it in the 3d form,through a media advert,to show folk that there is another way,that abstinence is worth the effort,the hard work and the rewards are ceaseless.
Socially it is healthy,financially it is healthy and most important mentally I see strength.
Funny thing is I can't see anyone supporting advertising how damaging gambling is,it really is a dirty little secret,that for me is when it has all the power.
f**k all my gambling life,it choked me,it strangled me into silence,it bred a form of shame,a shame I couldn't talk about,it made me feel like a loser,but compelled me to gamble on.
For what??
The chance of a big win,f**k I had a few of them,but they where never enough to satisfy my self gifted greed,my life measured by my gambling wealth,to the outside world a successful gambler,inside a dirty truth hidden,
I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.
a mantra lived for twenty years.
Well I have news on that front
Today I really can't stop the winning,I made a choice to make that possible
To arrest the punt,for me all forms of gambling means I really am a winner,the feeling is fantastic,to not have to hide behind some crock of sh#it excuse that I am loving all things gambling!!
The truth is I let addiction in,it bred that bull#s#hit into my mind.
Yes it still lives there,yes it always will,but I hold the key
Honesty,no shame,humility and a passion for life
All gifted by three magical words
NO BET TODAY
Duncs stepping forward never back
Abstain and maintain
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