Diary of boo radley

Posted by: Boo radley

You are the Banksy of diaries.. 

Night all 

Boo ???

Ha ha! I am indeed! Banks was my maiden name ?

Hello a drizzly Thursday. 

Still at least I am walking on dry floors unlike somE poor flood folk..

Feeling not to buzzy.. Mornings have thst  effect as I've spoken of before. It will pass..

Not a great deal planned.. I need to complete my reval ' then start a jig.. If I do the jig now nothing will get done. I was going to do some work at home until my password played up so have to go to work to sort... Grrrrrr ?

Few days off payday... 5th one no gambling if I make it till then.. 

I want to wake up one of these days where gambling doesn't dominate the day in any way.. Not even a thought or memory of it.. 

Questioned myself about not doing diary/forum for a few days.. Would that water down the thought process. They do say steer clear of gambling friends/those that gamble what trying to exclude.? But we on here are not gambling so why do it..

I suppose really am I thinking do I need a total switch off from it.. But then its a big risk breaking away yet in its early days.. How else if I didn't diary or chat would I keep deleting the thoughts and feelings of gambling. To let them build up in my system with no support contact is surely asking for a hiding.. To early to be independant me thinks wisely... And then untying the bonds and cutting loose would create a huge void.. 

So that's that out of my head for the day...

So to begin.. Let's eat. 

And then crack on with today's stuff to do... 

Enjoy your day all.. 

Boo ???

Morning Boo,

I don’t know if your feelings are heightened by reaching another milestone (congratulations btw ?). I hope you feel better as the day goes on. It is perfectly natural to be ruminating on things, the good news is you seem to be processing your thoughts well. 

Have a lovely day little gem and please know that I am here whatever you choose to do ?

Thanks russ.. No I wont be going.. Its folly.. But some days it sits a bit heavy on your shoulders and you think you have become that bigger person but you know deep down you haven't.. 

Definete improvements.. 

That's the beauty of these diaries to share and care and encourage to write down feelings we would otherwise bottle or re. Direct doing something totally negative... 

I'm OK russ.. There seems no logic at times in the journey of a CG.. 

I'm just having a scrambled thoughts moment.. It will pass.. 

Thank you again.. I want to  remain in recovery for as long and as forever as it takes 

Boo ???

Thanks murlo.. Yes it's just fighting feelings isn't it.. And yes another milestone tricking me into believing I've got this licked.. That's why we need each other to decide our thoughts.. I've already set another milestone so all along it was never an option to leave.. 

Yes... Feeling better already.. Thanks murlo and russ ???

You said "if" you make it till payday. You WILL. Please don't doubt yourself. You are doing really well. It does seem like your itinerary for the day is a little light compared to recently so maybe that's why you're having a wobble. Go sort your password and get stuck into some work and we will chat to you at lunchtime. 

Love from Drama x

Hello. Thanks drama.. Yes right on every score.. Every aggravation even minor creates havoc in my head sometimes..

Everything seems major when really it isn't and there's no rush to get this stuff done... 

It's working through now.. Feeling calmer and more relaxed.. Even taking pleasure In  Watching the rain ComE down..

Thank you all you lovely people 

Boo ???

Murlo Drama Boo hold hands and look to the sky

Golly gosh they proudly exclaim "oh me oh my we try"

Together walking forward to a life that's gamble free

Gamcare friends look on with awe at their sincerity

Stay strong Boo. We are all with you every step of the way

Stephen x x x 

Thank you Stephen.. Feeling more boo like again now... 

A bump in the road.. Soon levelled out here xxx 

Boo 

???

So what started out as a not so good start has blended into a productive one. 

Think the trigger was my conversation with sis last night. About dad. It being his birthday also today. Felt like I had been hit in the bread basket so to speak then took a bit to mod off.. Hence tired and foggy thoughts on waking. 

But to the rescue came my gallant gamcare team.. My cavalry.. At 1pm chat.. My sanctuary..it hasn't all fell on stoney ground.. And I felt positive about what murlo said about processing my thoughts. Russ and drama your intuitions also and lovely Stephen..

So like I said on chat I'm going to bottle you all on gamcare and label will read take twice a day at 1pm and 8pm.. 

I treated myself to a new pair pj trousers.. (sale rail)...

So these so called bad days aren't as bad as they always seem.. And like russ always says better a bad day not gambling than a bad day gambling..

Catch you all later.. 

Thank you 

Boo ?

Evening Boo,

I hope you are nicely snug in your new PJ’s with Scottie boo on your lap. That’s what I am imagining anyway ?

nite n bless my little gem ?

Well it's endeavour.. And thanks for letting me know about the theme.. It did make me say 'oo er' but the story content is so good it dilutes the gambling.. Thanks murlo.. Yes pink pj's on.. Scottie boo on the sofa too... 

Sleep well all.. 

Night and bless boo 

???

Glad you have had a dose of Shaun...it is so beautifully made. I love Endeavour. 

Night ?

Morning diary. 

Blowy out.. Got a nice steady paced day ahead.. 

Feelings a little shaky initially.. As said always are. I just put it down to recovery and adjustments in lifestyle. 

But concerned about friends low mood at the moment.. She opened up a bit yesterday but think she needs more than I can offer in way of chat n coffee. But  at least she's identifying something isn't right. I'll see her later. We will get to it eventually. 

Got the usual stuff to do and one more reval piece then I can get that sorted and signed off.. 

Today I won't gamble.. Although in truth would love to open up my bank account and see it In a more flourishing mode.. But pay day is a corner away so the well won't be too dry for long.. And money has been spent wisely 

Have an easy Friday all... 

Bye for now 

Boo ???

Morning Boo, it will make a world of difference to your friend that you are there for them, sometimes a chat and a coffee can be everything. 

Have a lovely day, I am looking forward to some jigsaw updates when you have your decal out of the way ??