fresh start

Hi Graeme, sorry to read you are still in the grip of those roulettes.

Only you can stop this, and it really has to start with you really wanting 100% to,

Sending you strong and determined thoughts, to start a lifetime journey, that will change your life, recovery.

Take care and be safe.

Suzanne xx

Glad you have replied, yea am still abstaining and maintaining, but it's not easy at times, lol

One thing I will say, I have learnt so much about myself, and this horrible addiction, I know it will always lie deep inside me, I know I will never be able to trust myself with any of the triangle closed, it's tough, but it's worth every day of it, because I have won every day, and not the money, My sanity lol.

You can do this friend, you have come back, I know you can and will do this.

Break that triangle, it's impossible then to play, even when the urges come, and that addiction will hate that.

Take care and get safe.

Suzanne xxx

Life's good and I feel like I'm going to blow the best thing that's every happened to me which is the new girlfriend in my life if I don't stop playing roulette. I can't tell her what I have done she new I had a gambling problem when we got together

The question I'm mulling over do I tell the girlfriend what I have done. Tell her and I can lose her but I'm an honest person apart from gambling really getting me down

Hi Graeme,

I can't give you any answers, but I can read deceiving your Girlfriend is slowly eating you away, and making you miserable, the addiction thrives on negativity.

Sending you strong thoughts to make the right choices for you.

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

I told her Suzanne she was very nice and said she will help me through it. She said she can deal with things as long as I'm honest

Well I'm still gambling but not losing the amount I did before. The question is though I have got everything I want a good girlfriend who will do anything for me money in bank a little debt but me account in plus instead of minus. Why put this at risk? I still read the forum most days and you see people going for ages without a bet then bang they have a relapse. I never be able to stop fully it's just managing it. I only have 1 online account which I can't play roulette on. Which is my main problem

Hi Graeme,

You won't be able to stop until you let it all go, why do you still have an online account, ? as you say thst is the main problem.

You can stop fully, if you really want to my friend, but to do this you have to want recovery 100% and close every single gap.

A CG cannot manage controlled gambling, it just keeps feeding the addiction, I know you know all this, time to ask yourself is managing gambling worth risking all the real things in my life, only you can answer that one, but I think you already have by saying at the end of your post, this is my main problem.

You have abstained and maintained before, you can do this again, you just have to really want this more than anything else.

Wish you all the best as always and I do hope you do make some important changes for you,

Take care and maybe time to keep your diary up to date with your thoughts, just a suggestion my friend.

Suzanne xxx

Well gone and lost £80 on horses might not seem much but it hurt me More than when I have lost thousands. All these losses on the horses are mounting up and it can't continue plus can't put new girlfriend through what I put the last one through. Lost 200 or 300 last 2 weeks that's about a third off my months pay. So silly but nevermind it's only money

Hi Graeme, yes that bit is only money, but it's our health mentally, emotionally and physically that becomes a big issue, yes totally stupid to keep losing money, but totally devastating and very sad when it hits us health wise,

You are stronger than this hideous addiction, just let it all go, and daft as it might sound, be kind to you.and that does start with honesty to yourself, and then getting support and help, You can do this if you really want to.

Have to add my friend, well done on your honesty, on your diary, so that just proves you are stronger than you think,

You are bigger and wiser than this hideous addiction, keep that in mind.

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for responding my friend, your girlfriend understands somewhat, that's great she is supporting you, this addiction can thrive on that one, it tells you it's ok, but it's not, sending you strong and positive thoughts to now kick this addiction where it belongs in the gutter dear Graeme, in the gutter, that's where it belongs, you deserve soo much more than these hideous thoughts,

Take care my friend and do everything you can now do to keep safe and sound.

Suzannne xxx

Well not gambled since losing the money last Thursday. But the ex girlfriend has suddenly decided to ask me to move back in. We have been split up for last 5 years I'm now in a happy relationship which I have been for last 10 month. But the ex coming out with this out the blue has put more pressure on me which I can do without

Can understand that, keep strong and make the right choice for you, don't let this put you in a vulnerable spot, you must think of yourself at this raw time.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

No gambling thoughts but ex putting pressure on me to leave current girlfriend to go back with her. She is now using kids which is emotional blackmail

Do what you want to do Graeme, if you do something that in your heart you don't really want to do, it will have a profound negative affect on your recovery, and then everyone around will be even more hurt:))

Keep strong and look after you

Suzanne xxx