...

Thank you all so much

Hey you. I'm really just flying by to "touch the base"!. Would love to write a big long reply but there's a fair chance I'll miss my plane if I do 🙂 Still, I didn't want to be rude and not at least say hi.

I'm fairly certain you can guess what I'd be saying anyway! Are you like my friend who needs a good shake? Yep!! Do I know that shaking does no good? Probably....but that doesn't make me want to do it any less 🙂

"Changes needed".....you said it. You're more than capable of making changes....you've made them...sticking with them when the going gets tough is something different altogether. What happened to the rooms? You start to get somewhere and then you retreat back. But why? You know I'm going to suggest therapy again so, here goes....why not try it? Just because it didn't work before, doesn't mean it won't work this time. I get all the reasons why you don't want to. It's hard and it's upsetting and it makes you feel worse...but it will get better if you stick with it. As will the rooms. Listen Lovely, you keep trying to do this on your own, but it's a very difficult mountain to climb. Everest climbers have a back up team...why don't you think you need one? I'm not nagging (well, maybe I am a bit) but I so want you to get better. You're young, you're smart, you're very capable. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you which can be so much more than it is now.

Ok, I have to fly. Keep strong xx

Hello S
Youre not getting me if you think I abandon people just becauae they dont follow my suggestions or I dont agree with their decisions. A lesson that took me a long time to learn was that just because someone doesmt agree with me it doesnt mean they dont like me. I dont put conditions on help or friendship for that matter. As always was, im here if you need me. How you choose to use that help is up to you x

Hi Sandra,

Thanks very much for your message. I really appreciate it. Great to read how well you are doing with abstaining from gambling. Sorry to read that you are having a tough time re the drinking. They are two huge things to tackle at the same time and you will inevitably have ups and downs. Stay strong and remember how good those ups are.

Like you said in your post to me, your recovery is about you. Please don't get dragged down by some of the tripe people post on this forum. I honestly believe that sometimes people take solace from seeing other people in a dark place as it makes them feel better about their own lives. In some peoples cases the gambling addiction or gambling support role is replaced by a new addiction ie spending hours every day on this forum!

Do it for you. You can and will beat these addictions. Stay strong.

Dave X

Hiya Coo coo ..how's my brain training going?...not too bad thanks S, shouldn't be a long process as I've not that much brain to train ;-)) ...good days and nights but I've got to try and be more positive in the mornings...I've got the world on my shoulders when I wake in the morning...I'm a very slow starter always have been, but when Mr Gambles been around its compounded 10 fold :-((...you say you've never been a make up sort of girl Sandra, me neither ;-)) ...but honestly I've spent a small fortune over the years on face creams and serums ...have they worked??? Who knows how old I'd have looked without them :-)) ...KTF Coo Coo.

toliau ir ivirsu Ginger x

Hey, S x x

No reply needed but just dropping by to say I'm thinking of you. Wishing I could wrap you up in a snuggly blanket and make your dinner for you. I always feel so much I want to treat my Gamcare friends like royalty and pamper them. I think we all have that in common that we wish we had someone to take care of us for a while and make us feel safe and that everything is going to be OK.

Lots of love and hugs x x

Hi Sandra,

Hope you are well....thought about you often even though I've been regularly too much of a coward to come back on the forum for a while...failure breeds failure when it comes to beating this thing. Head out of the sand (or possibly my ar*e), need to break this. Glad to see you are still fighting, even if the challenges often seem like mountains ahead...keep looking up.

xxx

Ryan

Hiya Sandra....I've got a great mindset today...hopefull that it's still with me in the morning 🙂 coz I'm gonna drop "the florist" to work then instead of getting back under the duvet I'm putting on the trainers and going for a run..more jog really ..as its going to be hot tommorow I was thinking of heading for the beach, but at 52 miles I'm being a little to optimistic ;-))

Interesting what you said about plants for sleep, I've moved a largish Aloe Vera into the bedroom coz they say they are a great sleep aid according to Dr Google they take all the negative stuff from the air...if I become Rip van Winkle you may not hear from me for a while ;-))

I'll leave you to round up those challengers Sandra...thanx for everything...have a fab day...Ginge x

PS ..It'll be nice when you go home on your hols with no wifi..away from it all, a kind of freedom,just chilling. KTF x

Hey you....just popping in to wish you happy jollydays. I'm sure you're really looking forward to going back home for a while and I've no doubt your folks can't wait to see you. Enjoy every last minute of it...even the flight if you can! A little rest and relaxation (and no wi-fi) sounds perfect for you just now. You've been working so hard you've def earnt it. See u when you get back xx

Eventful day S ...you coped very well, well done you :-))...I had vehicle trouble last week engine management light came on...panic stations all I could see was £££££ signs ...thought I phone my garage before taking it in ;-(( mechanic says "is the light Amber or red"?...Amber i says ...ok disconnect the battery lead leave for 15 mins then reconnect and start if lights still on bring it in...guess what no light, happy daze cheap fix ;-))...but I bet if the engine blows up he will say "I never told you to do that" lol

have a lovely hol Sandra...maybe you've already left ..catch ya later.. Ginger x

PS ....As for flying anxiety your defo not alone with that 😉 ..some people say I don't like the take off and landing but I'm ok when I'm up there...not me I hate every second..I sit down and rarely leave my seat for the whole duration..regardless of flight distance...but it's by far the safest way to travel...even safer than running ;-))) ...have a great time S ..G x

Thank you all xx

Well diary, long time no speak so i shall update you now. Don't think i will have time tom as still need to do the packing!

Last few months been rite roller coaster ride. Only now i feel like i got off it..calm returned.
Not sure what triggered my v low and nasty moods but towards the end i was out of control and clearly noticed that myself. Closest and dearest got the initial shock and punches and i am still very shaky about the hurt i dished out. (Sorry again K). I didn't turn to gambling or excessive alcohol intake. Yes, i had a few during last month but probably just once a week. Not sure why i keep making excuses here...the latter addiction is quite strong and I'm not ready for a full abstinence here. I said it..no more beating myself up for having an occasional glass.

Work got me on my knees recently. Physically & emotionally couldn't hack it anymore. Still..i grinned and beared till my official holiday time. I made it! ☺

I had an interview for another place yesterday. Do like the place...and it's in another town. Maybe just maybe new beggining is round the corner. I shall embrace it if it is no matter how scary it feels.

I have no urges to gamble. I was surprised with that while swimming in gutter and giving up on myself & the world around me..mr G still didn't come calling..thank God for that!

Even if i don't read here a lot (not as much as i used to), i do feel the pain of fellow soldiers...it's such nasty disease :-(.. i absolutely agree that a change is necessary to break the cycle. Let it be big changes in life, counselling, GP or rooms. We simply cannot do it by ourselves. Even this place has and continuing to help many people..for some its enough and may long GC survive! We are here for each other and it's amazing source of strength!

So..waters are calm. Going to see my lovely parents very soon and getting well excited. Nothing else really matters for me at this time...i just want their warmth and being there with me..

This year was challenging for me. Depression worsened and demons soon came bk hounting me...but as i have been told by a wise soul " there is always sun after the rain, let it in & enjoy it's rays".

That's what I'm going to do...just for today, so i can carry on on the same path tommorow.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and messages. Thank you challenegees for your commitment and determination in this good fight.
I will miss you all..i just know i will, keep up good work one and all and keep reaping the benefits recovery offers. Life can get better if you allow it. YOU are in control of your future.

Take care and keep on keeping on ☺

S x

Morning diary,

It's strange to say morning with all the time difference & me not being a morning person at all...but glossing few frowns over am replacing them with a smile pretty quick ☺

Half way through the holiday and all is good so far. I should say it's quite active holiday and not much rest had but, the most important thing is this brain & feeling peace!. Feel rested emotionally and can just look back to when i wanted to die..depression is really serious mental illness and i can't stress enough to the lack of understanding is out there for suffering souls.

Anyway, am balanced out and bk to my old self (whatever that is lol).
Parents are well & sister is not that bad after all.
Spending my time near the beach and having my early runs alongside shore (priceless!!!!!)..then plenty of Sauna's on the beach to jump & cool down in the sea when that thermometer reaches 100В°c & you can't sit any longer..(priceless!!)..a massage to boot with lovely sea sounds just outside the treatment place & bk to the sea.....here is one of my days away which were only possible with me stopping gambling.

I read a lil commotion on here last week ( was recovering from not so good flight lol) & realised that us CG's are really emotional and "needy" people. I had a think about my own behaviour over the time on here and was horrified to be honest. I also notice a lot of different characters..which is just human nature.
I v nearly come to the conclusion to leave GC behind. I am addicted to the site. Here we go...simple. i got hooked on here & that's not the life i would like. Some changes will be implemented on this my lil "issue" and i shall keep moving on.

Ohhhh..cannot blab on any longer so will be back to finish this post when time slot is located. For now - fun fun fun & happy memories to b created.

Stay safe all...hugs, peace, belief to you

S x

Great to hear you are having a wonderful holiday, you absolutely deserve it! Glad your family are well too, although as someone who struggles once the temperature gets over 20 degrees, I don't think the beach sounds too great, not for me anyway. Reap the rewards of not gambling, and keep those benefits front and centre of your mind, as they are worth so much more than the stupid addiction. Don't know anything about drama, as usual, and you are right, nothing to do but keep moving on.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday. xxx

Thanks for thinking of us on your holidays! Keep enjoying them. Tri

Thanks for your kind post, enjoying the good food is definitely one of the big bonuses of holidays! Hopefully when I go hiking next month, the exercise means I get to stuff plenty of calorific foods down my through too. Already looking forward to the Menu del Dia (2 or 3 course meals for 10 euros, including half a bottle of wine!), and some amazing seafood. Hungry now.... 🙂