Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

your right 10 quid got loads of satisfaction , hundreds of thousands of quids , got sweat f**k all .

was writing on billys diary , and noticed your post think we were writing at same time but i 1 finger type lol, anyway point , couldnt help read your post very shocking i think is the word , didnt realise it took you that far down the road , i myself sometimes had those thoughts but dont think i would of gone through with it , although i didnt get to where you got to , but yet this shows how far you have come , WELL DONE seriously well done , i did at times in my head weirdly plan moving back to my mom and dads seeing in my head there dissapointment , very very weird now really, as that surely tells us in my head i was gonna let this addiction take everything , my house car business , bank account credit rating , television , pride , hardwork everything , and never thought of it until now but i can still remember without realising it thinking this s**t . that samaritan though he right permenant solution for a passing problem , we win as we not gamble

Morning Diary

I am just in from a mornings graft,went out with my beloved hounds in the dark for a run,then went to work whilst the rest of the town slept lol,got done what was needed and in doing so freed up the rest of the day,riding across town I bumped into Hovis our youngest whippets previous owner,an old boy who races whippets,he was walking his 'prize' whippet,she is reputed to be the fastest whippet in the country,we stood exchanged pleasantries,he is made up that we have given one of his dogs a good home,he paid for hovis's leg to be repaired before we got him,he seemed like a true gent and without doubt has a huge love for the Whippet!!

I did say as I rode off that we would take all his unwanted dogs lol,Sarah was made up by the thought!!! lol

So yesterday I met an old friend he was back in Pompey to visit his daughters,he moved away after being released from prison,another victim of addiction,not gambling but drugs,his life went from one of a very hard working man to one of ruin in the space of two years through drug addiction.

He looks a shadow of his former self,his body ravaged by the drugs.

He I am pleased to write is twenty months clean now,he attends rehab two days a week and is following the twelve step programme,trying to rebuild his life one day at a time.

We spoke at length about the twelve steps something I relate to greatly,we spoke of the 'higher power' something we share a view of it has to come from within the addict,you cannot be given it,you have to find it through the efforts of recovery.

We spoke about sharing recovery too,the good and bad there is without power in sharing.

The outcome is we are both living life from a glass half full

We both understand that recovery is something to respect,to cherish to continue working at

There is no end game,not a day we can stop recovering,but that being said it is a ride neither of us want to stop

Today I choose to keep the wheels rolling.

Above all today I wish I could take the pain my honorable friend SA is feeling,in a way I feel I am,

Together we stand

Duncs stepping forward never back

No bet today

Hey Duncs my friend,

Nothing puts a smile on my face more than coming to your diary for some inspiring words....Thankyou.

Psssssss...you would of been proud of me today....read my latest diary entry.

Much love to you and your family as always

Sue x

Morning Diary

I worked a 14 hour day yesterday,and I am facing the same today,the reward will then be a couple of days off.

This is hard on my body,but great for my mind.

Because I made a choice to gift my mind the sense to again see

'Gambling is a total waste of time'

Without it there is an ability to live a better life,one free of self gifted devastation

One I take today without regret

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs

Your strength determination and positivity shines brightly through your post

Thankyou for inspiring me today

Suzanne xx

Morning Diary

well I got through the work schedule I committed myself to,it will enable me to spend a couple of days in the company of my Beautiful wife and that is more than worth the effort.

Lol my body is not saying so this morning. There are two whippets that don't think so either,lol they are layed on the end of the bed looking in disgust that I am still lying in bed!! they want to go chase the nemesis,the elusive rabbits up over the h#ill,there wish is my command I will scrape myself up shortly and have a wander,then breakfast,all of us home this morning so a nicer way to start a day off not possible.

My mind strong today,my resolve topped up through a dose of 'gamcare' medicine

It is not always easy to swallow,but I know it's power is awesome,for that again I thank all the folk who continue to gift the forum there best efforts

I hope the rewards are equal to what I am gifted

Abstain and maintain

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs

Am positive you will really enjoy your day off with your family because you have no guilty sick secrets to hide

And no wish whatsoever to gamble today

Days off and family time is so precious we realise that now and we will hold on to that and feel proud because we know we won't bet today

Have a great day with your family and dogs you deserve no less

Suzanne xx

Hi Dunc's.... cheers for your wisdom as always. I am getting myself back on track once more. Urge to chase has gone and back to recovering.

I feel sorry for the rabbits of Portsmouth with your whippets lurking round the corner... 😉 thanks again... S.A 🙂

Morning Diary

Well tried in vain to log on last night,seems the forum was broken,or getting a service??? I don't know a single thing about how my ramblings get from the snail paced typing to the pages of my diary and am happy not to know lol.

Funny I used to think it was the industry who pay for the forum to be here,playing games with the authors,used to look for big sporting events which co-inside with shut downs or whatever you call them.

Today I just accept that the digital world breaks too

Today I am no longer bitter towards the gambling industry,I don't have to be,it has no place in my life,in truth the industry has no baring upon my life today,the constant barrage of adverts are in truth a pleasant change from the 'payday loan' adverts or that yellow and red shop which for some reason the controllers here wont let me type the name of,both of which commit in my mind worse crimes against humanity.

See for me we the gambler choose to play the game,we lay the punt, as a pose to those companies that pray upon the poor and desperate folk and charge interest of incredible proportions,one I witnessed this week a 1999% interest

In my mind these parasites should be addressed,these low life sharks should not be legal,but it seems the government won't face up to them,but hey ho they equally won't accept gambling can be addictive,I guess it comes down to money/funding

Either way as I say the bitterness towards the gambling industry is somewhere today in recovery I choose not to waste my valuable mind space.

Truth is recovery gifted it

Those few words Robbybox typed,the profound effect they had

GAMBLING IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME

the power in those words fella I will be ever thankful for,because I know they are true

Gambling is a random event upon which the outcome I will never control and couple that with the fact that in all forms of gambling I simply go at it gung ho then the outcome will never change,no matter how many times I go at it

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

a mantra I left behind on the 30/10/2013

my new mantra

I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP

that streak made possible by making a choice,one day at a time

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back.

I step off my soap box now,my own sermon finished,my resolve topped up fully lol...

Hi Duncs

Simply Thankyou for your ongoing support and experience that I read from everyone of your posts

Yes it looks like the digital world has problems too lol

I tried last night and this morning glad it's back on and running

Have a great weekend abstaining and maintaining because that is your choice and such a sane choice to make

Suzanne xx

Evening Diary

Well had a very busy day grafting hard today,put in a long shift and the rewards were plenty,both mentally and financially,the boss slipped me a few pink notes to say thanks for my recent efforts,a very welcome gesture,funny before they would have been squirreled away,only one place to end up,wound into the slot of the fobt,the outcome,some bull##shi##t excuse that it was my wedge,my cash to gamble and it wouldn't matter if I lost it because I never had it.

f**k every penny was cashed in for the gambling tokens,for too many years.

The selfish foolish act of gambling,the total waste of time,the self gifted mind f**k,all to feed a part of the brain which in truth is nothing short of a bully,a nasty f*****g piece of work that is only interested in feeding it's own ego,taking all I have to give for nothing in return.

Funny that it held the majority of my headspace for all those years,it gained more as time went by,eventually owning all the thinking.

Well today it is still in there,I saw it's beedy eyes when I took possession of those notes,I saw it thinking,oh this is perfect,a secret between old friends.

Well Mr addiction, I flanked your move,I phoned my beloved,I shared my good fortune.

You see to win I just have to do one thing

That is to utter those three magic words

NO BET TODAY

by not giving you my head space you know that,you know I retain my winning streak.

You well you can skulk off to the far reaches of my mind,you can curl up in the corner and talk sh#it to yourself.

Those notes will be added to the bank balance tomorrow,next week a few days off,family days,a visit to somerset,I can smell the bbq from here!!!

Burnt addiction anyone LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No Bet today

Stepping forward never back

Morning Diary

Well up with the larks this morning,housework all done whilst Sarah slept,garden all watered,plants tended,the tomatoes are looking good,a real glut on there way,the strawberry runners all re potted and looks like a second glut of those will come and the courgettes are finally behaving lol!!

Oh and foolishly I bought two rather sad looking scotch bonnet plants,now they are awash with tiny chilli's!!! maybe I will post them to the Womble as I am a big girls blouse when it comes to spice!!

Then I walked the hounds and picked another tub of blackberries to squirrel into the freezer,they seem to come earlier every year,I always associate them with autumn,the seasons do seem a mess.

Off to work shortly,a late finish today but one I will enjoy,why??

Because the truth is without the destruction of gambling,without the self gifted mind bending f**k it gifted me I will simply enjoy my day.

I will grab a coffee this afternoon with a good friend,he is off to the west country again to work in the next month,I will miss his company but he has been gifted a fantastic new job so for him life moves on too.

I read R1ck's thread this morning,it was like winding my own life back a couple of years,addiction still coursed through my veins,it stole my ability to think there was another way

The headline is

There is another way,you really do have to want it more than the next punt,you have to give it all you have.

For me today the rewards are there in black and white,I did grant myself a better life,one where I get to call the shots

It is there,my advice gift recovery the same effort you gift gambling

Yes to begin with life is hard,the fallout of a life gambling leaves a great deal of sh#it,not just in the financial form but mentally too.

Abstinence gifts the chance to deal with it,pay those debts,re wire the rational brain to over ride the addiction.

It costs nothing,it really is there for free.

Me I am all in

I hope others gift their lives the same

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs,

Thank you for your kind words. I may be not overally happy clappy recently lol, but hey it could b worse. Recouping on all fronts of life and joining the walk wiv my soldiers. Keep up the good work and reap the benefits of abstinence. Most of it all - enjoy!!!

Catch up soon my friend

Sandra x

morning diary lol!!

Well sometimes things happen in life on the spur of the moment and they have been some of my greatest moments

Today listening to the radio at work and all the ceremonies for the anniversary of the hundred years since the start of world war one,I heard that Pompey was doing a 'lights out' from 10 till 11pm tonight followed by a sounding of all the war ships horns in the harbour.

So I rushed home from work and myself,Sarah and the boys and hounds walked up portsdown hi#ll and the street lights in the whole of portsmouth had been dimmed right down,the isle of wight invisible a strange sight,then at 11 it all lit up to the sound of the ships horns,a sight to behold,another memory to treasure.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Duncan,

Morning - I guess it is, but hopefully I've got some sleep in me before I really have to start my morning.

Put out my lights and listened to the ceremonies on the radio during the hour, although part of my tenancy means I'm not allowed candles.

That sounds a magical way to spend the evening, much better than the lights of the fruities could ever be.

Ryan