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Peace to you as well little friend.

Take care and keep safe.

Blondieexxxx

Good morning diary,

Another sunny morning and am counting my blessings today. Been just over two weeks since my madness moment and had a lot of thinking to do over it...breaking the cycle is priority, after that i can get a little more comfier on recovery train.
Had an amazing last few days and by the looks of it they don't stop coming! Met with our dear Shiny and had a good chat about recovery and those little ant hills. You have no idea my dear friend how much more boost and determination i have found in myself ☺..thank you once again for your time and warm welcome as always.
My spirits got lifted even higher yesterday cause i heard near enough from all of you my dear soldiers...my dear wee pal Irene!!! So so good to hear from you and absolutely loving pic of Paddy, he is top four legged friend :-)..amazing to see you marching on without looking back! X
Heard from our Carla also, it's amazing to see that glimpse of hope and never ending determination to succeed in this quest of ours...
My dear Soul....we will keep saving for that private jet lol and can pass pilot licence so we can take GC soldiers around the world to some exotic country and have a blast of a holiday! Lol...ya are keeper ya know that right? :-))))))
My dear sis Joan, ever so proud of you and feel honoured to be part of your trust circle..it means the world to me and i will never ever leave your side!..thank you again for all the kind words and support you so heavenly share.
Our Suzzzzane and her new house hunt! Way to go girl and i still feel you shouting through that phone how happy you are lol..don't have to see you to believe your genuine joy and that awesome smile planted in your face! Keep up the good work, recovery never stops giving!
Dear Rachel and her animal sanctuary lol..am more than happy to hear you're making such an important steps to get that closure you so deserve. By your side all the way girl, never stop believing 😉
Ryan, my dear friend, foot in front of another right..nice and steady and thank you so much for your unconditional support and touching the base!
Of course how could i forget my Sesuo crazy !☺ if i could put into words how proud i am of you for dealing with such stressful situations around you, this little box wouldn't b enough lol..I'm sure ya will have a earache pretty soon so best get those earphones on lol.
Dear Duncs! Yup man :-)))))) o*g o*g lol..that's all I'm saying ...HD indeed and am over the moon for your continued abstinence and thank you for showing us the way forward..recovery is something amazing - it gifts life back!

I would like to thank everyone who is posting on this forum. I get so much positive energy from you all and even if i don't post a lot now, i do read occasionally and have a little "ya go go dear soldier!!" moments here lol. It is soo good to see all of you making your lives a better place to be, really inspiring..thank you for sharing.

So that's me this morning. Was on the road most of my holiday and do love driving! Sooo much that engine light come back on on the dashboard lol (i just "fixed" the issue couple of weeks back).
Oh well! ..I've seen more of England in the last two weeks than all 11 years i live in here. So so many lovely places it's breath taking!...

.....well, all i can say - to be continued 🙂

Have a lovely g free day guys and never give up the fight, recovery is possible and miracles does happen 😉

S x

Hi S,

What a lovely POSITIVE post, Hun, you have a lovely gambling free day too.

Blondieeexxxxx

Thank you S and Xena, both ever so respectable soldiers on this site and in my eyes at the same level on recovery because no matter how many days we stay clean we are only one bet away from self destruction...proud of you girls! Be kind to yourselves

Dear diary,

So what are my thoughts today. A little up & down already and noticing urges..As Dan said not long ago...i am welcoming them and asking what outcome will it bring for me if i succumb...hmmm...already grim result and noooo..i don't want that. It is a lot easier to resist knowing that i have no access to money...but once again all the words I've been told in this journey are kind of "faded" at the minute..i recognise it as addiction trying to break through so staying on my guard today and dealing with them head on. I do recognise upcoming work tomorrow playing a big part in my emotional state today, it will b hard to get back into routine but another day another dollar huh. Have so many thoughts re addiction but they seem to clash today and i am not even able to formulate a sentence to express myself so best keep it simple - one day at a time matters the most...today is the day to make that right choice going forward.
So had a good day yesterday, went to the festival and let the "gang" go wild and enjoy themselves lol. First time i was sober in such an event and it was kinda different but i also noticed that i don't need any substances to relax and have a little dance myself lol. Legs aches today, my counter says i walked 18 miles yesterday lol..yup that's about right and i suppose it was counting my jumps to the tunes also lol. It was absolutely shocking to see the drug use in there. Not sure that was cause i was sober but it was huge difference from festivals i attended before....i thought to myself that it could of been me....it was me at one point :-(...but now i am making the right choices to put my life bk on track again.
Friday was very lovely day and i went out to lovely Pompey to meet up with one of the greatest souls of this forum! My dear Duncs...such a wise and inspiring soul and even if i couldn't take my gaze away from your hair (how rude of me lol lol..but that is something amazing you owe lol) i took so much on and learned about addiction big time. I was absolutely chuffed to have my dear Sesuo Juune there with me cause she is so so serious about recovery and i knew that your kind and wise words will spur her on to succeed in this quest...it is not about stopping gambling huh...we have a lot of learning to do to keep addiction arrested..the more we learn the better 🙂
Thank you for your time, it is really appreciated and i am over the moon for you and your lovely family who truly deserves to get their husband and dad back ☺..keep abstaining and maintaining!

So that's me, waffled enough i think, taking it one step at a time and looking ahead...life goes on 😉

...to be continued

Stay safe all and keep reaping the benefits abstinence gifts, it will never stop coming..please take it.

S x

Hi coo,coo,

So pleased you visited Pompey land, and met Duncs with all his hair (lol) have only spoken to this wise man on the phone, but the vibes he has given me, via phone, email, and of course on the forum, have been vital to me in my recovery journey. Because he is soo reassuring and soothing, ( sos Duncs but it is a compliment I know you don't want credit) lol.

Yes S the addiction we have to continue to come to terms with, but recovery is what we have to put first, recovery is the only answer, follow the recovery road what ever the weather brings, and the addiction will stay second best.

I understand your thoughts about going back to work, but S that is a job, not your life, you have discovered recovery hold on to it now, the job like the addiction, will take second place, recovery is the most important thing now, because without it, the job, never mind the addiction, will take over and make you very negative again,

Think recovery for you, everything else will fall into place what ever the weather, recovery is the only way to go in the end, even though that road may be tough.

Blondieeeexxxxx

For someone who didn't think they could string a sentence together, you sure got some good stuff out 🙂

Let's face it Coo Coo, you practically retired you've been off work so long so it's always going to be a pain having to go back but you've grown in this last month! You've driven about twice round the world, smashed a leadership course, done Sand Angels, seen your parents, took the dream bull by the horns to name but a few, this is what recovery is all about 🙂 Good on you today for lifting your head & considering the end result of allowing addiction to win! Standing up and fighting it head on is much better for you than being the clown that keeps getting up!

Tipu tapu ODAAT - Juuuuuune

If you are back at work tonight Hun. Have a good one, keep that positivity going, you might be pleasantly surprised with yourself at the end of your shift, positivity brings strength, strength brings new options, and options give hope and hope is acted upon. Because you are in recovery.

Enjoy your freedom of recovery.

Sxxxxxxx

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Morning back coo coo,

Soo pleased it turned out nice again and in case you did not hear lol, soo pleased HD indeed.

Blondieeeexxx

Hiya Sandra, thanks for the nudge, I'm still very much around the forum I'm "in and out like a fiddlers elbow" 😉

it's the thing that keeps me on the straight and narrow, unity is strength yeah Coo Coo 😉

it's lovely to read your upbeat inspiring posts you seem in such a great place, OAU Girl 😉 ...as for me I'm content too, but if I'm honest the urge to gamble is very strong some days just like Suzanne said the other day "urges come at any time whatever our mood" ....i feel when I'm really upbeat I'm most vulnerable, but I've made so many promises and commitments for the future that gambling failure cannot be an option for me, so it's OAU Ginge .....then just when I thought "what possibly could go wrong" London Underground announced another tube strike...that means our Junnnie's gotta navigate the streets of Londinium again on a Boris bike :-/ ...doesn't Junie make our recovery fun ;-)))

have a great day Sandra, keep strong, keep winning, keep mentoring, and keep being Coo Coo... OAU Ginger x

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Sandra hope everythings ok...Ginge x

Hi S,

Hope all is well

Blondieexxx

Hi Sandra, blippings ok, after all we're all a 'work in progress' ...glad all's well in Coo Coo's world apart from that, the Ginger ones very pleased to hear that ;-)) ..there's a rainbow after every storm for sure Sx..OAU..Ginge x

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