Back to basics

Hi Bornagain, I just read through your diary. You are doing well so keep it up. Let's make 2015 the best year of our lives so far. Keep those days ticking along and don't give the bookmakers a second thought.

Thanks for managing the 2015 challenge - you are doing a great job!

Thanks pellekanin, doing the challenge takes up a lot of time, but is also really rewarding, especially when I get nice messages like that.

Day 55 and I'm looking forward to the football today, we are playing Hartlepool and a win can see us climb a few places up the league. I'm meeting earlier than usual as a workmate is allowed out early today so we are having a few more beers than usual. There won't be any bad thoughts or slips, I've made the choice not to gamble today and I will continue to stay strong and keep making that choice.

Today is a serious struggle, I'm so badly hungover and can't wait to get done with work. I really need to learn when to stop, a few beers at the footy turned into an eleven hour drinking session. But apart from that I'm all good no bad thoughts, pay day this week and not a penny is going to a bookies!

You are right i shouldnt have made the comment its not my right to judge even if i do believe the suggestion to be the most offensive bit of advice given in my time in recovery. I will attempt to contain my snap judgements to myself in future

Thanks Phil for nipping that in the bud. I have, as it happens, posted on my diary earlier today about the same subject. People come on here for help and are often in a very fragile state of mind, particularly newbies who have sometimes had the rug pulled from under their feet - the last thing they need is a snappy little comment. I had one and it almost made me turn my back on the forum as being new I didn't know whether that would be a commonplace occurrance. However, now I realise that everyone on here want to give the best advice that they see fit. Some do that with a virtual hug, others do it with a virtual kick up the a**e. I'm a lover not a fighter, I prefer the hugs! Anyhow, what you did for Emily yesterday was amazing, and what you do for the rest of us soldiers is equally amazing, we realise it takes a lot of time and effort (especially if you're hung over!) So thanks Phil, very much appreciated.

Rach x

Thanks for the messages, there really are so many great people on here!

Day 57, it feels like the days really are adding up quickly, I can't wait to hit the big 100! At this time last year I was fearing the time Cheltenham and Aintree races were due as they were real highlights in my gambling, however this year I am looking at things in a totally different way. I don't fear them, yeah the adverts will come harder and stronger than ever and I may well hear that an old favourite horse is running, but I have the tools to cope. I don't need to worry about possible temptation. Its now 220 days till New York and that goal will not be smashed by a trip to the bookies. Another positive is that people in work who would talk to me about gambling have stopped doing so, my work colleague no longer shows me football bets on his phone. Bit by bit things are coming together, I'm still a work in progress but I am doing better. Just need to work on my motivation now as I am finding it hard to get into regular exercise and to stick with my diet. Would also be nice to meet a decent girl, I don't want the pressure of something full on, but maybe it would do me good to swap the wild nights drinking for the odd date night.

Day 58 and just enjoyed the Andy Murray match, hes looking back to his best and I hope he continues in this form as I really want to see him play live in New York. Even better to see him win in New York!

Its pay day tomorrow and I have to say I have absolutely zero bad thoughts, that little devil on my shoulder has gone quiet. I couldn't really ask for more. But just to reinforce things I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow, I don't feel I need it, but anything that may help is worth doing.

Feeling good, no bets today!!!

Hey Phil, ditto with payday tomorrow, and I too feel great. I just hope it stays that way. Coming on here was the best decision I made :o)

Well done you on 58 days, not long now until you have 2 full months under your belt!

Rach x

Hi Phil,

Oh thanks for the support, what a lovely positive message before I go to bed! I'm dog tired tonight to be honest, no gambling itches yet, although even if I did have, I do believe that I have self excluded from almost every online casino known to the western world! No, that's a lie. I get around 5 emails daily from casinos - not sure which ones they actually are as they go straight into the junk folder (hotmail really is good for filtering the spam from the good), and I delete them from junk without opening them. But, on my guard and have made plans for tomorrow. Working from home in the morning, loads to catch up on, appointment down in the south-west in the afternoon, meal at a friends in the evening so will be busy for most of the day. I'll get withdrawal symptoms from this site though - I feel the need to check constantly for updates on the forums, how sad am i?! Perhaps that will wear off when I am a seasoned pro.

Good luck tomorrow Phil, I'll be checking in on you tomorrow night my friend 🙂

Rach x

Pay day today, day 59, money in the bank......BUT no temptation, no bad thoughts and most importantly NO BETS TODAY!!!!

I'm shortly off to see my counsellor and then straight to work. Its so nice to feel like this, to feel normal and be able to function normally and not be like a raging addict desperate for his fix.

Thanks for your lovely post Phil, and 59 days is fantastic going,

Well done you.

Suzanne xx

Day 60, wow that looks good and before I know it I will be into three figures. I feel good, no thoughts of gambling or fool proof systems which so often come into my head on payday. My money is safely in the bank, my mums keeping it safe and I can only have small amounts at a time, which is just what works best for me. Every month now I'm paying things off my holiday or saving towards it, so with every pay day I feel a step closer. Its good to make my pay day a positive, it used to cause me so much pain, but now each one succesfully negotiated brings New York closer. My counselling went well yesterday, I see her every 3 weeks now and I think I have about 3 more sessions to go.

So things are good, I feel good and I won't be gambling today!!!

Just poppin in to see what day i'm up to 😉

Glads all gone well after pay day! My pay day tomorrow!

Are you doing the gamcare counselling? I'm thinking about going back, my situation has changed quite a bit so would be good to delve a little further!

Hi Phil,

I had a lovely day yesterday, kept busy and reasonable early night for me but today I have been feeling a bit anxious. I just wish there was someone I could hand over my finances to, but there is literally no-one. As someone else said, it's easier to be skint - I'm used to being skint! But, haven't been stupid so far, and don't plan to be. I'm glad I have come on tonight to read some more and learn some more and because I know that you guys really do care. I have avoided it all day as it reminds me of gambling and that's the last thing I want to think of. Well done on getting through your payday too Phil. Hopefully I'll feel a bit brighter tomorrow and will be able to put a more optimistic post up 🙂

Rach x

Day 61 and I'm so glad to have two days off work. Not much planned as of yet, but with a few expensive weekends coming up thats not a bad thing. However I really have the urge to go out tonight or tomorrow night which is good for me as for too long I've not wanted to go out or had anyone to go out with. Lifes good, I have no urges and I won't be slipping up anytime soon! No bets today!!!