Day one - here I go!

Welcome to the diaries Helen.

It takes courage admitting one is a compulsive gambler and being prepared to do something about it so respect to you for joining us.

The admin team are lovely people who can be contacted anytime. They will be able to advise you on ways to move forward in your recovery. 

Friends in recovery may also post on your diary with advice and encouragement. 

I wish you every success in reclaiming your life and having happy adventures with plenty of good wholesome fun. 

Aum ?

Helen, 

Welcome to the forum and well done for taking the steps you have to making some positive changes for yourself and your family. 

From what you have said, it looks like something has changed for you recently that has helped you want to move forward without gambling. You said you have still been getting urges and it might be that going through those would be useful for you. If you call our advisers on 0808 8020 133, or use the Live chat option they would be able to refer you for free counselling. They can also talk you through this and suggest ways in which you can be more protected from gambling. 

It might also be good for you to speak to Stepchangeor the National Debtline to get some advice with regards to your debt. 

For now though, please do continue to use the forum. 

Take care, 

Rebecca 

Forum Admin. 

Hi Helen, well done on making a start on your recovery. Just make sure you have all the blocks possible in place, Gamstop, a blocker on your phone or whatever you use, I have betblocker installed for 5 years and you can get your bank to block gambling transactions on your card.

If you are struggling with the debt I would recommend getting in touch with Stepchange, they are a debt charity and are really good. I have set up a debt repayment plan with them which stopped any more interest being added to my credit card debt. You tell them your income and expenditure and pay an affordable amount to them and they deal with the creditors. It really helped me and took a lot of pressure off the debt.

Read other peoples stories for tips and speak to a gamcare advisor, they are brilliant and will guide you through your options and will arrange counselling if you want it.

Remember that we all start at day 1 and it's what happens from there onwards that counts

Good luck and keep posting

Thank you for the replying  I really do appreciate them. 

ive got my debt in payment plans with the company’s I owe to - interest free so that helps! I’ve increased one payment by £10 a month today - I need to see an end to some of this debt! I’m determined.

So day two- woke up grumpy and didn’t really wanna talk to anyone- but  with those urges kicking in this morning about 11am, so I pushed myself to go out all day in my garden and going down the tip to clear if,  which has helped keep my mind busy, I’m knackered but now I would be sitting down logging on , 

im so glad I’ve blocked those sites, as yes I’ve tried but can’t so I made a cup of tea  and in two days I’ve only spent £5 on electric , which is amazing and such a nice feeling knowing that I have £55 left to last till Tuesday and my direct debits won’t be rejected. 

new day tomorrow that see how that goes... 

im finding this quite a relief just writing down what I’m feeling, it’s like I’ve got someone to actually talk to, who understands - coz I haven’t told anyone else I just can’t I don’t want them to have this disappointed look at me, I think it will just make me feel worse which then results in me gambling again. 

Don’t give up people, we can do this one at at a time! Xx

Hi, if you don't want to tell anyone close to you maybe speaking to gamcare and arranging counsel ling could help. I did this and it was really helpful being able to talk to someone without being judged.

It's the old cliche of one day at a time and like you did, keeping your mind occupied on other things

Stay strong ?

Thank you , don’t feel like I want to talk to someone just yet, I’m always a the same I bottle things up always have and probably always will.. 

I will think about it though especially when I know times and those thoughts get the better of me. 

day three nearly done , I’ve manage to keep myself busy till Thursday with people and doing things so that could be the day I struggle more and also the day I’ll get some money - so need to find things to do that day and have plans in place x 

Day four- kept busy all day but now I’m sitting here and all I can think about is gambling , probably coz I know I’ll have £50 go into my account tonight and it’s my usual Tuesday routine to spend it, but I know I can’t and this is where its eating away at me.. even though I’ve blocked myself I’m still thinking what if I can..  

the money I need for standing orders and a direct debit  which I know won’t get rejected which would be something I seemed not to care to much about before but I do care now - I want to stop and not think about spending it. So I’m 
going to read other people’s diary’s as I’m finding that helps.. 

On other notes.. 
I had two really good dreams last night, which my son rudely interrupted one lol  and seem to be feel that I’m sleeping better and also I don’t find myself staring into thin air, with my mind wandering  for half the day at the moment which is positive, I don’t feel like I’m in my own little world - does that sound odd? 

Going to do some housework to keep busy for an hour , read some diary’s then an early night for me I reckon. 
on a plus side checking my bank I’ve spent  £10 in four days which is a first for me, I’m so trying to be positive!! Xx

g

Proud of you Helen and impressed with your positivity and determination. 

Somebody once advised me to take it one day at a time and if I was having a bad day than to just grit my teeth and hang on tight until bedtime because tomorrow will always be anther day. 

Wishing you every success in your recovery. 

Aum ?