escape

Thanks for the advice Oldhamktf, at last some easier ways to exclude,it will be a massive help,take away another temptation.

I'm still going to self exclude from the closest bookies in person.

I know I've gotta look at deeper issues into why I gamble,but breathing space is what I desperately need.

Thanks again,that info is invaluable to me.

Tough couple of days.

Thank god that big horse meeting has finished,not that it should matter,Aintree,newmarket just round the corner,cricket world cup,u16 game in Lithuania - does it matter ? Ive got to stop thinking like a gambler!

You can't win cos u can't stop.

The gambling gods are doing all they can to sick me back in.

I'm not going to lie,I had winnings to collect from ante post bets I had running on Friday,went to collect Saturday dinner time,another hours travelling to the nearest un self excluded bookies I've been using.

I had every intention of self excluding.Shop was busy,different staff,my payout was less than I thought,they kindly adjusted my odds in their favour, - us cg's dont need many exscuses.
I ended up placing a small bet on the football,thankfully that lost.

I feel gutted with myself,it proves it's virtually impossible to give up after a winning bet.
All roads are clear now,I'm ready.

I suppose day 1 is today.
I'm never giving up on giving up.

Hi roddy been reading your diary this morning and you sound a lot like me , I've been gambling for 26 years and like you I have suffered all my life with gambling . I have stopped and started gambling hundreds of times and it got to a point where I nearly give up and thought I can never do this it's impossible, but it's not !!!! . You've must s e from all shops immediately ! , you must put All blocks in place now , i know it's hard to do but being a c g you know the consequences if you don't. You sound really positive about giving up and that's good , I've been gamble free for 21 days now and if I can do it so can you mate . I feel like I'm getting my life back on track now and so can you . Just take one day at a time , keep coming on here , keep posting diary's, get on the chatroom that will help to , but put blocks up immediately , take away the temptation . I really hope you can get your life back and stay gamble free . Loz

Really really struggling with what ifs and maybes,a wager I wrote out yesterday would of won ne over 3 grand,didn't put it on;absolutely sick - I know it would spirralled me eventually into more dire.
I f****n hate gambling and how it's messes up my mind/life.

Thanks for your post Loz, always good to get support,well done on your abstence,I know these first few days are the hardest.

Im still in a bit if a daze,I know I shouldn't keep thinking bout the what ifs,but it's raw at the moment,winning is the worse thing that can happen to a cg;especially winning big.

I drove out of town to the bookies I had been using,I straight away asked for a self exclusion before me eyes strayed.
I will give the manageress her dues,she was very sympathetic,she told me about the new system of multiple bookie exclusions,a great idea,I shall be phoning tomorrow.

Every block has to be put into place,if I put half the effort I put into gambling into recovery I shall succeed.

Day 2, busy day,about to phone that exclusion phone line in my dinner hour,another block in place can only help,I've even deleted a close friends number who in the past has placed bets for me.
I need breathing space,there is nothing I want more than to put this gambling nightmare behind me.
I've come to the conclusion paying off my debts the hard way over a period of time will be much more beneficial than if I would of placed that so called last bet which would of won me a fortune,but winning scares the s**t out of me,winning 10 grand 11 years is what got me into 40 grand of debt!
I'm avoiding all sports news,cancelling sky,I'm sure I will see light eventually,it feels like I'very lost my best friend that always got me in trouble.

A day at a time.

Day 3 - Guilt,remorse,regret all things that I've been feeling.
not sure that I'm at rock bottom,but I've definitely had enough.
Self excluded from all bookmakers within an hours drive,no debit card,no spare funds available,I've never had so many blocks in place.
I gave up before for over a year without exclusions etc,I can do again.
Day 3 gamble free

Day 6, been keeping busy:I'm over last wkd and the what ifs,what's the point in keep of going over it,it would eventually dragged me back in,if I had of won,when I went to exclude on the Sunday,the first thing the lady in the shop said as I walked through the door,was that she couldn't pay out anything because her system was down,that would been the exscuses I was looking for to carry on gambling.

I've drawn a line under gambling now,I'm ready to move on.
Considering some part time work;and a career move,something I should of done years ago;never had the time because all my time was dedicated to losing money.

Strangely enough I'm still enjoying the t20 cricket,cricket was my main choice to gamble on,especially t20,- I'm picking virtually every top batsmen,every winning team - I don't care,because I can't win cos I can't stop the money would be lost on a basketball game in the Phillipines.

Onwards and upwards, a wkd away with the family,let's hope we see a little bit if sun,happy easter everyone.

Day 8 - Had a few niggley thoughts yesterday,I recognised the urges but soon see sense.

I think I'm getting a tiny bit stronger.
A bit of a test 2day;I'm away for a couple of days;going to enjoy.

Day 9,bk from a wkd away,tempted this morning in london but weathered the storm,bk to work 2mo,makes things easier.

Good skills choosing 'no' this morning 🙂

Keep making the right ones - ODAAT

Hi Robby

I don't know you, I've never met you and most likely never will, you are a stranger to me.....But...I want to say that I am proud of you.

I can see you are serious about beating this vile addiction and for that you have my admiration.

I am now just over 7 months without gambling, and life is better in every respect.....If I can do it, so can you, so can anyone

Onwards and upwards mate!

Thanks I win,well done on 7 months;I read you diary,wish I could be as positive as to say I would still be gamble free after 6 months,it's the mindset I'm aiming for.
Busy day yesterday;really helps.

Im still working through strong urges,it's the debt that gets my mind racing.
I've never been in a positon of being debt free in the past 14 years;it's second nature but I hate it.
just for today I shall not gamble

Day 13 I think,another day off,another testing day,blocks definitely helping and I'm making progress.

I'm starting to think about the future more,think about other people, I've been so pre-occupied with gambling,I may not have lost much money the past year or so but the time lost is invaluable;I'm realising that now.

One day at a time.

Day 16, an up and down wkd, didn't gamble was tempted,blocks working well.
Nedd to occupy any spare time,my mind needs to be distracted.