game over

I was stood up at the kiosk in asdas last week and the queue was getting longer and the hold up was a guy who was changing up some scratchcards. He was in front of me so I could see they were all 10 pound ones and when the guy finished putting them through he said "thats 40 pounds back" so the man asked for 10 more 10 pound ones and gave an extra 60 quid.

Anyway when he left the asda guy said sorry for the wait and I said "he won a few quid then" and asda man said "no he buys 10 lots of 10 pound scratchcards twice a week and that is the most he has ever got back".

I went to the car and sat for a minute and thought quietly to myself- that will never be me again. Utter relief!

Linda

Hi baby bluesky, ive managed to not gamble for 60 days now,im doing well, two whole months I last gambled on 27th December I used to gamble at bingo halls to start off with then I moved onto betting shops putting £500 in the machines every month losing that amount of money for 12 years that carried on. when I last gambled on 27th December it made me think no more, im not going to suffer no more, there are far too many nice places to visit in this world and loads of nice things to doo its silly to be wasting my money gambling.

Hi Linda, I've been quite lucky with scratch cards, I won a hundred quite a few times and I think that's what I've had in my head, not had any more thoughts though since so all good.

Well done stop your doing amazing and must be so proud, 12 years is a long time and imagine a hard habit to break but goes to show that it can be done and your right the worlds your oyster go and see it and do all thing's you want to do, life's too short!!

Day 81

Had a tough week at work, had to break some heartbreaking news to a work colleague, never get emotional at work but this time I did.

Angry for a couple of days but like everything else it passes.

Payday on Thursday, went into town and did some retail therapy yesterday to cheer myself up, got to say it worked a treat, this wouldn't have been possible a couple of months ago, it would have been payday Thursday and at least half my wages gone with me fretting then chasing the money until I'm in skint city then worry about how am going to get through the month, then borrow, such a vicious cycle - one which I'm now free of

Passed L500 wohoo, on a roll now flying through the levels. Note to myself I must get out more lol

Hey bbsky,

Great achievement on g free time and....hmmm..lol cc levels..lol ( jealousy comes out on this one lol lol)

Keep making the right choice, believe in urself, ride crappy days out and enjoy good ones!!

You doing great, it only takes that minute to make the right choice to keep enjoying your day and life ahead.

You are worth it

Stay safe and keep strong

Take care

S x

Run and hide BBS, run and hide.........475.......less than 50 behind now!!! Lol!!!

Hope you're ok Mrs - very quiet this week, must be nightshirts or something.

You're doing great Mrs.........catch up soon,

Mr Bx

PS Toot toot.........ALL ABOARD!!!

Thanks Sandra, your also doing fab. Mr B I have nothing to fear, just hope you get stuck on 500 for as long as I did lol

Back to GP today the chest infection got into my sinuses, got some steroids so hopefully they will work, just being working then going to bed this week as felt awful and just want to sleep. She recommended a holiday in the sun, best advice given ever, might have taken up her advice if it was free on prescription, says it's a new cold from the first one I'm getting over, hazards of my job I suppose.

No rest for the wicked, working an extra shift tonight, must have put that down when I was having a crazy moment, just want it over and done with, got the weekend off so not so bad. No plans as yet.

Not had one thought on gambling this week so far so that's great, just going to read a few diaries before I head off, hope everyone is doing well with their recovery x

I've just realised that I must have had CC'itus when I last posted on your diary BBS - for clarity, nightshift, not nightshirt.........or as my mum pointed out, just glad I got the wrong consonant and never missed it out altogether!!

I hope the steroids work Mrs - you seem to have been battling this forever huh? Bet it just never seems to be ending. Extra shifts won't help either, but it keeps you busy.

I have to say BBS, it's interesting that the girlypower CC group focuses on your level - J has gone quiet about hers now ? 😉 Lol!! I am stuck again though......and no where near L500 I may add!! No update this Sunday, too busy!! Lol!!

Take care folks and keep up the great work.

Mr Bx

Thanks folks, steroids are working- am eating for Scotland England Ireland and Wales, feeling slightly better though, ears just feel filled with fluid which is great as I have selective hearing at work and can use it to my advantage at home lol.

Not sure but think it's Day 89, not a lot to say except working hard, living sober and gamble free. Had 1 urge in the last couple of days but it wasn't a strong urge and it passed within a few seconds so all is good.

Still sitting in pj's watching cr** telly, should be studying, keeping myself up to date but it can wait another day, been busy all week so I'm giving myself a day off 🙂 As long as I don't get bored as I know where that can lead!!

No gambling for me today.

It's nearing the end of day 90 today, must admit I've thought about gambling loads today, that's what I get when I have too much time on my hands.

The same old slot I used to play comes back to haunt me, I won £1500 the last time I played it and that seems to be embedded in my memory not the thousands I lost trying to win the progressive jackpot, which I was sure I was going to win one day lol, ha-ha what a joke - joke was on me, I was NEVER going to win it, I'm sure I would have put that money back into the game again but that memory seems to have been wiped.

It's funny how at times when you get urges you can only think of the money you could win and never the destruction it would cause, hindsight at times like this would be wonderful. It's a bit like grief and loosing someone, eventually you only remember the good times and forget the bad times, maybe I'm grieving gambling today. I've still got an account in a site that I self excluded from for a certain period of time, that time must be up I'm not going to close it I don't trust myself today but I must do it at some point or get someone to do it for me soon.

If that's my only grumble today then I'm doing great, there are far more people worse off than me in this world worrying about things in life that do matter!

Today I did not cave, tomorrow is a new day

Hey BBS

A very reflective post tonight girl - and superb that you've not given in despite the temptations. Maybe knowing that this account is within touching distance is eatin at you and may be best to get someone to head in and remove the "location" bit of the triangle for you.

You're doing amazingly - 90 days......exactly a quarter of a year........technically today!! 13 weeks of no gambling, more security financially, less worries, ability to sleep better.........all definites rather than the "maybe" of the alternative.......that we both know is a "very very highly unlikely".......

Keep going BBS - you're proof that this can be done an that you are one of the 3%!! Oh, plus you are the CC champ!!

Take care,

Mr B

Thanks Mr B your totally right, the quicker I remove it the better and life is a lot less stressful, just wish my brain will eradicate the cells that makes me forget otherwise.

Hope you all have a great night out this weekend you all deserve it and especially after all the hard work you have put in.

I wear my crown with pride lol

Take care x

Congratulations on 90 days and what better way to celebrate than to delete the account you mentioned yesterday. We all suffer the same urges but by reaching 90 days you have shown you can beat this. There will be days for all of us when we have to fight the urges, be strong, there's lots of us here for you willing you on!

Thanks Bornagain for posting and your support it's good to know am not alone with this, 90 days is too far to go back. Tried logging in the site to email them but couldn't remember my password lol so phoned them to close the account, wasn't tempted or impressed at all by the "free" cash they offered but at least it's now closed and not hanging over my head. Hope your enjoying Bonnie Scotland and have a great time x

Day 91, feeling more positive than I did yesterday, had a lot of thoughts about my gambling and why I did it - I've come to the conclusion it was a form of escapism but no further urges as yet.

Next 4 days should be relatively easy, have to work in a different area of work for a week once a year and I chose this week, quite looking forward to the change of scene, it should be my last night shifts this year which am disappointed with as I sleep better.

For the moment all is good 🙂

Hiya bbsky 🙂

Wow, look at u marching forwards and reaping all the benefits on the way!! Isn't it great?! It's fantastic my friend, recovery never stops giving and you are truly worth all the good things on your way 🙂

Really proud of you and wish u all the best. Keep it up soldier, stiny steps forward, keep ur head high, and keep doing what you doing, it is defo working my friend!!

Keep candy crushing lol..never let them two to get close lol lol..i think im out of the race, useless lol..still on 163 lol...but i hav an excuse - last time i played was bout 3weeks ago, so give my good shot today lol..Never ever give up!!! Lol keep u updated 😀

Take care and hav a good day

Sandra x

Thanks for the support Sandra, don't give up cc your doing great.x

Not sure what day am on or even what day it is, just woke up and feel like I have a bad hangover, managed 4 hours sleep today. The last few days have been a nightmare thought I would sleep well but I must invest in some black out curtains was lucky if I got 5 hours sleep a day so absolutely shattered this morning. Not sure when or If I will ever do night shift again but hope it's not any time in the near future. Back to work on Tuesday then off for 2 weeks, I so cannot wait but will need to keep my guard up!

No thoughts or urges for the last few days so all good in that department. Going out to enjoy the sunshine 🙂 in need of some fresh air.

Hoping the Don's do well today.