Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning Diary

Well today I have read the forum and for the first time in a while feel a bit deflated.

I often think about the gambling industry folk who in my mind without doubt read the forum,to glean information and learn what makes us tick.

Today they must be rubbing there hands together,they must be thinking 'happy days'

Gambling is everywhere,it must be the biggest growth industry this country has and in regards to us the compulsive gambler it must be like taking candy from a baby.

I often look at my gambling life and think

Why didn't I just work for nothing,f**k I could not wait to gift my hard earned to the bookies,I repeated the same ridiculous act over and over in the futile hope that something that was set in stone would some how change.

The mantra of us the compulsive gambler has and will never change

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

there is only one way to stop it being that way,to give your life to the hands of recovery.

Bottom line is 'what have we got to lose????'

Well Mr bookmaker I will never give up on spreading the word of what a gift recovery is.

Even when it feels like I am p*s##ing into the wind!!!

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Great post about isolating yourself when gambling or using alcohol or any other substance to make life bearable I'm very familiar with this duncs,your an inspiration 🙂

The bear

what have we got to lose?

perhaps a bit contentious but i've gone back to gambling in the past for different reasons

there are reasons to gamble. i need to work out are they worth it?

today they arn't but i understand why some do

tri

Evening diary

Thanks for contributing to my thread fella's

Triangle my friend I think you have read my post back to front

I am not asking 'what have we got to lose' if we gamble,that is individual to every single gambler,they have to mentally wage whether the stake is worth risking for gain,both financially and mentally.

I was asking the question

'What have we got to lose??'

Regarding Recovery,in my mind the cost of recovery doesn't come with a stake attached to it,it financially is free,emotionally it gifts freedom,mentally the self gifted mind fookedy f**k is no longer gifted through the futile act of staking your hard earned on a random event of which the punter has no control over the outcome.

Recovery is whatever you want to make it,that for me today comes with far more attached to it than just not having a punt, but without doubt all the things recovery gifts me starts without waging a single penny.

for me there are no half measures,no corners to cut

Today I understand recovery is a choice for life.

It is often said in my GA room

'give recovery 90days,give it 100% of your attention for all of those days,at the end if you don't see a change for the better then go back at it!!

The sad truth is far to few folk give recovery 90 days,far to many go back at it within days.

promoting the mantra

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

as I finished this morning I will again tonight

I will continue to bang the drum for RECOVERY,because I understand what an amazing gift it is.

Please don't waste your opportunity to live it.

Just got in from another long days graft,to which I skipped through,yesterday our Lily-may passed her driving test!!!

To the apple of my eye

I am so proud of you!!xxx

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Congratulations on your daughter passing her driving test mate

Mba

evening diary or good morning lol.

It has been a long day I started at seven and have not long got in!!

Sad to see Daveuk leave the forum I have really enjoyed reading his thread.

For me the security offered here is something I know still works and in truth if is ain't broke then I won't try to fix it.

I thought a great deal about what The honorable triangle wrote upon my thread,I guess it is the eternal question.

How to stay stopped.

For me I came to the realisation that it is unacceptable in my life for me to wage a single penny on any form of gambling after the last episode of gambling.

Those three hrs came all to easy,I had not had a punt for 2 and a half yrs yet returning to gambling was like donning an old pair of slippers,I slid straight back into the old routine,for those three hours I wiped out my continued abstinence and f****d my own mind sideways.

I knew hiding it would promote further episodes so I went about confessing to everyone,the truth is that was harder than confessing the first time

Why??

Because I knew that a great deal of folk in my life had tasted recovery too and for there own recovery to continue in the same way my recovery was key.

bottom line is I could see what I have to lose

Today I know that gambling risks more,far more than my hard earned

What I could lose has far more value than any punt would pay.

I also respect what effort I need to give recovery to continue gifting myself a choice each day

So today I made that choice,one which offers a better day tomorrow

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs,

I gave it 90 days. I gave it 100%.

Would you be kind enough to read my diary re 3 months to change my life ?

I join the century club on sat.

Thanks,

Suzy

thanks for your help

Hi Duncs,

I absolutely agree with your reply on my diary!

I don't attend G.A but I am going to go through the handbook and follow the rules which apply to my case.

If I feel this good after 3 months and I continue to abstain & maintain, imagine how I will be in 3 years!!

Have a lovely Saturday,

Suzy

Morning Duncs,

I know what you mean about replacing one addiction with another, I've never been one for balance in my life, and in many ways I'm still not. But, each day is a step on that journey, and even if we take a detour, it is the journey that's important.

Anyway, I'm glad you can still find your passion for recovery, and more importantly your passion for food is one I also share! Looking forward for a bit of a road trip soon where I'll be picking up some good food wherever I can! Today, there is no space in my life for gambling, hopefully I will say the same tomorrow.

Ryan

Morning diary

well typed a big post last night for the laptop to crash and plunge my ramblings into a sonic abyss!

result you all cry!

so I have no time to one finger type them again on this tablet thing.

I am a mechanical man in a digital world.

I know what the draw of flashing lights do for my mind, gift it a self beating.

Well not today, today work, tomorrow the same, covering a colleague so he can moonlight, happy days all money in the bank.

I chose a gift, that was recovery, I am blessed to travel this road with so many amazing folk.

To my wife, I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

Right off to walk my hounds with eldest.

then work

my name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today stepping forward never back

Morning Duncs

Thanks for your words of wisdom on my thread x

I totally agree with you that even though this is my recovery, my OH is in this recovery with me, and if I fall, It won't be just my recovery that suffers, his will too, so it's not just more money I would lose it would be the end of my relationship.

The hounds are fine, my neighbour knocked on my door to tell me they had sold the house and were moving to a place with some land for the hounds and pit bulls,not too near other neighbours, they all moved out that day while I was at work, must admit its unusually quiet but I guess I will get used to it lol.

You are doing amazing abstaining and maintaining and your posts are very inspiring, and I always look forward to reading them and learning from them.

Have a lovely Sunday whether at work or day off

Suzanne xx

My good friend the Mac, yes the lord giveth and the lord taketh away !

Lovely quote about the love for your wife, I will remember that, your friend Dark Place /

Good morning Diary

Well my laptop is conforming to the job it should again,I had a good talk with it,turned it off for a day and threatened to leave it turned off!! lol turned it on this morning and it seems to want to play!!

So No day off today,off to work shortly my body is hurting,a very long weekend of graft and the big 40 looming lol.

It is time I know when addiction likes it best,it taunted me this morning,tried in vain to get in my head,the old Go on treat yourself!!!

Oh I did

I got my sorry backside out of bed,made some Porridge for me and my beloved wife,made the lunches,some delicious triple decker sandwiches crammed full of love,I wrote notes on the tin foil of each one and packed them all off to school or uni

Then got my wellies on,the coats on the hounds and we walked across the top of the h##il#l,not a soul up there,just me and the hounds and the brisk fresh breeze,I walked they ran,chasing shadows,not a bush left to chance,No rabbits to to found!!! lol

I got home fed the hounds and popped to the supermarket,a ragout of beef to put on before I set of for work,something to look forward to tonight

So a mind f**k from addiction dealt with in the best possible way,I don't have time to gamble,I actually don't want to gamble

Why would I ??

I have too much to lose and I know the outcome of any wager would be loss

If not financial it would be the worst kind of loss

Mental loss,loss of control of my mind.

I know addiction will be back today,it will bring re-enforcement,it will be like a dog with a bone,it won't give up.

So today I won't access cash,I won't let temptation be put in addictions way.

Blocks work,you have to want them to.

Me I want them to

I want to snuggle into my beautiful wife tonight without any other feeling than a deep love,a feeling that takes my breathe from me just thinking about it.

I want to hear about lily's first day at uni,I want to feel the cold nose of a whippet return the love.

In short I want life

I choose LIFE

life begins each day by me bettering it,through making a choice

No bet today

Addiction will live in the doldrums of my mind,it will pitch battles,state it's case for a return to gambling and why it is such a good idea and the fun to be had!!

Me I will reply in kind

Addiction you Won,I played and lost,I lost more than I could ever win back,you made me foolish

Today I am still a fool

But a Fool in love

In love with life,warts and all.

Thanks for gifting me the ability to live it.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Morning Duncs

Very strong and determined post from you this morning.

Sending you strong and positive thoughts to abstain and maintain today and keep making that right choice.

Take care and stay safe

Best wishes

Suzanne xx