Funny Story

A great post this morning reminded me of something that I've shared in a GA meeting. I don't think recovery has to be 100% serious and I personally want to enjoy my recovery and have the odd laugh. I think that when I look back at my years as a slave to addiction there are things I did which are funny rather than shameful. I think Adam on the Modern Meeting mentioned someone had spent a month driving a 12 hour circumference of their location to self exclude at every casino only to them drive 13 hours the following month to gamble. I laughed when I heard that, not at the person but with the person as that would have definitely been me. I closed online accounts with sheer determination never to play with that one again, ten minutes later opening another one and at rock bottom having 64 accounts with a monthly loss limit of 17 times my monthly salary lol. I laugh at that rather than being ashamed. 

So, I shared this at a couple of GA meetings and hope someone reading with laugh with me.

In our house we have a utility room that is very large at about 30 feet by 12 feet across. In the corner is our washing machine and tumble dryer that could really do with a holiday. 

So, to get to the point, my partner has a tough demanding job (Now three jobs), amazing cook and mother to our two incredible children. For year she was not only a "golf wife" but also a "gamblers wife". That's the shameful bit not the funny bit. I had to work long hours to feed my addiction, sleep 3 hours and gamble the rest so I had "no time" to help. I'm sure many of people have got to that situation of I can't be bothered.

So all the washing would get done but not the ironing which was my job. I would go into the utility, try and find what I wanted and if I couldn't it was easier to buy new clothes all the time, simply because I couldn't be bothered (addiction talking). Well this went on for several years and then everything came rocketing down in my life and I hit my life crash moment when I came into recovery. After a few days from putting blocks in place I actually thought this isn't good. I've got all this time on my hands and I need to do something. So, after two weeks of ironing and getting every item of clothing in the house washed, ironed and put away (had to buy a lot of storage boxes), we all know how gamblers strive for perfection it was done. The washing was and I'm not joking 4 feet high and across the whole room. I found clothes I didn't know I had and hadn't worn for a couple of years.

So here is the bit that first of all I was angry at myself about but then had a good laugh at myself.

I ended up with 270 t shirts from the same UK store. In five different colours but 190 grey t-shirts and 30 black ones. It took me a whole day to match up a staggering 890 pairs of socks. That would obviously last two and a half years without doing any washing again. 90 jumpers. Around 250 sets of golf clothes, tops, shorts and trousers. That was two years of playing without repeating the same outfit alone. I found 25 pairs of jeans. 250 boxers. 40 shirts for suits. 

Now in recovery I simply couldn't throw any of it away but have donated some to charity and will keep the cull. In the last six months I've not bought a single item more and probably won't for the next five years. 

Anyway, made me laugh even though it's quite sad where addiction takes us beyond gambling