Diary 2

Happy New Year. Symbolically I am glad 2016 is over - probably one of the worst year's of my life BUT I did not gamble from x date and have listened and learnt a lot and had many bitter pills to swallow. As I have said many times the money is gone and it seems that there are many ways to a gamble-free life one day at a time (just my view). All the best, Phil

Hello back to my diary. I was thinking about sensivity and addiction. When I first started using this this forum almost a year ago I had no insight and wanted people to treat me with "kid gloves". Poor Phil etc. People reacted to my posts - not all - with "tough love". A lot of things I didn't want to hear but those people were right....Alan, CW for example....thank you. I cannot gamble on ANYTHING and it took me a while for that to click. I have posted c@@P but that was my emotions and other issues. There are certain people who use this forum be they partner of a gambler or a recovering CG and they have been great - sometimes harsh but that is what SOME of us need to hear. So I thank people who want to live a different life one day at a time. Again, thank you, Phil.

As someone who follows the one day at a time philosophy in my OWN way here's what I do for an "interested party" in no particular order.

I don't go in shops. I've self-excluded from dozens in my area.

I don't look at any online betting sites and immediately delete any betting related e-mails I receive without opening them. I do not look at racing pages and in fact habitually tear them out of my daily newspaper.

I deliberately carry very little money with me.

I self-reflect and ask myself what drove me - "only" starting 4 years ago how I became an obsessive compulsive gambler, liar, rubbish husband, using friend etc.

I accept I cannot gamble on anything - horses, scratch cards - and I accept this ONE DAY AT A TIME despite problems or other circumstances in my life.

I try to be a better and more honest person who can slowly regain the trust and love of those I let down.

I incorporate some of the 12 steps into my life but do not believe I have to accept all 12 as I am an individual with my own views etc.

I read the posts of other people far wiser than me and listen and learn.

I treat recovery with the respect it deserves and not as a joke and do not set myself unrealistic targets. I also accept that I am in the early stages of my new way of living and still have much to learn - and in the long-term something to give back. I am not a know-it-all and simply post my opinions in MY diary.

Etc. I'm sure I'm doing it all wrong to some people but this is how it is for me plus other stuff. Thank you.

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Thank you. Nothing I have ever posted has ever been intentionally to annoy anyone.

Last post of the day. Everyone who wants to be gamble free has choices to make. My post now in the debates section was in no way whatsoever meant to judge people. I wish the best for everyone. I feel the journey is individual whether it is ODAAT or JFT....had to look up the latter! Is there a disctiction? My progress is a journey not a destination and if people don't get that or want to sound like a "guru" please don't reply to my posts. There are no experts here in my opinion and all I'm doing is what I think is for the best for my wife, my family, myself etc. Anyway, best wishes, Phil

Just been on the GA website and there doesn't seem to be the one and only weekly meeting in Cardiff anymore. I'm prepared to give it another go but I can't see a meeting near me unless I am doing something wrong in my search on the website?

There is a problem with the website. All main meetings have gone from view. It will be back running as normal asap. Cardiff is still open

Thought it was strange no meeting in Cardiff

Thought it was strange no meeting in Cardiff

Ok thank you for responses

So darned sensitive. This is one of the most important things in the world to me. Actually cried which is rare as a) there is no way I would want to offend anyone on this forum and b) I apologise if I have and c) I have to learn that reacting isn't the way forward. I felt when I described my day at a day life gamble-free it came from the heart - see the lenghty post above. If I can find out the time and location of the GA meeting in Cardiff which I think is on a Thursday I will go with an open mind. I've never expected loads of responses to my diary but at the same time I just wanted to describe what my life is like. I'm now slightly paranoid about using the term ODAAT but that's how it is for me in my own way and I have ultimate respect for the way other people stay gamble-free. I said 2016 was a very difficult year for my wife and I but I wasn't whinging I was merely trying to emphasise that there were no excuses to gamble. I still feel like a newcomer with a lot to learn on a constructive basis and maybe I have a little to offer back. Anyway, reflectively I say have a nice evening and all the best, Phil.

Phil cut yourself some slack.
Constructive criticism can sometimes look like people are having a go. But there not
From what I know Oddat is about improving your way of life.
Where as some people confuse it with just for today (jft)
If say the person wasn't gambaling but no necessarily improving there life then that is Jft
Phil your doing great
All that was said was share a little more of your story
Best wishes

Cheers Deano. Thanks for the support.