Diary no.2

Morning TeeJay,

Just popped over to say well done on abstaining and keep strong. Whatever happens re you and your OH you must not forget you have choice s and as you said he is still hurting.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi TeeJay

Just want to add my words of support too. Stay strong....it will get easier in time and one day will have faded to a memory. Chin up.

Ruthie x

So here I am on day 21 of being gambling free and I must admit, even with all the turmoil it has caused over the past few weeks, it does feel good to be able to say I am still managing to abstain. I know no good will come of gambling again and facing up to the debt I am in is hard but at least I am not wasting one more penny on gambling.

Oh and I are back to speaking again, this time though I am not taking for granted that every thing is sorted with us and am building myself up to talk to him again about it but for now am keeping busy with getting on with life as best I can (think that's all we can do at the moment)

Hi TEEJAY

Ofcourse it feels good to be 3 whole weeks free from the self destructive addiction of gambling

Be and feel proud you are doing this in your own

Very very well done

Keep abstaining through the ups and downs and you will get stronger and stronger

Your OH sounds like he has accepted it but doesn't want to be involved in it ( if that makes sense)

Just keep abstaining taking one day at a time but you must start to sort a plan out for your debts if you have not already otherwise they will escalate and get worse they won't go away

But they can be controlled and that is soo positive to be able to move on and know you can live and pay your debts off

Suzanne xx

Day 26

Weekend was good apart from having a major major urge to gamble on Saturday night. If it weren't for self exclusion I really think I may have caved in but got through it.

It's payday for me on Friday so have decided that is as good a time as any to broach the subject of my debt again with oh. We are basically back to normal again and part of me doesn't want to say anything to rock the boat but don't feel we can truly move forward until we are able to talk about it. I know he may not want to know all the details of my debt but I want him to know what I planning on doing about it otherwise I just feel there will still be secrets between us and I really don't want that anymore.

Anyway am feeling ok and am more positive again (here's to my positivity lasting this time:))

So have been managing to stay positive and feel life getting better all the time. I am determined to not let this get me down anymore but I know I cannot become complacent because when you least expect it, IT will creep up on you again. I am fully aware this time round that I know I will never truly be free of this addiction but hopefully in time it will become easier.

On a side note, My dad gives me money each year to pay his car insurance from my bank account (he's not very good at dealing with these things himself). I had to phone the insurance company yesterday because it's been two weeks now and still the money has been sitting in my account. I couldn't beleive it when the lady on the line told me that my bank was probably refusing the debit card payment because they may think its fraudulent. I had to have a little laugh to myself because my bank NEVER refused the thousands and thousands of pounds I spent on gambling transactions but yet I cannot pay a 230 insurance payment. Anyway have phoned the bank and got it sorted but to me it is a joke!! Not that it's the banks fault that I gambled all my money away but why does simple things like an insurance payment flag up on their system but not gambling transactions!?!

Anyway, onto day 28 and what it may bring.

Was on the phone to one of my friends last night (she knows nothing about my addiction) and we were arranging to meet up and go for lunch, when out of the blue she suggested going to the bingo. Now although bingo was never where I had a gambling problem, I could feel myself getting redder and redder as I tried to stutter out some excuse why I couldn't go. I have to say I actually feel quite sad not being able to go as it something my friends and I have done in the past just for something different to do, but I really feel as a cg it is best to stay away from all kinds of gambling as it seems to be that rush of excitement you get when you are near to winning that gets you hooked again and I am determined not to go back down that road again.

Hi Tee Jay

Wow 4 weeks well done to you

Keep going staying strong and positive and keep winning one day at a time

Suzanne xx

Hi TeeJay,

Glad to see you are staying positive and staying gamble free. I had to laugh about your bingo comment, as I have never set foot in a bingo hall. How we have moved on as mine like yours is all online. Ty for the comments on my diary, wish I had your strength.

Keep strong and stay positive

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi TeeJay,

Are you still here somewhere lurking, I do hope things are OK with you

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Hi Teejay
Yes I remember you and any help given you are welcome. Glad you have stayed clear of the gambling. Here's hoping 2015 will continue to be gamble free.
Take care and best wishes
Cheryl xxx