Gambling Diary

I am trying to stop fully, but the reality is that most people fail to do that. Realistically like trying to stop any habit like smoking , or addition to drugs or anything similar, I am going cold turkey, but slipping up.

The thoughts I've written here are thoughts every gambler wrestles with. I think it's also important to not censor things, especially in a diary where I can look back on my thoughts and reflect on them.

Thank you for your replies ALN. I am trying to stop desperately, I am going through a tough period. I really hope I can find a permanent job, that would really improve my urges.

I have previously gone 9 months gamble free so I know I can do it again.

As I said, this month I am putting in hard stops again. I have put my grocery cash into a gift card and I am going to put my debit card at a friends place so I can't have access to it. This has always helped me when I have have tough periods, and when things settle down I can be less strict on myself. The problem with that is it restricts me access to even spent money to treat myself. Any advice on this would help. I had counselling for a few months with gamcare and the counsellor said I am too strict on myself and I need to be more kind to myself. I think a lot of gamblers are probably similar. I need to allow a bit of cash to treat myself, though I find it really hard.

It has really helped that I am banned from all casinos in my area and also local boookmakers. Just making things as hard as possible for myself to access gambling. My slip ups are defintiely when I have my debit card on me and I am walking around in the town centre and see those damned places.

I hope to do a solid month gamble free and go from there.

I have been strict and given myself £35 to last me the month for fun. So a takeaway here or there.

I have been told previously that if I want to get over gambling I need to be less strict on myself. I find it very hard, and maybe being strict is a form of punishment, that eventally leads to me slipping up.

My card is at a friend's house, so I do not have access to anything other than £35.

WIsh me luck

Coming up to 5 days. Going a few weeks at a time is not unusual, but 5 days marks a good point in recent months, as I have been going through a really bad period.

I am confident I can make a month and from there I will keep going.

7 days done, coool.

My biggest problem is I need to find a job as my fixed term ends soon, but am struggling as I don't have any real skills. I really need to bag a decent job, I am not askng for much, just pay me £18-20k I will be very happy with that...

12 days... Thinking a lot about the casino. They have not got back to me at al about removing self exclusion, i believe they have blocked my emails.

I think they are doing me a favour.

Well you have certainly got me baffled!

In one post you claim to be desperately trying to stop gambling and than in another you are on about trying to get your casino self-exclusion lifted.

Stephen

Unfortunately fighting addiction is a struggle and I think it helps myself to talk about the good and the bad. I am currently gamble free but I still have feelings of wanting to go gamble in a casino.

Of course there is always a tussle within all of us to go one way or the other. Fortunately as I have said before, I have made enough blocks so that I immediately don't have access to money to gamble.

As a diary I have found it is useful to not censor feelings and thoughts either. This is precisely how a diary should operate I believe, as a chance to reflect.

Onwards and upwards. I believe I am in a good position to hit my short term target of 1 month free.

My goal for the end of the month is to remove the £200 overdraft facility I have in my current account, as that is something I could take advantage of. It does mean I have to be extra careful to not go into arrears, though I could keep an overdraft of say £10.

Of the £35 I have myself to spend this month, I only have £15 left 🙁

Hi Urgh, I am no expert by any stretch of the imagination and can read how much you are struggling with this. .i just wanted to stop by and say well done on your recent 12 days, and hopefully give you a little more strength to get the next day under your belt, and then the next day, and then the one after that until you feel a little more in control. It's tough when other things are going wrong. I too have only £20 left for the end of the month. But I'm counting my GF days and hoping that will keep me strong!

15 days, come at me!

Thanks for your reply Lil30

3 weeks today!

It is payday week so I have retrieved my debit card. Not only that, I have £300 in cash on me, so this week I have to be really careful and get through it and then take my card and cash away while the bills get paid.

I have had gambling thoughts, especially heading out to the casino.

Hopefully can stay strong. I'd like to get to a month, as I don't think I have had a month free in a long time.

Unless I find a job soon, I will be unemplyed come 1st April, so that is playing on my mind a lot... Lets not think about it too much. Job hunting needs to ramp up..

Self Sufficient Stephen wrote:

Well you have certainly got me baffled!

In one post you claim to be desperately trying to stop gambling and than in another you are on about trying to get your casino self-exclusion lifted.

Stephen

I don't know where your at mate but I have this issue loads of times, thanks urgh and your diary for getting me through today.

Yo, re your enquiry re lifting your self exclusion, it has to be for a min of 6 months . Unless you stated longer . To be reinstated after 6 months plus , you will need to have a meeting with a manager who will then recommend or not depending on your answers . This is the guidelines set down by the gambling commition. Thought I would tell you coz it may well help you stop having urges , as you have little or no chance of being reinstated . Head forward into the light , fight the urges and have a happier life . Gambling became habit , the longer you go without it , the habit becomes a distant memory hopefully one you realise you are better off without. Not easy I know, but you can do it , believe .............Shiny 🙂

How you doing Urgh? I too battled pay day this week, and now have barely any money left over, yet still entertain thoughts about just 'trying' my luck with the last ten pounds... etc.. etc...hope you're feeling good today!

dustyfairy25 wrote:

Yo, re your enquiry re lifting your self exclusion, it has to be for a min of 6 months . Unless you stated longer . To be reinstated after 6 months plus , you will need to have a meeting with a manager who will then recommend or not depending on your answers . This is the guidelines set down by the gambling commition. Thought I would tell you coz it may well help you stop having urges , as you have little or no chance of being reinstated . Head forward into the light , fight the urges and have a happier life . Gambling became habit , the longer you go without it , the habit becomes a distant memory hopefully one you realise you are better off without. Not easy I know, but you can do it , believe .............Shiny 🙂

There are 3 casinos in my twn, self excluded from all of them, each one twice. So trying to reinstate membership again they start asking questions a bit more. So yes, I did go to the one casino to have a meeting, but I guess the feedback wasn't great as no matter how many emails I was sending, I ws getting no reply from head office x, so I assume I am blocked or whatever. So that did me a favour.

A casino opened in a neighbouring city, I had joined late last year and a month of gambling I believe I eaked out a gain of1k but lost it all back, I do remember that sickeining feeling of being in the casino for 10 hours straight and working on nervous energy. No food at all. The shame of moving away from the table to the machine so no-one can see what I'm playing. 10 hours of gambling I was fed up and put all my money on one spin. You know how it went.

I self excluded after that. Despite losing that money I remember befriending some holiday goers and saw they were gambling for a while (I was there longer than everyone else!). I told them to enjoy their holiday and don't waste it in a place like this. They toook my advice and left.

I remember the manager was a real a******e and told me to get the hell out of the casino on my way out after self excluding.

Not all managers are like that. One place the manager was quite nice. It's plain to see they keep track of how much you spend, and they could see I'd lost quite a lot of money compared to most people.

I am 28 days free, or pretty much a month. I have a lot of anxiety related to my personal and working life, so that has taken over any idea of gambling. I fear once that period of worry goes I will be left with that feeling of wanting to relieve pressure and take my mind off things..

I am in a good place right now though. I have a lot of money on me right now, but no strong urges right now. If I did slip up it would be a shame, but gambling only once in a month would also be progress.

I really appreciate everyone's replies, hope everyone is doing well.