Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Happy Birthday! I hope it's your best birthday ever! Surrounded by people you love and who love you. What could be better? Congratulations on your special day and on your recovery :-).

I've followed your recovery diary since last December when my son (Mr Brightside) revealed his gambling problem and asked for help. Since then I have walked with him on his own recovery journey. You have been a huge influence on me in helping me to understand the self helps needed and the pitfalls to avoid. Also an incite into the mind of a gambler. You are so generous in sharing your recovery and helping so many in their own journeys.

I feel as though I know you and your family and I appreciate you all. I'm so glad you have joined the challenge 🙂 you are an inspiration to so many on this whole forum.

I agree that every day of recovery is special and the first days are usually the hardest. Although not a gambler myself I too have been and still am on a journey. I rejoice with you, with my son and with every single one of you every single day that you gift yourselves life 🙂

Enjoy your special day and know that there will be many people who have never met you, but count you as a friend, who will be celebrating you and your birthday today. Love Mama B xx

Hi Duncs. Happy birthday and a massive well done. I seldom come on here or post now but I did look out for your thread. I am getting close to 2 years free of this nightmare and even when Life can be a bit tough I always remember that a tough day of normal life with no gambling beats a life with gambling in it a million times over! DB

DMac,

Happy Birthday auld yin.

Tomso.

Happy Birthday Duncs. My mom shares the same birthday only she's the big 80 today! I'm looking forward to that letter. P was so tickled by the idea that she said she was gonna buy me some real nice stationary to write on! Enjoy your day!! - joanxx

Happy birthday, Duncan.

Look forward to reading your next diary entry. Closing in on the 1 year mark, you've done brilliant!

Happy birthday duncs keep smiling my friend and keep us smiling your a big influence on lot of people on here and an inspiration 🙂

The bear

Belated Happy 40th my friend, trust it was a wonderful day, Dark Place

Happy Birthday Young Un ...lol

Enjoy your day ... and the biggest hugs ((((D))) and respect to you my friend .

Rach and Dotty xxx

Evening diary

Well thank you all so much for the kind words,I am truly humbled.

So yesterday the big 40 came knocking lol, had a great day,I got to spend some quality time with the folk I hold dear,a nice bottle of claret shared at dinner,cooked by a fella who knows a thing or two about how to respect food,delivering something truly fit for a king.

Then had a lovely snuggle with the women who makes me tick;)))))

then this morning got up with a spring in my step,left for work and had a phone call,the one every parent dreads,lily-may was in an accident and her car,the one she has owned for less than 48 hrs,the one we partially funded and her Nan and granddad more than generously gifted the rest of is written off!!!!

A fella came from a blind corner and has gone through the passenger door and the rear passenger door and pretty much squashed the frame.

Luckily and most importantly lily is fine,very shaken and whip lashed along with her friend who was in the passenger seat.

The fella accepted full responsibility for it and his insurance company are sending assessors and courtesy cars.

the car is a 57 plate and that I believe has saved this story from being far worse.

I am more than great full for that and the ability for lily to be so fortunate and to end today I again understand how precious life is.

I went through a whirlwind of emotions,blaming myself,that old 'well you don't deserve to enjoy yourself' feeling

I know those feelings are twofold

One side is the unconditional love

the other a guilt,that I don't warrant good days in my life,I reap the rewards of all the sh#it I brought to the world.

The truth is I know that is addiction twisting the truth,f*****g my mind.

I stuck two fingers in it's direction.

Tomorrow I will find the courage and strength to do the same.

For now I need to rest my weary head.

Thanks again for the amazing support.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncan

Hope you're well rested by the time you read this, you know how those demons work and how they come knocking when they see a weakness.

You know there isn't anything you could have changed or made the accident any different, the important thing is that abstaining from gambling meant you could help Lily out with a fairly modern car and not a 50 clunker that would have crumpled like we used to before the machines. I'm glad to hear she is okay apart from the whiplash, and I hope she's back at home safe.

You still took the right decision, and recognize the twisting, manipulative way it works in our brains.

Hope your weekend goes better than it has started,

Ryan

Morning diary

Thanks for the sane,kind words Ryan

Fella you are so right

That old saying there are two sides to every coin never more true.

Today I have been gifted a lesson,that to communicate,to speak up rather than bottle things up will ultimately reward you in the long term.

Today I try to live a very open book of a life,I know sometimes I get it wrong,but am always willing to rectify my wrongs.

Something that recovery has gifted,HONESTY and HUMILITY

to understand my own value and to use it to embrace life,to enrich other folk's lives and have the same gifted back

true gifts of recovery,something no bookie can put a value upon,something today I will not cash in whatever the odds.

Abstain and maintain

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler

No bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs,

I hope Lily and her friend are feeling better this morning, you and Sarah must have been very anxious when you heard the news.

You were shaken but not stirred, well done.

Warm regards

Suzanne xx

Morning Duncs...

Relieved Lily May is safe and that you are understandably shaken but communicating and not bottling it up.

I totally understand what you mean about deserving or not deserving as I have this guilt loop for past deeds running sometimes and dont trust and believe.

In no way, my friend is this accident and your enjoyment of your birthday and continued recovery connected...so hopefully that thought is banished in the knowledge that you are not in some way being punished for continued success.

Just thinking of a gem from AA 12 step which may make sense. An old timer of 20 plus yrs clean who always says every meeting " I can't afford the luxury of resentment " ...I guess a CG translation could be " I cant afford the luxury of superstition" ...(You can see how this voodoo stuff works eh? ..)

As with the good folks of Haiti ...banish and starve out any rogue thoughts from the McQ household which feed on fear...

Ok...back to business as usual...the good times...day, hour or minute at a time if need be to secure even more good times to come. No glass ceiling my friend..its a big sky.

Keep talking and maybe pick up the phone.I sometimes forget in recovery that folks in the meetings who we know really enjoy being there for us as they can also feel the joy of giving back,....I used to think I was an inconvenince asking for help until I was told I was depriving another member of the same joy i get from giving...lol

rambling again.....

Rachel xxx

ps...saw this ......

"it was pride that changed angels into devils

It is humility that makes men angels"

You have humility by the truckload my friend ..a rare quality indeed...like manners, it maketh a man!

Your biggest fan (swooning) 😉

Rach and Dots xx

Just wanted to say Hi Duncs, Sounds like you have had a bit of a scare? Really hope life is treating you well?

I'm ok but have sunk into a bit of a hole, need to kick my a**e and get outta it!

Much love to you, Sarah and kids xxxxx