Day one of many. It's a struggle already.
Hi all this is all new to me I gambled £500 pounds yesterday!!
It started when I was alone on my way back from helping a friend out and paid me cash for it. That was the first urge I got. Then to the bank until I couldn't get anymore money out. That's when it stopped, I just couldn't help myself I was chasing and chasing.
Got no sleep what so ever last night. I confessed all to my partner today she's given me a chance to change my life.
It's crazy I know that I can never win and if I do I'll be in the bookies the next day losing it all.
I've been to GA for nearly 3 years now on and off but still have random days gambling when I'm on my own and have cash or my card. I have agreed with the missus that she's taking my card and giving me an allowance for the week and if I spend it that's it for that week. It worked before so I know it will work again I just don't trust myself with lots of money.
This is the first time I've tried the recovery diary.
Sorry for the long post I just needed to get it all off my chest
Hello Siweld80
Wanted to welcome you to Gamcare and post on your diary. There is hope if your willing to put the hard work in to stopping gambling.
Post daily, get back to your GA meetings weekly and share any changes that happen
Well done
Thanks for the post triangle I'll put in the time and commit to giving up gambling for the rest of my life.
End of day one and free from gambling.
It's been hard but I was with girlfriend all day sorting out what we need to do together so she can help me help myself. So we can live a wonderful life together worry free.
I still have a horrible feeling in my stomach and I don't know why?
I'll be back tomorrow with my next post.
Getting towards the end of day 2 it's been a productive day I have self excluded myself from 10 or so bookies close to home and Work so that should help a little. I have had no urges to gamble today but still early days yet. Still have the nervous feeling in my stomach. I'm just going to GA now.
Speak to you tomorrow
Day 3
Good news still free from gambling.
Had a busy day at work dealing Issues left behind from the fire on Kingsway the other day. Still kept my mind free from gambling so that's a good thing I suppose. No thoughts no desire to gamble.
GA helped a great deal last night it was good to hear other peoples therapies and to give my own with people who understand what us compulsive gamblers are going through.
I'm going to a 1-2-1 session tomorrow to see if that helps too. I will beat this illness one way or another!!
Day 4
Over and done with another good day gambling free!!
Bought ten pounds worth of gardening stuff today just to get free parking CRAZY!!!
Still at least I didn't gamble that money!
Had my 1-2-1 session today just an evaluation but got a good vibe from it, looking forward to the next session.
The feeling in my stomach is slowly going away day by day.
Nice victory for Arsenal away to Burnley, made sweeter by the fact spurs lost to Aston villa haha.
Off to bed now night.
Well done on 4 days. Here's to another gamble free day today.
Thanks NT and Bidger81 for your kind words.
Day 5
Another day gambling free is up.
I had a great day today unfortunately the Sunday league team I play for lost 4-2 today, but on a more positive note I had a great chat with my girlfriend and we ironed out a few things.
Together we had a good day and to be honest it has flown by probably cos it's the weekend and back to work tomorrow Rubbish!!
Stay strong and beat this addiction together!
Night all
Day 6
1 day away from a week free from gambling.
Today was a tough day at work but still I had all the right tools to deal with it now I'm not gambling, I'm sure if I was I would have snapped but I stayed calm and dealt with the issues. Another good sign things as on the up.
Not to much to say today all is good.
Morning of day 9.
I'm going to tell you a little about days 7&8.
Day 7
Today was a quiet day at work just waiting for things to happen really. Had a little bit of work to do in the morning that was done early. I got a little worried cos i thought that was usually the time that i would usually think about gambling, but no thoughts to report and no gambling.
A whole week gambling free, Get in!!!
Didn't do to much in the evening i just fell asleep on the sofa.
Day 8
1 Week and 1 Day now free from gambling and feeling a lot better. No horrible feelings in my stomach everything is now out in the open. I have told family and friends about my addiction and they told me i can count on them for support if i need too. Luckily i have a good support network.
Day 12
I haven't posted anything for a few days that's cos I have been busy working and living a normal life, when I say normal I mean free from gambling. Going to work coming home doing dinner etc.
Today I have had a great day gardening with my fiance trying to make our garden our own finally.
I'm still taking it day by day but nearly two weeks now it has gone by so quickly.
Went to a 1-2-1 session on Friday it was really good to talk to someone, I'm hoping that is going to help my recovery.
Remember a gambling free life is a better life!!
Day 15
Just over two weeks now gambling free, that's gone so quick it only feels like yesterday my life was crumbling from under me and two weeks later it feels normal again. When I say normal I mean better than I was when I was gambling!!
I still understand there will be trust issues but that's something we can build back.
Life is good.
Day 17
Nearly the end of day 17 and got through another day without gambling. Just about to go to GA now it went well last time I attended GA on a regular basis. So I'm going back to those days with added counselling sessions every weekend so that should help me.
So on to tomorrow with hopefully another day without gambling.
ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
Day 21
All over and another day free from gambling. 21 Days free when I first signed up I never thought I would get this far I was so unsure.
This recovery diary plus GA and counselling seems to be working a treat and long may it all continue.
I had the busiest and most stressful day at work since I stopped and I felt like I dealt with it well.
Remember one day at a time that's how I'm getting through.
My thoughts are with all off you in the same situation stay strong
Day 28
4 weeks now and still no gambling or urges to gamble which is amazing.
It seems to me that counselling together with GA is really working for me so I'm going to keep that up for as long as I can this time keep GA more regular.
On the plus side I have just been paid and theres still a large chunk of my wage intgere still.
Still taking it one day at a time
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