fresh start

Yeah things been fine vulture. Not thought about gambling at all. But I ain’t a gambler who gambles everyday. I’m enjoying the calm at not gambling to be honest

Glad to hear it , hope you have a fantastic weekend

No gambling a week ago today was my last bet on the fobt. When I think about it now. How crazy are we feeding a machine where even if we win we just go back the next day and lose what we have won and even more. Playing on them things are pointless. But I just take one day at a time and not plan ahead of myself

Well a bad weekend not with gambling my uncle died of Parkinson’s. He has suffered for 2 years only 62. Just shows you have to enjoy life while you can

Well gone and lost another £300 in about 20 mins. Sick as a chip but this time I came home lend a tenner off my mam and went and got a photo taken and went straight too beetfreed and self excluded the only company I’m not band from. Sick of doing the same thing life bad enough without me going and losing money like it’s Monopoly money. Learn learn learn from my mistakes that’s what your supposed to do. Them machines turn me into somebody I don’t like and I keep putting my love ones through the same s**t. Lost the last 2 relationships through gambling but I still do it. Been on this website for about 6 years the only thing that’s changed is I’m not in debt anymore but still doing stupid things.

Hello Boro.

I was wondering how you managed to gamble the £300 if your Mam's looking after your money?

Mate one day hopefully enough will definatley be enough for you. That day obviousley isn't today if you're cicumnavigating the blocks you have in place to prevent you gambling.

Self exclusion is a great block to have in place why dont you join the MOSES thing? It will get you excluded from all bookies in a particular area. self-exclusion.co.uk.

I'd gambled all my life, I've commited serious crimes to fund my gambling exploits, how bloody pathetic is that? I went to prison 4 times before I was 30 because of this. I still gambled a lot even after this, I went back to prison after 17 years because I got hooked backed in on the FOBT's. I know how hard it is to break away from them.

At the end of the day mate they are computers, they were not designed to make any of us rich, they are not programmed to make us rich. Personally I do not think they are fixed, but they dont need to be do they. The odds are always, always in the bookies favour.

So where do you go from here man? Caryy on trying the same things but try harder? It's no life fighting urges everytime you have a few quid. Is there something you can do differently this time around?

I cant put my finger on what it was for me, but I've had one real urge to gamble in the the last year it was hard, very bloody hard not to cave in to it. For the most part I dont get any urges, and I know how very fortunate I am to be in this new "headspace".

I honestly believe anybody has the ability to stop gambling. I think half the trouble for me was accepting that I could change, I dont know what you think but when I was in similar situations to the one you're in today I would be thinking I was doomed to it for the rest of my life. It's not so man.

I was homeless in London sleeping in phone boxes and doorways eating chips that people had thrown away, and I've been in worse scenarios than that, all because I fed them machines. I'm not saying you're heading that way Boro but just like I know people can change and put an end to this madness, I know people can keep sliding backwards and backwards.

We are compulsive gamblers' mate, because of that we know we shouldn't gamble. I know it's easier said than done but the bottom line is chosing not do it.

I went into rehab in 2009 and it was in there I found the belief I could change. The rehab didnt fix me, neither has counselling, GA, Gamcare or counselling. But all these things have helped me realise that I could change.

If your Mam is still handling your money, why not ask her to share the responsibility with someone else, it might be too easy to kid her but if she has another person helping it may give her the courage to challange you.

Do you use any other form of support mate? Your doctor should be able to put you in touch with a local addictions counsellor, failing that the National Gambling Clinic, and Gamcare both offer counselling services.

Have you considered the GMA residential centres, you would be amazed at what you can learn about yourself in there. I think that maybe that was the catalyst to my recovery, although I left there in 2010 and within 6 months I was back into gambling, and nearly went to jail again. What I learn't in there hasn't left me and I'm pretty certain that it never will. I'm over a year into my new life without gambling, it was Dec 2016 I last put any money in a FOBT, about two months wages in about an hour and a half I think.

I dont judge you for gambling today Boro, I am pleased that it wasn't me though. I don't think I'm cured by any stretch of the imagination but I know that just for today I won't be gambling. I dont see why things should be any different tomorrow.

It is always just one day at a time, but that one day at a time does not need to be full of urges and desires to gamble.

I wish you all the best with it mate.

Geordie.

I said to her I just have a few bets on the horses so I went and drew £100 out. She came with me to get money. I was going to put £60 of bets on but once I got in betting shop the fobt addiction took over. I lost the £100 very quickly but me mam was still sitting in the car and I begged her to give me another £200 and went on and on till she give up. Went back in and lost last pretty quickly as well. I was never up.

I have had counselling before mate and I have been to the doctors they are useless and have no idea about gambling addiction. But what I have done today blocking my favourite beetfred and a couple of others. I think that should help already blocked at all the others in the local area

Fair do's mate.

Counselling I think will only ever work for any of us if we go into it with a clear mind, I was six months clear of gambling when I first went.

I've been skimming through your whole thread for the last couple of hours, one thing above all else stood out for me. It was when you said telling people you're a compulsive gambler is something they will hold against you. People like your ex-partnesrs mam. Some people will use this against you, some people will judge you as a piece of S***e for being so. The same way people are quick to judge alcoholics or junkies.

However once people start to see you actually take action against your addiction and standing tall against it a lot will see you in a different light. With fighting addiction mate, I think actions most definatley do speak louder than words.

How does your mam feel about all of this mate. I havnt read every single entry on your thread so maybe I've missed something, you dont need me to point out to you that you're being really unfair to her.

Really Boro, as long as you're gambling whether it is footy, horses or roulette, even the lottery you are not giving yourself the chance.

Would you not agree that you are powerless over gambling? It has this hold over you,just like it did with me for 35 years. When I stopped going on bandits, it was the bookies, then the casino's, then the card schools. It was all gambling and it always ended up the same way. It always does and it always will for a CG. This has proven to be the case with every single compulsive gambler I've evr met, and I've met a fair few.

Even if youd just managed to get away with your horses bets today and lost £60 its still gambling man, you know yourself even if you won chances are they'd get it back.

To me it most definitly sounds as if you are powerless over gambling, and that your life has become unmanagable because of it. Until you take a stand against the whole kit and caboodle, I think you're going to keep falling into the same trap.

I wonder though if today you really only wanted to put your bets on, or if you really wanted to go on the FOBT's. Because if your Mam was willing to give you the £100 and wait outside the bookies for you, she probably would have went in and put your bets on to save you the temptation of the FOBT's. I dont think that would have been a good plan, I'm just saying you could have managed to stay out of the bookies. When we gamble so much our thoughts and thinking are distorted, no two ways about it.

It's hard to be honest when you've gambled for years, especially with yourself. It's also easy for me to sit here preaching to you with my gamble free time behind me. I have 1 year gamble free mate and 35 f**d up years because of gambling. I know how hard it was for me to be honest with myself.

Ask yourself why you wanted to gamble today, what could it possibly give you? All it can give you man is more of the same because like me, you are powerless against it.

I dont write anybody off Boro, and I believe in you mate, but I think you have a lot of hard work and soul searching ahead of you, There is absoloutly no reason whatsoever that you should gamble ever again. You gambled today let that be the last time man.

You can do this, but it has to be the whole hog. An alcoholic couldn't give up whiskey and just drink gin, its all alcohol. A CG cant give up roulette and just do the footy, its all gambling.

Dont look at it as a life long comittment to stopping gambling, just commit each day as it comes.

Take care.

Boro, thanks for popping over and posting on my thrread.

I hope you dont think I was preaching to you mate, I can only share my own thoughts and opinions. its a tough cookie to crack as you know..

I know what's working for me that's all, I just wanted to share.I know everybody is not like I was but I'm always fearful people will end up there.

I really appreciate your comments geordie everything you say is true.i can’t gamble again on anything

No gambling on the fobt. Not even thought about going in because me baring myself from beetfred means I can’t go in which is such a relief. Yes I could go in but it would be embarrassing being told to leave.

Well I want in the betting shop today it had been coming and lost £320 on the fobt. I lost this amount by using Apple Pay on my phone could only get £30 a time so I went backwards and forth 10 times and had £20 in me pocket what an idiot. My mam is disgusted in me and I have not told her the exact amount if she new there would be hell on. It’s not the money lost it’s the sickening feeling losing on them. One day I learn but this reduction in stake can’t come quick enough

Bloody hell Boro lad! You’ve been sucked right back in. You’ve not got enough protection... you need better barriers to prevent it as that sounded way too easy.

That photo gets me everytime pal. Puts it into my mind that every time we gamble we edge that bit further away from our kids. It’s gotta stop.

Stay safe and chin up. Well done for being honest at least.

Far to easy mate. Lost my daughters mam because of my addiction to fobt but I still do it. That’s how stupid it is mate