Hello Smiler, popping in on this lazy avo....
A prezzie for a fantastic post.........
exmug
hiya Smiler ...something you said in your previous post made me think about happiness/peace of mind....thats its the by product of doing other things...
Suppose the bhuddists are onto something with non attachment but am not going down that road..just thinking out loud really with what you said about it..
You have probably heard it said in meetings about a phsychic shift in thinking with some folk...like some burning bush moment..get a bit envious of that sometimes but maybe doing ok on the plodders path.
Whatever your doing you are doing it right Smiler and I do take an awful lot of what you say on board...just taking time to assimilate it into my DNA..but as you also say...recovery cant be rushed!!...No rush...take it easy
hiya Smiler...are you covered in jelly and ice cream from the childrens party..lol
Thanks for your post...I do have that book but as usual it one I bought yonks ago and have dipped in and out of...sounds a bit morbid but I liked the bit on the elements leaving the body when we die...will fish it out.
Lot to be said for the Bhuddists...can understand what its about although I could not take it all on board...Also inspired by OSHO too but again...I take what I like ..etc....good to have a broad view. take care ....
As people are posting youtube songs etc. I thought I would post this link. This song possibly saved my life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ETENrv8cnU&ob=av2e
This song I heard whilst living in Florida and came to my senses. One of those life changing moments. Very personal song to me!
Take care
Tangent away cyberfriend...tried to open your music link but it said.."movie cannot load" or similar (I have an ipad2)...
Yep...should hold my head up more and not avoid..I just isolate under stress which is not good.
On the wine...I shall be fessing up at the meeting tomorrow which is my home group..it was half a glass,didn't want anymore but still the trigger to drink was frustration and as a calmative...slippery slope...progressive as we know....am not beating myself up over it..it was not a slip so no excuses.....I deliberately drove and planned in my head whilst driving there....take care and I shall have another go at your link ......
It is called Love of a lifetime by a group called firehouse.
Seem to have awoken on a more even keel this morning. Put things into perspective last night whilst reflecting on where I am in my life. I'm not as far forward as I wish but then I'm not back in starting blocks either. I am happy with where I am because that is where I am with myself. It is called progress in work and I keep plugging away. My life at present is about recovery but in time it may subside. However I have been complacent with this in the past and it bites like hell when you least expect it. Today is a new day and I am looking forward to what it brings. I have things to do that are not pleasant but it is my unpleasantries I am dealing with so no problem with owning my responsibilties.
Take care
Hey Smiler,
Your post sounds like you are taking back control of your life in a positive forward thinking way.
It looks like you are doing well to get the right balance between looking back in order to look forward, that is a massive strength of character.
Dealing with unpleasant issues is always tough isn't it? But by showing a willingness and responsibilty to deal with it is so important and quite brave.
Stay strong and hang in there.
Paul
Thankyou smiler for all your support during the weekend.
You talk alot of sense and you give me the determination to carry on with the journey i have set out on.
You have a quiet confidence in the way you write and this in turn gives me the confidence to carry on as i was before.
Sorry you have some unpleasant things to deal with today but im sure you will deal with it in your own straight talking way.
Stay Strong
E xx
Hiya Smiler....great post and thank you for your support even when you are going through not so great things yourself.....thanks to you and other regular cyberfriends I am back on the up and off to a home group meeting tonight to keep me on the "straight and expansive rather than the narrow and wonky"....have lady sponsor in mind who I am going to approach who I would not necessarily have as a friend but whose has good recovery and applies... Principals over Personalities ....take care...
ps checked out Firehouse too and see what you mean about the lyrics...from the blog thread it is a song that means a lot to other people too.
Told someone today that I was disappointed with them. As I don't like confrontation I felt uncomfortable. The person in question apologised and that was that. They have lost my business. Being assertive is something I have to work on. I guess I'm getting better.
Just flicked through diaries and I hope everyone is in a good space right now. Maybe end of January might rock the boat but hopefully we'll all stay afloat. I handle cash daily so getting used to having money. Self excluded from bookies next to bank so I chose the correct door to go through ten times out of ten!
not pleasant but you got through it Smiler...tricky one... ..assertion is a skill in itself but you didn't get aggressive which is good.
My boss reprimanded me last week ...details not important but accept I could have done something differently..take care Smiler...its all coming good.
In a funny mood today. Been through all emotions and thought very deeply about my actions. I could have gambled today to run away from issues but I thought them through. It really is about life on life's terms. I can handle it just for today. I am getting stronger and the guard that I used to protect me is slowly thawing and the real world is showing glimpses. It cannot be rushed as I know it would scare me into gambling. The CG demon wants everything now so I get scared. I am in no rush to find my way in recovery. I am in recovery and it gets better each day albeit very slowly. I'm not talking about pots of gold at the end of the rainbow I am talking about having spare time on my hands and instead of gambling I go to supermarket purchase food and prepare two dinners for today and tomorrow. This is the real life. My previous life was a sham. Trying to be mysterious and acting the Maverick character. Easy does it for sure. I am going nowhere in a rush I'm just enjoying it as I go. Life ain't that bad compared to previous times. I understand what I am about slight more each day.
Take care
I see your point entirely. Slow and steady wins the race.
I think as CGs we don't really understand ourselves, and we don't understand what made us do it. And I think that once we understand what motivated those compulsions, we will be much bettered armed to confront them, control them and ultimately defeat them.
Once again thanks for a very insightful post
OS
Hiya Smiler,
A very thought provoking post , which has made my thoughts of recent days just that bit clearer. Thank you 🙂
Love Del xo
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
